I realize this blog post title sounds like a recipe will follow. There is no recipe. I don’t think there is such a thing as deep fried Buddha bowls. If you are searching for deep fried Buddha bowls, then I don’t know whether to admonish you or give you a high five.
Randy and I have reached an age where we have to stop fucking around with our health. I mean, we’re not elderly or anything, but it’s definitely on the horizon. Far away on the horizon. A tiny little speck. But still. Horizon.
Given our genetics, our mutual love of not working out and ice cream, it’s possible we can afford to drop a few pounds. If we can agree that “few” means “more than a few”.
This isn’t our first rodeo. We know what works for us and we know it works best when we do this together.
We spent last Sunday cooking so that we could eat healthy and avoid a restaurant that has half price appetizers and a beer menu that Randy likes. We very nearly succeeded this whole week. I’m not disappointed. So far, so good.
We haven’t given up the nearly completely sedentary life style yet, but we’ll get there. We have to because we’re goddamn falling apart. I was convinced that I needed a double hip replacement. My hips went from aching all the time to being on fire. I started rolling a tennis ball on my hips and it has tamped that pain back to manageable levels. We’re going to start doing yoga. I figure by early spring, we will either be ready for cage fighting, or parking at the back of the parking lot at the grocery.
Hahaha. Just kidding. We already park in the back at the grocery store. Because Randy is allergic to pulling in to a spot that is close to an entrance. Seriously. I know we need the exercise but not when it’s cold enough to make a penguin bitch about the weather. Of course, that won’t be a problem much longer as we apparently no longer need science and also that climate change is a hoax created by China. You have to read “China” in cheetoh sporkhand’s voice. I can’t be the only one hearing it. But enough of that bullshit. I have got to stop immersing myself all day, every day in what is happening to my country. There isn’t enough Xanax.
But I digress.
Randy and I have been looking up different recipes to try and he has been enamored with Buddha bowl recipes. We haven’t actually made one yet. I did get the quinoa. So, you know, it’s practically done.
Joey, the resident manchild, walked in a conversation Randy and I were having about the recipes we were 
avoiding making and wanted to know why it was called a “Buddha bowl”.
Randy: You pile the ingredients on top of each other and it makes a mound of food like the Buddha’s belly.
Joey: That sounds pretty good.
Randy: You know what would make it good? If it were deep fried. A deep fried Buddha bowl.
Me: You are totally missing the point here.
Randy:…
Me: You’re right. It does sound amazing.
Randy: Right? What isn’t better deep fried?
Me: I’m thinking a sweet hot sauce for dipping. Like that sauce they serve with the tempura mushrooms and asparagus at the one burger place.
So, it might take us a while to reach our fitness goals. Although, I haven’t actually purchased a deep fryer. As long as I continue holding off from doing that, we can stay on track. Ish.
And I’m going to abruptly switch gears here. Randy always gives me shit about my hard transitions and I thought it would just be easier to just tell you. I’m changing subjects.
I have a blogging friend that I got to meet in real life last spring. She is hilarious and talented and one time she touched my butt. I recently wrote a post about questions I have when I have insomnia. She answered them. So, go check out my friend Lola’s blog called Live By Surprise, you won’t be sorry.
Here are more pictures Randy took of my stuffed dog. My stuffed dog now has a friend. I have a weird husband and weird friends. Which works out so nicely for me. It’s good to have a tribe.
Spark of genius, I say.
Don’t buy the deep fat fryer.
😀
Dude is my happy smile and I LOVE seeing him get posted.
I’ve been having a helluva time staying on track with all the political shenanigans, too…
I enjoyed Live by Surprise’s analysis of your late night brain questions. It was like she went to Dream school!
Have a good weekend!
You have a good weekend too. So far, so good here.
