I am so pleased to be over on The Sisterwives today! With such amazing fucking company!
And the post is on bitching about stuff. Holy shit, it’s like a blog post wet dream.
I hate that I have to sit here and contemplate whether or not I want to use the phrase ‘wet dream’ in a blog post. I already get fucked up searches. Randy says it has to do with not identifying what my search terms should be and something about SEO and other boring shit that I do not care about it. Also, to the person who found my blog with the disgusting mother/son search term. There is a special place in hell for you. Sick fuck.
Anyway, please stop by, you won’t be sorry. There are some funny motherfuckers on there today and they are all talking about their pet peeves.
I was asked to send in a pet peeve of mine, but, since I am me, I couldn’t just send one. What if I they hated it? So, I wrote two which also seemed risky. So, I sent in three and they used two of them.
I hate for the third one to go to waste, so here it is. My third wheel pet peeve:
There’s a woman at my job who is a bitch. She’s always a low grade bitch, but sometimes, she kicks that shit into high gear. I’ve heard her explain her behavior away with ‘Well, you know…Mercury is in retrograde”. Then she shakes her Stevie Nicks bracelet with all the crystals on it. Just hearing them jingle hurts my Feng Shui.
Pretty sure if Mercury is in retrograde for her, it’s in retrograde for all of us and I don’t see anyone else blaming their chapped chakras on another planet taking a hop backward a couple times a year. Also, I think Mercury isn’t really in retrograde as often as she claims it is. I can’t substantiate this though, because Miss Cleo isn’t available.
Besides, everyone knows that people only get weird when there’s a full moon.
Anyway, it was so nice to be included and I’m glad to know that I’m not the only one out there who is horribly annoyed by silly shit.
Ha, just saw your blog appear, perfect timing today! I was just allowing my blood pressure to rise as some twonk on FB is starting a riot between fellow musicians, about something totally trivial and I somehow let myself get sucked into it….gah.
Must be Mercury in retrograde.
🙂
Why does Mercury keep fucking everything up?
It’s totally messing with my chakra man….. or maybe, just maybe I’m just in a bad mood and tired because the clocks changed and I hate this time of year
It is a difficult time of year….I hope you feel better soon
If the neighbour’s dog shits on our front lawn and he doesn’t pick it up again, I am going to chase them all to Mercury’s retrograde!
Did I use that correctly ‘cuz Mars is in retrograde and it affects my aura?
That would piss me off so much! And I’m not sure if you used it correctly or not…we’ll go with yes…yes you did.
I swear we have to be twins separated at birth. I have a suggestion: choke the bitch out with her Stevie Nicks bracelet! That will get rid of 2 things off your list! Can’t wait to read the rest over at Sisterwives!
Yeah..it’s like an early warning signal..you always know when she’s coming.
I didn’t know blaming bitchiness on planets was an acceptable excuse…
I don’t think it is…hence the bitching. haha.
OMG this post wouldn’t have been the same without you!! Sooo glad you chimed in. You’re hilarious, as usual. xo
awww..thank you, gorgeous!! That makes my day.
Congratulations, Michelle! I’m guessing it felt pretty awesome to have been asked to contribute to that fabulous site. I loved both of your pieces. Where on earth did you find that Panty Lines song?
Pet peeve of mine: When people donate crap food and clothing to those in need. The other day my son said they were having a contest at school to see which team could collect the most food to donate to “God’s Pantry,” and that their teachers told them to have their parents dig way back in their cupboards for cans goods they know they’d never use. (The prize for the team that collected the most was a pizza party–guess you’ve got to motivate middle schoolers somehow). Food donations should not be comprised of what people would throw out if they cleaned their pantries! People need to try to make something edible out of that stuff. And you should not donate stained or ripped clothing, either…you know, the kind of clothing you wouldn’t give as a hand-me-down to a relative or friend’s kid. These charities are meant to help people who are struggling, not provide a convenient way for those who aren’t to get rid of their crap.
