Them’s fighting words. I know. But hear me out.
We all fell in love with John Cusack’s character in Say Anything. What was not to love about the boy who didn’t want to sell anything, buy anything, or process anything as a career? In Your Eyes was already a romantic song, but after Lloyd and the boombox, it became the most romantic song in the history of all romantic songs that ever were or ever will be.
Even so, there are a few film characters that would be an even better imaginary boyfriend.
- Sam from Benny and Joon. Sam loves Joon no matter what. He loves her when she’s lucid. He loves her when she flips out on a bus. He loves her when she directs traffic with a ping pong paddle while wearing swim goggles. If for no other reason than the fact the would risk his limbs to swing in front of her hospital window so that she knows she’s not alone. Perhaps, Sam slightly lacks intellectually on some levels. On others, he’s a genius. How could you ever be bored with Buster Keaton reincarnated? Besides, Sam is gorgeous.
- El Mariachi from Desperado. An argument against El Mariachi is that being in his proximity means you’re in danger. From Danny Trejo no less. That is one scary dude. Sure, El’s a killer which is much worse than being a bit of a slacker like Lloyd Dobler. On the other hand, there is that hair. Holy shit. Hair pulled back with a piece of leather or hanging loose around his face makes no difference.Gorgeous. Also, no one slow-walks away from a fire better than El Mariachi. Not to mention the sex. The sex scene between El Mariachi and Carolina. Fucking hell.
- Johnny Castle from Dirty Dancing. The relationship was doomed before it started. She wants to set the world on fire and he’s going to continue making a living having diamonds shoved down his pants. It’s Johnny Castle, though. How many times did we see ourselves practicing ‘the lift’’ in the lake with Johnny? Then there is the ‘dance with me’ scene. You know the scene. The one scene that you rewind and watch over and over if you are watching Dirty Dancing alone.
- William Thacker from Notting Hill. Don’t hate on William Thacker. He’s captivating. He says something awkward and then out-awkwards himself. Adorable. All you want to do is touch his hair. He owns a book shop so that is a big plus. The biggest reason William Thacker makes a good boyfriend? When he screws up royally, he takes full responsibility for his screw up. What woman wouldn’t find that trait attractive? Readers of Horse and Hound agree, William Thacker is the shit.
- Westley from Princess Bride. As you wish. Enough said.
- Sam Baldwin from Sleepless In Seattle. He is proven. He had a strong love, he believed in commitment, he could be devoted. Also, Sam Baldwin might even out-cute William Thacker. Plus, any man who devotes himself to his child is going to make a good boyfriend. Priorities are important.
- Gilbert Grape from What’s Eating Gilbert Grape. Gilbert bears a strong resemblance to Sam from Benny and Joon. Gilbert has better hair and he’s not quite so crazy. He’s loyal and quiet and has a strong sense of duty. He isn’t perfect and he knows that. He is empathetic, unaffected, and seems as comforting as the softest blanket at a baby shower.
Maybe, none of these are actually better than Lloyd Dobler. Who wasn’t ready to step in and take Diane Cort’s place when Lloyd said “She’s gone. She gave me a pen. I gave her my heart, she gave me a pen.”
Today is Randy’s birthday. I’m celebrating by blogging about imaginary boyfriends because I’m sweet that way.
Who would you add to the list?
“Readers of Horse and Hound agree, William Thacker is the shit.” OMG, that is the best.
Since I’m a sentimental, romantic dork, I would have to add Mark Darcy. How can you not love a man who says, “I don’t think you’re an idiot at all. I mean, there are elements of the ridiculous about you. Your mother’s pretty interesting. And you really are an appallingly bad public speaker. And, um, you tend to let whatever’s in your head come out of your mouth without much consideration of the consequences… But the thing is, um, what I’m trying to say, very inarticulately, is that, um, in fact, perhaps despite appearances, I like you, very much. Just as you are.” SWOON!
Great post! Thanks for sharing.
Yeah…THAT is an awesome quote. Who wouldn’t want to hear that? I mean, unless you’re a public speaker or something.
I do like your comment policy. 🙂 And on that note, this was FUCKING BRILLIANT and I would like to put forth Marty McFly from Back to the Future as a candidate. He’s boyishly charming, adventurous, smart, funny, physically daring, and his friendship with Doc is the CUTEST. Plus you know he’s gagging for it from the way he says “throw a couple of sleeping bags in the back” to his girlfriend. Phwoar.
Marty McFly is an EXCELLENT addition to this list.
I’m the only person I know in the world who doesn’t love movies. Consequently, I’ve only seen two of these. Therefore, no great movie boyfriends are popping into my head. No, that will happen the middle of the night and I will try to fumble around for my cell phone and share my brilliant idea—- or that won’t happen and I’ll just go on feeling inadequate.
