My mother and I are so different.
And so much alike.
I come from a long line of over thinkers. We’re good at it. My mother, Martha, is the current world champion. I hope to inherit that title after she shuffles off her mortal coil. 30 years from now. She’s nearly 83. I think she can make it.
Okay, so I don’t talk much about the former president anymore, because fuck that guy.
But y’all, did you see his recent major announcement? The digital trading cards? For only $99?
What an embarrassing time to be a supporter of the former guy. I can just see them, all huddled around waiting to see what major announcement their lord and savior would make that would part the clouds and bring glory to their sad existence and it ended up being trading cards. Not even real ones you can hold. Digital ones.
It’s like Ralphie in A Christmas Story with his secret decoder ring. “Be sure to drink your Ovaltine!”
I did. Last Thursday. I went to the car wash in the rain.
And that was, by far, not the weirdest thing about last Thursday. You all, seriously. What a weird fucking day.
It started with me missing my exit for work. At a job I’ve had for eight years.