I was contacted by Valerie Coles, a researcher from the University of Georgia about posting a link to a survey about parental narcissism.
Here’s what Valerie had to say:
My colleague and I are researchers at the University of Georgia collecting data for a project examining how parental communication impacts individuals once they are adults. There is presently no published scale that measures parental narcissism behaviors from the perspective of the adult child, and very little research in general. Not surprisingly, we would like to have ACONs, if they are interested, participate in our study. Participants will have the opportunity to partake in questionnaire that asks about their parent’s communication style(s) and some items that measure personality characteristics of their parent or legal guardian that they identify as a narcissist and themselves.
In addition, participants may choose to enter a drawing for one of ten $100 gift cards for participating. The entire process will require less than 30 minutes of their time (closer to 20). Of course we will keep all information confidential, so that names and other identifying markers (e.g., IP addresses) will not be linked to the questionnaire they complete. Participants who are interested in the drawing will enter an email address into the drawing – email addresses will not be linked back to the questionnaires.
Approval of the research protocol for this study was approved at The University of Georgia’s Institutional Review Board.
I took the survey last night and it didn’t even take 20 minutes. Besides, I want my chance at one of those gift cards. I mean, if we had to deal with a narc parent, the least we should get is a gift card, right?
I’m not being compensated for this in any way. I just thought it was interesting and really about time this subject started getting some more attention.
Here is the link if you’re interested. https://ugeorgia.qualtrics.
If you are qualified to take this survey, please know that I’m sending you a big, warm squishy hug. I wish that no child ever had to live with a narcissistic parent and that no adult had to live with the fear and shame and confusion that goes along with being one of the adult children of narcissists.
Maybe this will at least help pave the way for understanding and there will be help on the horizon for kids who are going through what we went through.
(FRIST??!)
oh yeah, I have to read the post too!
be right back
haha. it will be here!
I hate to admit it, but until now I didn’t understand this because I, fortunately, didn’t live it. I found this website that dummied it down for me and holy shit! What an awful way to grow up. I’m an adult child of an alcoholic myself and there are some similarities, but I have never been more appreciative of my dysfunctional youth. You deserve more than $100. Big hugs!!
http://www.lightshouse.org/the-narcissistic-parent.html#axzz3Q7CIA6bY
Thank you. I know there are degrees and comparing does no good. I have fond memories of childhood, but not many. I was anxious nearly always and still deal with that. I was known as a ‘worrier’ as a kid…I guess that’s one way to put it. haha.
Oh and thank you for the link. I think that is one of the first sites I found when I realized what my childhood was and it was so enlightening. I am looking forward to revisiting it.
Thanks for sharing this, Michelle. Off to take that survey!
Good luck!! I hope you win!
Thank you for sharing this, off to look at it now…
You’re welcome! It’s about time this subject got some research. Good luck on the gift card!
Thanks Michelle! I am going to check it out.
I took the survey and wow! very intense even though it was brief and easy.
Yeah, I think it’s asking the right questions.
Thanks for this link Michelle. I’ll certainly fill it out. Hugs back to ya!
Good luck!
I think I love you. Thank you. Reading the link now, will be back for more I’m sure. I’m an ACO2A and an ACO2N — both parents…. mmmmm fun times.
I am glad we found each other! I will take all the love I can get. 🙂
I’m in. I’m going to check it out now.
Ow. Haven’t thought about a lot of those things in a long time… *cringes a little*
Hope they come up with some kind of help for kids going through that kind of parent!
Yeah..it wasn’t difficult..but it wasn’t entirely comfortable either. I hope you win!
Me too. Because who couldn’t use a gift card? Especially if I can say ‘THANKS DAD! I won money because you suck at parenting!”
right?
HAHA! RIGHT!
That’s kind of awesome that they reached out to you.
It was and I was very happy to help.
Thanks for posting. I’m going to take the survey today!
Yay! Good luck! I hope you win!
Holy shit just answering those questions was like a mini therapy session. “H/she said things like ‘You are melodramatic’ or ‘You are hyper sensitive, it’s not that bad,'” I forgot some of those things were said to me!
Yeah, it was a little rough…
Oh my, thank you for sharing this! Going to do the survey right NOW!
Thank you! I really hope this is helpful to people in the future.
I did the survey first thing this morning, and forwarded it to my sister, uncle and cousin. I am still thinking about it. Pretty stark, to have those questions so short and spot-on. Why, yes, I do feel that my life has been a failure, now that you ask…
Yeah, it asked hard questions. Here’s the thing though, that was DONE to us. I am fairly confident in saying that you are not a failure. Now you tell me that I’m not a failure, and then let’s remind each other every fucking day.
Yep that was a tough one
It was. But hopefully it will do some good.
Thankfully this is not for me I have bloody awesome loving and caring parents
That made me smile so big! That’s wonderful!!! I hope that my kids see me as a loving and caring parent.
Michelle, you are my hero. I can tell, and I am sure your sons can, too, how important they are to you. That’s all it takes to be better than our parents.
That’s the truth…that bar is pretty fucking low. Although, I adore my mother..she had the same dad I did. It’s common for an ACON to marry a narcissist. My second husband was definitely narcissistic.
HAHAHA..well..not the SAME dad..that’s too Kentucky even for me. Just another narc is what I meant.
Oh, thanks for clearing that up.
I read the article that someone posted above and WOW… sending you big, huge hugs! And yea… you definitely deserve more than a gift card for the survey. While my childhood was not even remotely close to Leave it to Beaver, I can only imagine what it must have been like for you and others growing up with narcisstic parents.
That was the article that made me aware of so many things. It was not a good couple of days when I immersed myself in all things narcissist..but I am so glad I understand now.
I hope the study sheds some light on some things in need of it, and I hope you win the hundred bucks.
Thank you, Doug!
I had wonderful parents. A normal childhood. Sadly, I am still a damaged person with quirks and issues. And I? Have no legitimate reasons for my weirdness.
You are who you are…I like to think my adorable quirkiness doesn’t come from my crap childhood.
Thanks to Kristine for including that link. I had no idea… And now I know I’m blessed to NOT have had to grow up with a narcissistic parent in the home. Yikes.
I am so glad you didn’t. 🙂
Thank you for posting this, Michelle. I just took the survey. If I wasn’t fresh off a heartwarming talk with my husband I would probably be collapsed in a puddle of grief. The questions brought up a lot of my past and well, it just wan’t happy.
It was rough…I hope they put the information to good use.
Wow, what a fun day to discover your blog, lol! Some shrink years ago told my mother she wasn’t really a narcissist but never could figure out what she was.
This armchair psychology is pretty bad but I was thinking borderline personality. Then I read about ACON. Maybe I’m a dual winner. Oops, ACOA so triple crown. More like perfect storm.
Just discovered you and looking forward to reading more!
I am so glad you found this! Although, not glad about the ACON thing..but you should know, you have a massive tribe and we love each other. Welcome!
Thanks for the encouragement. I just googled “borderline personality narcissist difference” and wow, my situation seems pretty split down the middle to me. I worry that it’s all psychobabble anyway. Sometimes fucked up is just fucked up, you know?
So true…it really is.