I can’t stop at just one, either! Another thing that drives me crazy is when your kids bring friends over who don’t talk to or even greet you. I know kids can be shy around adults they don’t know, but if they can’t even make eye contact with you when they come in your house, have some snacks, and head upstairs to hang out with your kids by the time they are teenagers, their parents are doing something wrong.
Woo! Thanks for letting me rant.
ANY TIME!
And yes…why would people give their left over crappy shit to people who have nothing….and those same people will get all shitty about it saying people should be grateful…for their creamed corn from 1998?
It’s also worth noting that the pantries will throw out the expired stuff too. If it’s past the date, it’s past the date. The teachers should be educated, because seriously it’s just waste of time for the pantry to deal with expired stuff. (We had the representative from the local pantry come to Girl Scout camp this summer, and she talked about this.)
I have no idea why people think donating expired shit is helping anyone.
I will hop over to sisterwives to read the post. Love this one. I love that you swear on your site.
Hahah..I just write like I talk.
Mercury retrograde? Lamest. Excuse Ever.
And now, off to the Sisterwives.
Right?? I don’t get it.
I think I’ll start blaming Mr Potatohead.
Went & read – my favorite: “I find it a travesty that time and effort have been put into developing something as ugly as Crocs.”
So true. So, so true.
My sisters wear Crocs or socks with sandals when we’re together because we all live to bug each other.
I hate it when people explain their bitchiness away through astronomy. You want to be a bitch, own it. I know I do when I’m being one. PS I think you swear even more than me. I just subscribed.
Yay!! I love new subscribers!!!
I do swear a lot..it’s like a tea kettle letting off steam.
Well done you!
Mercury in retrograde. pfft!
I had a co-worker like that
I wanted to ‘mercury in retrograde’ her!
But that wouldn’t be nice.
And I am a Libra, and Miss Cleo knows that Libra’s don’t like confrontation and want everyone to play nice.
grrrr!
Hahah..thank you!!!
Oh, “chapped chakras” is a wonderful phrase. I’ll have to find a way to use that. 🙂
I’m glad you noticed that..I was proud of it.
I’m off to see what else other ladies in the same caliber of as you talk about !!!
Have the best day !
Me xox
I think you’ll like it! xo
*whispers* Astrology bugs the ever-living fuck outta me.
I saw a GREAT one posted by that ‘I fucking love science’ group on facebook, which was all
“Aries – The movements of the stars and planets have no impact on your life
Leo – The movements of the stars and planets have no impact on your life
Cancer – The movements of the stars and planets have no impact on your life
Virgo – The movements of the stars and planets have no impact on your life”
…and so on. I whooped and cheered on the inside.
And I totally thought of another thing while I was scrolling through your comments section, and now I’ve forgotten again, which pisses me off in its own right, quite frankly.
With regard to looking after the poor and the needy, I’m about to write an entire guest post rant about that, loosely guised as a ‘Considerings’ thing, because a thing happened recently which gave me a HUGE pause for thought.
I still can’t remember the other thing.
Bollocks.
I can’t WAIT to read it.
And I really want you to remember. Dammit….
Third pet peeves should never go to waste. Glad to have been treated to yours.
Good thing no one asked me to participate. I’d never have been able to stop at 3. Once you get me going on those things . . .
I was trying to stay away from the normal things I bitch about….if I had stuck with the standards, I would have written a damn book.
Not to play “Match My Pain,” but if you thing you’ve got it bad regarding the search terms that bring people to your blog, just imagine what it’s like at my place. (And by that I mean vagina.)
Oh man…I feel for you..I do. That’s gotta be disturbing.
(CLICK CLICK)
how had I never heard of the sisterwives before?!
Oh Carla, they are wonderful.
Assholes who can’t figure out how turn signals work.
Oh hell…yep…that annoys me to no end