NOOOOOOOOOO….I wish you wouldn’t feel inadequate!
I just re-watched “The Talented Mr. Ripley,” and I have to say that Tom Ripley is very versatile, passionate and fascinating, although I think he prefers men over women and he might kill you if you get in his way. I guess he’s not really good boyfriend material. Nate Fisher from Six Feet Under would make a great TV boyfriend, but for me it’s Gilbert Grape for the win!
I didn’t even think about TV..my list would be too long. It would start with the Winchesters and end with the bad ass and his crossbow..with a zillion in between
Please excuse me for stating the bloody obvious… But John Bender “Breakfast Club” … Coz every girl gotta have a bad boy even if it’s only once …
Oh god..I CANNOT BELIEVE I left him off the list. GOOD call!
I would add Peeta Mellark, but only because I’m partial to Josh Hutcherson. I’ve been crushing on Josh Hutcherson since I saw him in Firehouse Dog.
He was 15 years old then so I now realize how creepy that sounds.
I’ll shut up now.
He is a cutie, though
I love Peeta, too.
Great list, and what an interesting way to celebrate R’s bday lol. It’s Canada Day here, but since it’s overcast and rainy, no outings/fireworks later… that makes it a perfect day to sit on my ass and watch old movies! Happy Birthday Randy! Hope you get a boombox.
(Swinging in front of her hospital window!!! awww man, I KNOW, right?)
I love that scene so much…
thank you, Kat!
Happy birthday, Randy! Give Michelle some ping pong paddles and goggles!
Thank you, Suz! I might encourage Michelle to don the El Mysterio wrestling mask and engage in tequila creative therapy.
El Mariachi, oh yes please. I would like to add Edward Lewis from Pretty Woman, especially for the scene in the Rodeo Drive shop, Han Solo – Star Wars, Aragorn from Lord Of The Rings, Sam – Addicted To Love, Quinn Harris from Six Days, Seven Nights and Robbie -The Wedding Singer.
Oh man…THAT is a great list!
Han Solo, yum. Actually, I have a real thing for Harrison Ford period. I even watched the horrible Sabrina remake ’cause he’s in it.
But there’s something about a man with a thigh holster, amIright?
You got that right. Damn.
I loved him right up until he answered “I love you” with “I know” :p
Chili Palmer from Get Shorty. Look at me! Your husband is a lucky guy.
Oh, I love that movie!
First of all, Dobbler taught his girlfriend to drive which puts him in the Boyfriend Hall of Fame. But, I loved Blane from Pretty in Pink. He is like a real-life guy. Total asshole who finally gets it right.
Blane? Blane isn’t a name..it’s an appliance.
I like Ducky in that movie.
The whole picking Blane over Ducky in the end made my husband hate Molly Ringwald for the rest of the 80s. True story.
He liked her again a few years ago when she was on the American Teenager thing.
HAHAHAH
Never liked Dirty Dancing and most of the rest I didn’t see.
Being female, I am required to like Dirty Dancing.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY RANDY! I like to yell that, because birthdays are HUGE DEAL around our house. Have an awesome day full of awesome moments!!!
Hmmm, imaginary boyfriends? Never thought about it, but off the top of my head–
1. Will Shakespeare from Shakespeare in Love, because intensity.
2. Maverick from Top Gun, because he’s troubled and he IS trouble, but he’s loyal and a romantic, and he bears a resemblance to my husband. (bonus points for motorcycle and kickass volleyball skills).
3. Jack from Titanic, because he’s real and sweet and down to earth. But he should have stayed on the floatie thing, even though it was totally sweet that he didn’t.
Plus everyone on your list… 😀
There was PLENTY of room for him on the floatie thing.
Right? They totally should have an alternate ending for that movie…
Noah Calhoun from the Notebook (I know, cliché, but the still-wet-from-the-rain scene? dayum). Plus, he remodeled the house just like she wanted and she wasn’t even there to remind him!
I have not seen that movie..
What??!!?? you just gotta!
Also, Ian Miller, My Big Fat Greek Wedding.
(God, it’s slow around the office this week.)
Ian Miller. I need to watch that one again. That movie is like a warm fuzzy blanket.
Noah, how could we forget HIM!? *swoon*
I fell in love with John Cusack when I saw “The Sure Thing,” so I vote for Walter “Gib” Gibson.
I haven’t seen that movie in years. He was totally adorable in that movie.
Wow, I don’t watch movies enough. Only one of these I’ve seen is Princess Bride. Of course that one I’ve watched fifteen times or something. Yes. Wesley.