Hmmm…. this post made me hungry for fried chicken, french fries, fried okra, fried bacon, fried eggs…. all piled up in one bowl. And this was the morning I was going to eat oatmeal and blueberries. Perhaps I will try to keep to my resolution as I”m finding any and all weight that others could be losing. Thanks as always for a great laugh…
Omg that sounds good. I want fried everything now. haha. And thank you. xoxoxo
My *therapist* told me last week I need to start exercising. Like she fucking knows what’s good for me. Damn, time for a new therapist, that’s just too much to ask.
Last night we went out. We split a Mediteranean cheese plate. Mmmmm… cheeeese. On the way home I started listing breakfast foods: Waffles. French Toast. Sausage. Pancakes. With blueberries. Hash browns extra crispy with onions. So we diverted, and went for dessert. Key Lime tart with raspberry sauce, and Creme Brulee. Happy Hubby looves Creme Brulee. Mmmmm… raspberry sauce with whipped cream.
(Insert drooling sugar coma here.)
It was a good night.
Thanks, as always, for a great start to my weekend.
Holy shit that all sounds amazing.
I love your sense of humor. And…baby steps. I’m a fan of ice cream and have just met a guy with a similar love. I fear we’re gonna get fat together!
Thank you! And I tip my ice cream bowl to you..
If it’s any consolation, I’m in the middle of the food and exercise process and it does get easier. And yoga is a god-send for stiff joints. Just stick with it.
Love the Dude adventures. Will he get into half as much trouble or twice as much with Rudy?
That is good to know because this stiffness is bullshit. And as far as trouble goes, it really depends on how much alcohol their owners drink.
You have to rinse the quinoa before you set it to boil. Sounds like an arbitrary step but if you don’t it tastes like glue! We took a couple of trips to the South where everything is fried delicious and when I came back I told a good friend I wanted to buy a deep fat fryer so I could make some of the dishes. She told me I DID NOT. Yeah she was right!
Yeah, that is a dangerous appliance to have. It actually sings to you and compels you to deep fry all the things.
This makes me sad. Because I think deep fried should be as good for you as it tastes.
But in the spirit of being a positive supporter good luck! You guys will get there. And know you’re not fighting the battle alone.
Now I should go downstairs, bypass the big screen TV and head to the exercise room.
This sucks, uh, I mean we can do it!
Well..so far today I’m winning in that I ordered pizza and have been slug like. Tomorrow is another day. haha
Let me tell you about a dish they make in Charleston, South Carolina. This is how you make it, more or less. Cook some salmon and some grits. Put the cooked grits on a plate, combined with cheese. (This is called cheesy grits) Put the salmon on top. Now, pour a bunch of thick brown gravy over the salmon and grits. Add pieces of crisp bacon. Voila! This dish is why Charleston is prone to earthquakes, tsunamis and hurricanes. If you don’t believe me, look it up, because the Internet says so. Now, that dish would also make a perfect deep fried Buddha bowl. Wouldn’t you agree?
That sounds amazing except for the salmon. I hate salmon. I’d probably try it deep fried, though.
When I still lived up in Humboldt County, we would occasionally get “Buddha Balls” (hashish) in the off-season and get fried to a crackly crunch (as opposed to our usual baked to a delicate crunch) but I don’t know if that counts or not. I do know that in the aftermath of such behavior, an actual Buddha Bowl would not have been safe from me or my friends…
OK, I don’t have any way to make this relevant to your post, but I have something I want to share with you. It’s an NPR front row video of Lucius performing the song “Dusty Trails” at the 9:30 Club in DC. I recommend that you either use headphones or decent speakers in order to enjoy what I feel is a transcendent moment in music at about 2:39 in the video “We’ll be all riiiiiight…” and of course the fan who shrieks “I love you” at about 3:50 is charming also. Really, the whole show is online and NPR did a good job of recording and presenting it, so if you get curious about these women and their band, it’s a good place to start. And as long as I’m blabbering about Lucius, Jess and Holly, the two singers, recently sang backups for Roger Waters at the shows he played in which he cast Donald Trump as the focal point in the song “Pigs” twice at the “Desert Trip” event at Coachella, and once in front of 300,000 people in Mexico, just to do it from the other side of Trump’s proposed wall. Anyway, I hope you like it:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pTyRaL1uqCA
Thank you so much for this link. This is awesome.
