So this happened.
A conversation one never expects to have.
Randy walked into the bedroom on a Wednesday evening. The weather is cold. We’ve been locked in forever. We’ve both had headaches and quite frankly, every one living in my house is getting on each other’s nerves.
Randy: Hey? Did I shave off my eyebrows?
Me:…
Me:…
Me: Dude.
Me:…
Me: Why the fuck did you shave off your eyebrows?
Then, Randy just started talking about other stuff. We had a long conversation comparing music to baseball and it was a super fun conversation, but I really had to circle back.
Me: Okay, so really. Why are your eyebrows mostly gone, exactly?
Randy: I was just trimming the gray out.
Me:…
Me:…
Me: You are such a ding dong. You’re 60. Your eyebrows are mostly gray.
Me: And they are mostly gone.
Me: Weirdo.
Randy: Seriously, what difference does it make?
Me: It makes a difference. I’m not saying that you need eyebrows to have a good life, but you look freaky with no fucking eyebrows.
Me: So, we can agree that next time you want to groom anything on your face, I will take care of it?
Randy:…
Randy: I’m not agreeing to that.
Me: You lost your rights after the whole “your appendix had gangrene before you mentioned you felt poorly” thing.
Randy: Not the same
Me: It’s under the same umbrella. Sorry. I don’t make the rules.
Randy:…
Me: I totally make the rules. No more shaving off your eyebrows.
Randy: I’m shaving my head tomorrow.
Joey walked in because he heard the topic and had to see what was going on.
Joey: What the fuck, dad?
Joey: You’re just going to look more scary to other people when you go to the grocery.
Randy: Seriously, I thought if I wore my sunglasses and double masked, nobody would notice I shaved off my eyebrows.
Me: And this is why I drink.
We started listening to music and the whole eyebrow debacle came to a close. Other than Randy has almost no eyebrows.
Also, no way he’s shaving his head.
Anyway, I hope you all are doing good as we all dive into 2021! We’re doing great!
I love you all…
This is all I have to add…. ❤️❤️
we love you, too Pseudo Kid
You all are a little “out there” aren’t you? Hahaha! Thank you for sharing.
Well, I think we’re all a bit stir crazy
I don’t know what’s more disappointing to me: that he didn’t say “I was going for a Bob Geldof in ‘Pink Floyd’s The Wall’ look” or that he didn’t go in the opposite direction and try coloring his eyebrows so he’d look more like Eugene Levy. And, holy shit, I think I just realized the most disappointing thing is I can name another guy who shaved off his eyebrows and a guy with very distinctive eyebrows without stopping to think and that means I know way too much about eyebrows.
And tangentially I don’t think “sideburns” should be called that. Nobody wants burns on their face. They should be called “earbrows”.
Earbrows!!! HAHAHAH
You never fail to make me smile!
YAY!!! THank you!
Well….ummm….during the pandemic I let my husband cut my hair. One time.
Oh god…I would never. I shudder to think
Thank you for making me grin. Since losing Ken, I haven’t been doing any of that. So, keep them coming because we all need your humor.
Okay, so if it made you smile, then it’s TOTALLY worth Randy losing his eyebrows. XOXOXO
I do love this and it gave me the must needed smile today!
Yay for smiling!!
Hilarious! I can relate…I was plucking white eyebrow hairs the other day in my 10x mirror…till I realized I’d better stop or have none left.
And yes, I know eyebrow pencils exist, but don’t own any. Besides, what color would I buy?
Thanks for the giggle!
I am with you on this. My eyebrows are brown, with stark white hairs. I bought eyebrow gel (looks like a mascara wand) but I got it in dark blond. Brown was waaaay too dark
LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOILO OMG! Too funny.
It’s always an adventure
This gave me a good laugh
I am always happy to make people laugh!
OMG. I love this. And I have nothing more to say.
Thank you!!!
My brother once sent me a letter saying that if I didn’t register the car I got from him in my name, he’d put a spell on me and make my eyebrows turn pink and fall off, but I registered the damn car and never found out whether he was bluffing…
HAHAHAHA
I knew a kid in high school (man now) who shaved off his eyebrows to spite his parents right before the senior class picture. I kept staring at him the day after he did it because I couldn’t quite place my finger on why he looked so odd/different. He finally said to me “I shaved my eyebrows off OK?” I said “no dude, it’s not OK, you look really bizarre!” LOL But I will never forget how he looked. Ever.
Yeah, it’s just wrong. We need eyebrows.
I haven’t read your blog in so long and this was the perfect first post back! THANK YOU!
I am so glad you are here!