That is one of my all time favorite movies.
I’m going to have to go with “brash space adventurer Peter Quill” (you know – Star Lord) from Guardians of the Galaxy because I like a little bit of a sweet and spicy bad boy with a heart of gold.
I really have to see that movie.
Love your list and all comments !!!! Only Colin fifth MR Darcy to add then I’m off for a very cold shower this post is to much for me !!!
Happy birthday Randy and good luck x
Hahahah…have a good shower!
Happy birthday Randy, and I don’t have any imaginary boyfriends, and haven’t seen enough movies to even have imaginary movie girlfriends… Except for maybe Katharine Ross in Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid…
See? That’s one of those perfect movies…because Redford and Newman. Damn.
Tom Hanks’ character Joe Fox from ‘You’ve Got Mail’.Love the way he woos Meg Ryan until she’s so flustered she can’t help but love him.
Yep, that’s a good one.
I’m married to a woman with a serious (and even I’ll admit understandable) crush on Hugh Jackman. Would Wolverine make a better boyfriend than Lloyd? Hard to say. She also has a crush (and one I’d also call understandable) on Johnny Depp. Clearly she’s not alone in that. Personally I think the Doctor would be the ultimate boyfriend even if he’s not the romantic type. But imagine a boyfriend who could take you out to dinner anywhere in time and space. It wouldn’t even have to be dinnertime.
So happy birthday Randy. From the sound of it you’ve found your ideal boyfriend, even if she’s not a boy.
I would totally agree with the Doctor…but I was sticking with movie characters. Yeah, Hugh Jackman is hot..and I’ve loved Johnny Depp since Jump Street.
Val Kilmer in “The Saint” – he uses so many names I couldn’t list them all! 🙂 Brendan Fraser in “The Mummy” series. And Daniel Day-Lewis in “Last of the Mohicans.” You’re welcome.
Yeah, I loved Val Kilmer as Doc Holliday. I dunno if he’d make a good boyfriend, though.
LLoyd Dobler is indeed the shit and the reason that I have a huge crush on John Cusack to this day (aside from his character Jonathan in Serendipity). But I will admit that Johnny Castle was hot and those hips…dear Lord…and Sam Baldwin….who doesn’t love a rock solid romantic?
Happy Birthday to Randy! Be nice to him :).
I HAVE been nice to him. I even told him I wouldn’t give him shit if he wanted to talk in annoying voices. Even the penguin laugh.
I confess, I haven’t seen many of these movies (I know, it’s bad. My coworker lent me Say Anything for like 3 months and I sheepishly gave it back to her unwatched).
I’d add….Maverick from Top Gun. Ferris Bueller, of course. I’m trying to think of other movie characters I’ve fallen in love with in my time, however briefly and improbably. I’m bad at this. Ummm……one of my favorite movies is Fight Club, but I’m not voting Tyler Durden. Absolutely not.
Oh for fuck’s sake…watch Say Anything. You sound like Priscilla, Queen of the cubicle. I bought her a stack of movies when she had surgery and I knew she could do nothing but lay around. Then I made her tell me about them to make sure she watched them. She had never even seen Pulp Fiction. smh
I’M SORRY I DIDN’T MEAN TO 🙁
And I have seen Pulp Fiction, multiple times, so you have that small comfort.
Well…at least there is that. Now watch Say Anything.
Yes’m
So many ideas and so little time! Besides hubby is asleep so it doesn’t do me any good to get all riled up! Happy Birthday Randy!
Yeah…best to think of such things later.
oooh the SEXXXXXXXY EVERY SEXXXXY 🙂 Chilli Palmer who’d buy me the Cadillac of minivans.
Hahahaah…that is such a great movie.
Rhett Butler – strong, determined and man enough to walk away when he was finally pushed too far.
Good one!
Ewan McGregor in “Little Voice”. Painfully shy, adorably awkward, and able to rescue you from burning buildings with a cherry-picker. Swoon.
I have not seen that one. I will though because I love that guy.
I love John Cusack. Always have, always will. Love your whole list, but WHY are we not talking about The Holiday, ladies?! I think my best friend expressed it perfectly when she leaned over and whisper-exclaimed, during a close-up of Jude Law’s dreamy smile, “oh my god, I feel like he’s falling in love with ME!” And we can’t forget Jack Black! So adorable.
Yeah, both very good additions to the list!
Jamie Bennett from Love Actually – he makes me want to learn Italian…”just in cases”.
Yep. I say ‘just in cases’ all the time.
I didn’t even think about TV..my list wouldbe too long. It would start with the Winchesters and end with thebad ass and his crossbow..with a zillion in between