Our youngest child, Joey, has been at his brother’s house for the past two days, so we have had the house to ourselves. That is something that rarely happens. We didn’t waste any time at all. We did what any happy, functioning married couple should do when they find themselves with ‘alone time’. We went out for ice cream.

There’s a soft serve place just a few minutes from our house, so we were there and back before all the sprinkles were gone from my kid size cone. The sun was shining and it was raining at the same time. Our date consisted of sitting in the car, eating our ice cream while discussing my extra toe bone.

I thought I broke my toe two weeks ago, it’s still bruised and it still doesn’t move at all. As it is my big toe, I was a little concerned as I often enjoy pivoting and not being in pain when I walk. I went to my foot doctor and got x-rays. It turns out that it is NOT broken, it’s just bruised and fluid filled, but as it turns out, I have an extra bone in my big toe. I was very excited by this news and asked the doctor if that meant I ate my twin.

Turns out, he, a podiatrist, gets asked that question ALL the time. And no, I did not ingest my twin.

Randy found this bit of information amusing and instantly named it ‘toe gate’, which led to him chanting ‘TOE GATE, TOE GATE, TOE GATE’ like John Belushi chanting TOGA in Animal House. I let him get this shit out of his system while studying the yard in the rental house next door. Their weeds were doing VERY well due to the wet Summer we’ve had.

The rain started coming down pretty hard, so that seemed like a good time to actually get out of the car. I huddled under the the eave of the garage and waited for Randy to fumble with the lock. The neighbor on the other side of us was watering the garden in her front yard. In the rain. Randy was in the house while I huddled up against the garage door, eating the rest of my ice cream and watching the neighbor water her flowers with a hose in the rain.

I actually tried to figure out WHY she would be doing this, how odd it was to water the ground with a hose when the sky was already doing a pretty good job of it. Then I realized that wasn’t much worse than standing in the rain eating ice cream watching a neighbor perform a mundane chore.

All in all, it was a successful date night. I suggest that when you find yourself alone with you wife/husband/girlfriend/boyfriend/non-gender specific life partner, you find an exciting activity to enjoy together. Eating ice cream in the rain while watching the neighbor water the yard should be at the top of your list.

Seriously, what DO you do when you get extra free time. We’re old and out of ideas.