My sweet bubby. My Alfikins. My best boy.
We had to say goodbye to Alfie a few days ago. It hurts a lot. I’m sorry he’s not here. He should be here. It’s fucking stupid that he’s not. He was only 7 and that isn’t enough years. Not nearly.
But we don’t get to pick, do we?
The only being in my house not grieving right now is Gertie. Because Alfie beat the shit out of her for 7 years.
Only that isn’t true. She was always concerned about him. And she seems so lost now.
Anyway, Randy, Joey and I decided that Gertie can’t be alone. And maybe she should have a companion that won’t continually pin her down and bite the back of her neck.
Joey found a baby girl at a rescue place. She sounded perfect in temperament and she’s gorgeous. All grey. Her name is Momo. He showed me her picture. Then, he showed Randy.
Randy was not ready. And I get that. I can wait. Not too long. Gertie needs something to cuddle. Or run with.
Randy and I went out for dinner, trying to escape the “fucking shit, Alfie is dead” cloud. We had fish and chips. We had drinks. We had a period of over two hours where neither of us cried.
We stopped at a market on the corner adjacent to restaurant and there was a sandwich board on the sidewalk in front of the market that said “Homemade bread by Momo.”
I pointed it out to Randy and said I thought the universe might be talking to us.
Randy was not convinced.
Then, we got home. Randy had made an online grocery order and they substituted the cat food he ordered. We got kitten food. The picture on the box was a little gray floof ball. Like Momo.
I mean, c’mon. I’m not a woo woo person, but those were some flashing neon signs.
So, last night, Randy says “you think that kitty might still be there? The gray one?”
I applied this morning and am waiting forever.
They called our vet and our vet had no record of Gertie. They’re a new vet that Alfie had been to multiple times. So I sent back our old vet’s information so they could see that Gertie had her shots.
You all, they have not sent anything back yet.
I have never felt more inadequate. We couldn’t make Alfie be okay and obviously Gertie hasn’t been to the vet enough.
It’s been a damn minute since I’ve been in a situation where I’m doing a variation of “why don’t they call?”
If Momo comes to live with us, she’ll be getting a new name. Because Momo? No.
I’m lobbying for “Gilda” because I’d love to have a Gertie and Gilda. Randy and Joey aren’t sold.
And it doesn’t matter anyway because they’re never e-mailing back because we’re not getting her because I suck. Obviously. This is just like not making the cheerleading squad at Conner Junior High in 1976. Only now there is an adorable kitten involved. Kittens weren’t really a cheerleading thing. They’re probably still not, but what do I know?
Here is what I know.
Alfie was loved. Alfie is mourned. Alfie has left a hole that we’re still trying to fathom. It is hard and it hurts.
All hail Alfie the Kitty.
He was a panther. He was my buddy. I miss him so bad.
I’ll let you know when Gertie gets a friend.
I’m so sorry for your loss! Big hugs!!
Thank you! It’s the shitty side of love.
I had such hope that Alfie would pull through. I’m so sorry. Wouldn’t the rescue place have the decency to contact you and tell you that you hadn’t been approved? Is there any reason you can’t contact them and ask directly? There may be multiple people applying. I still remember “Snuff” the kitten I wanted to adopt, but my husband wanted a different kitten – 54 years later.
I wanted him to pull through so bad. So much. But when it was time, it was truly time. He was done. I miss him terribly.
Oh Sweetheart :'( All the hugs and wand swirls for you and Randy and Gertie and Joey <3
I remember when you got Alfie and I know how much he was loved and adored AND annoying to Gertie. He was 'all that and a bag o' chips' <3
*more hugs*
I will be looking forward to your 'Universe Approved' (and quite possibly promoted) new kitty for Gertie …and you <3
It hurts a lot. I hate this. But I am grateful he was ours. Our little tabby we just got is adorable. And cuddly. We’re used to standoffish asshole cats. This is different. Haha
So sorry for your loss, Michelle. No matter how long we have with our pets, it’s never long enough.
It just isn’t, is it? Thank you. xo
It is upsetting at the least to lose a beloved pet, I am sorry to hear of your loss
Thank you. It really hurts and I miss him like crazy.
Having been through this too many times—and even once is too many—I know one of the things that helps is spending time with others who know what it’s like. So I’m glad you had time with Randy and also that you’re sharing with us. I hope it helps.
And I hope Gertie gets a new friend soon. The other day I walked by the Gilda’s Club in the neighborhood where I work. It’s a weird coincidence, and doesn’t mean anything because no matter what I’d be voting for Gilda too.
We settled on Bea. Bee Girl. “B” (like Faith called Buffy..I didn’t forget your had your Buffy days). We didn’t get the gray kitty. She’s a tawny tabby. So fucking cute it hurts.
My condolences and best of luck with the kitten acquisition. It’s a hard truth that most cats just don’t last that long. When Kitters did the thing that many outdoor cats do and just didn’t come home one day, Briana went into full search-and-rescue mode for weeks to no avail. At least when Zsuzs’ cat Squeaker died, it was from illness and she knew exactly what happened and where he was.
One evening about a month after Kitters went missing, Briana heard a meow from the back yard and found a black cat back there who jumped right up into her arms, after which she brought him inside and fed him tuna until he barfed on my bedspread. He’s sleeping on the red plaid blanket as I type this.
I just figure that when the cat goes away, I don’t want to have to say “I wish I had played with him more”, so I try to make every effort to play with him while I can, even though he can sometimes be a little prick…
Anyway, it’s good to hear from you again.
It’s good to be heard from. I’m so glad you have a black kitty. There was a black baby girl available but I just couldn’t. We gave up on Momo and got a baby girl that we named Bea. “B” for Buffy. Bee for “Bee girl”. She’s a cuddler which is new for us. Gertie hasn’t met her yet, but she HAS hissed at her under the door a few times. Haha