I stole this post title from the Wanda Jackson song, Fujiyama Mama. This post has nothing to do with the song but still fits.

Friday evening, we were watching a live feed of the volcano in Iceland. Randy is nearly blind without his glasses and my eyesight is failing rapidly. Either way, we were seeing the video completely different from each other

Randy: Look at all the houses in the town.

Me: Wait. What?

Randy: All the lights, below the volcano. Those people are out there on their decks watching. I bet it smells like sulfur.

Me: I don’t think that’s a town.

Randy: Yeah, it’s the town.

Okay, so imagine if you had a birds-eye view of a town, like so far away you couldn’t make out buildings, just lights. That is what this town looked like. The volcano is huge. It would be like the town was normal size and the volcano was King Kong if King Kong were a hundred times bigger.

Me: I don’t think anyone would be sitting on their decks.

Me: Seriously, if it’s a town, then a subdivision just got destroyed.

Randy: Your perspective is just off.

Me: There goes the courthouse.

Randy: You can see cars moving over there.

Me: You can’t see shit. We have got to go to the eye doctor.

Randy: We will after next week. Because we’ll both be fully vaccinated then.

Me: The evil mayor is out in the town square saying “Everything is fine. Go home and sit on your decks and watch the volcano.”

So, I absolutely could see what he was seeing. It did look like a far away town with twinkling lights and some traffic. But there was also an impossibly huge volcano exploding over the town, so you know, that seemed off to me.

Then I noticed a flare-up at the corner of the television screen.

I got out of bed and looked closer. Of course, the lights were just streams of lava.

Me: Dude. Look at this.

Randy got up and walked to the tv, He pulled his glasses down and put his face up to the screen.

Randy: Oh yeah, that’s just lava.

Me:…

Me: This is like Christmas.

Randy: Stop.

Me: Seriously, this is better than the cupcake thing.

I’ll explain in a minute. 

Randy:…

Randy: You know what? That’s fair. This is pretty bad.

In Randy’s defense, he had a few bourbons and the hiccups.

The whole thing also made us both laugh hard enough to get on Joey’s nerves.

This is understandable because we’ve been locked in together for a year. Nerves have been frayed on a few fronts. On the plus side, after next week, all three of us will be fully vaccinated. I am grateful that we will all be safer. I am grateful that we will all be able to leave the house and get away.

Okay, so the cupcake thing. In a nutshell, over 20 years ago, we were walking through a grocery store parking lot and a version of this conversation happened.

Randy: You know what? What if a person doesn’t want a whole cake? You know, like instead they could have an individual cake. For one person. A cake in a cup.

Me:…

Me:…

Me: Yeah, cupcakes are already a thing?

So, that is how Randy invented cupcakes. In the early 2000s. I have been hanging shit on him for decades over that and now I get to add the Icelandic volcano.

I think the Easter bunny loves me.

After we came to the reasonable conclusion that what we were watching was completely volcano, we decided to add music to come up with a soundtrack. My favorite was this one. And you really have to watch the live feed of the volcano at night, Randy’s scenario really doesn’t work in the day.