Okay..that definitely brought on the waterworks. I love this.
I wrote a blog post about my reset at 52 (you can read it on my blog – just skip to the “Mom Reset” post. Changing up routine is a bitch, but it can be done. Lately, I’ve found that using one of those subscription meal services is very, very useful.
First off, if you are going out to eat more than twice a week or buying preprepared food, it ends up being a wash, cost-wise. The perk is that the meals are EXACTLY portioned for two (or however many folks in your house at the moment), so there are no leftovers. The ingredients are good, and the recipes are creative. I’m not a cook, so I wanted something to help me expand my repertoire of soup and pasta salad (yes, I only make two things – but with all that practice, I’ve NAILED them). We’ve been using Sun Basket but I’ve also heard good things about Marleyspoon. It’s way easier to try new foods when someone has done all of the shopping, measuring and prep for you.
The only other advice I have is to set up an exercise routine and to keep to it especially when you don’t want to. I became a spin instructor to make sure I would show up to class. I know, I can be a little extreme in my problem solving. . . But do find something you both enjoy – even if it’s a 20 minute walk every day. And remember, sex counts as exercise!
I have actually used that service briefly for a sponsored post. Blue Apron. I loved it. I really did. I would like to start that up again, but it’s still in the future.
I would say you need to take care of yourself because the world needs people like you and Randy but let’s focus on what matters here: there needs to be a recipe for deep-fried Buddha bowls.
Deep down I think deep-fried foods must be good for us. And with all the troubles the world is facing deep-fried Buddha bowls just might be what saves us.
Think about that. You could save the world. There’s a reason to take care of yourself.
That would be an unexpected and odd turn of events, but you know..whatever works..
I still actually only have a bit of an idea what a Buddha bowl is. But now I want one. Deep fried. I bet you could franchise that…
That sounds like so much work, though.
Yes to the yoga- I need to join you. And pilates, for the pelvic floor if nothing else.
I thought that you were going to discuss throwing singing buddha bowls into a deep fat fryer. I have a very strange imagination.
As for the quinoa- honestly, it’s tasty- if you add taste. But hey, we all add ketchup to chips. And salt, etc…
Keep up the good work, and as you are doing it (exercise, healthy eating) imagine it’s to punish sporkhands oogimaflop. You will succeed.
Ohhh, now there is some incentive…
We all need a tribe – it is nice to see you have added another one to yours.
That is the cool thing about this tribe, we always have room for one more. 🙂
All of this talk about food has made me hungry. We try to eat semi-once in a while- healthy, but you know I live in the south now and they deep fry everything from macaroni & cheese to Oreos. I would kill for some Gokd Star or Larosa’s. I really NEED a steak hoagie. These people have no idea what I’m talking about!
Ha funnily enough, here in the UK it’s those in the North who allegedly deep fry everything- including Mars Bars and other confectionaries. It may of course be a myth, or just some random chipshops who offer the service. I don’t think health advisory boards approve, but it’s apparently delish.
We have deep fried candy bars here at fairs. I have had them. They. Are. Amazing.
I am a Dixie chili person, myself. I worked at a gold star for two years and I can’t stomach it. Larosa’s steak hoagies are the shit. I had one not long ago. haha.
Loved how you opened this. Now of course I must search for deep fried Buddha Bowls to see if it takes me anywhere else besides here. And I think at the end of the post, you SHOULD give a recipe just to show people that perseverance pays off when you least expect it!
You would think I would have searched that term. I still haven’t. haha. I am now, though.
I keep meaning to get in shape–for the last eight years everyone has been telling me I need to “start now while [I] can still build habits easier” but twenty-year old me paid no attention to things like the passing of time. Now I’m pushing thirty and I get winded walking up the stairs at work (it’s one flight; like twenty steps, if even that).
So, my heart’s with you and best of luck!
Thank you! And not to scare you or anything, but add another 20 years and those stairs are going to get a lot more hard.