Hate me because I will stoop to using a decades old cliche’d commercial for my blog post title.
A few months ago, I decided to go shampoo free. I was skeptical, but decided to give it a try.
I. Fucking. Love. It.
I find myself stroking my own head all the time because my hair is so soft. I’ve also gained an appreciation why cats and dogs like to be stroked. It’s fucking awesome.
Mostly, I just use baking soda and water to wash my hair and a few days a week, I rinse with apple cider vinegar and water. Hubs hates this. The smell of vinegar sickens him and I did hear him mutter the other day that he wishes I’d go back to shampoo, but he’s just going to have to accept that I’m going to smell like a salad head a few days a week.
I don’t know if it’s the change in routine that sparked this next change or not, but I decided that I am going to do something that I swore I would never EVER EVER do.
I’m going to stop dying my hair.
Yep, I’m going to go ahead and wear my gray.
My mom’s side of the family is Scandinavian. My cousins aren’t blond. They have no pigment in their hair at all, they’ve been completely white haired since childhood. My mother’s hair was more dark blond, but it turned pure white. I really wanted that gorgeous white hair…but noooo…I have to take after my dad (more proof that he fucks up EVERYTHING) and I got dark hair.
My gray is the color of tinsel. It’s sparkly! Like tinsel! My head will be like Christmas. I will have a Christmas head and who doesn’t love Christmas? Well, a lot of people. I have heard outright loathing expressed for Christmas. But that’s not the point! Hang some ornaments from my ears and put me in a green sweater and you wouldn’t be able to find me in the Christmas section at Walmart. It’s the perfect Christmas camouflage.
The only part that is at least kind of white is the hair growing at my temples. When this shit grows out, I’ll have the bride of Frankenstein look to go along with my tinsel head.
I’m working very hard at self-acceptance and I want to learn to be happy with who I am. I am a fifty year old woman who is at least half gray. I want to see what she really looks like…this woman I am trying to learn to love and accept.
I figure if I hate it, I can always go back to dying my hair.
Now, if I could just stop buying every single product I see that has ‘anti-aging’ on the box..that would be great.
Welcome to the club my dear. I am 48 and I too have stopped dying my hair. That said, I have been blessed with mostly colored hair. Thin hair that seems to be falling out by the minute mind you, but it’s still mostly my natural color with some silver “hightlights”. I have decided screw it. I am almost 50. Yeah, I have gray hair. So sue me. I earned every goddamn one, thank you very much. And same with the wrinkles. I figure I am going to accept this growing older thing. I am getting older but my little fantasy is that women who accept and embrace their age and don’t run around in a panic trying to use every anti-aging cream and face lift is more attractive. If not, well, screw it. I save money and the bullshit that goes with trying to NOT look my age. I AM my age. And one day I’ll be dead and this body will be nothing more than organic recyclable material like any other animal or living thing. I would far rather spend my time and energy enjoying whatever time I have left on this planet living and accepting what is, not trying to chase after a youth I never fully appreciated when I had it anyway. I am no Christie Brinkley, never was. I figure the bonus for not being beautiful is that I have nothing to “maintain”. LOL My personality, as warped as it may be, is all I have and it just keeps getting more warped with passing years and I am good with that. Enjoy your tinsled hair my dear! 🙂 Christmas all year long
THank you. I still find myself wavering..a little. I’m going to do it. It’s as much about curiosity as it is self acceptance.
Michelle, it’s worth a try. If you totally hate it, you can always color it again. We are at the age where we can do what we want. Color it pink or green or blue or whatever color you like. It’s just hair. I think the self-acceptance thing is a brave step and I honor you for that. It’s not always easy but it’s curious to see what we find when we run up against resistance. What do we find? What does it mean? What dos it tell us?
Well, I won’t get any from my husband. He is not a fan of hair dye and thinks it sinks through my skin and makes me sick. And he thinks gray is sexy. If there is any person on the planet who’s opinion on my looks matters to me, it’s him. And he thinks I’m gorgeous.
It does sink into your skin. My g/f had an allergic reaction to hair dye and her whole face swelled up. She tried it twice! If hubby thinks you’re sexy with gray then rock it!
That’s the plan!!!
I’ve thought about skipping the dye-job too. I would estimate that I’m about a third gray. It’s letting the gray grow out that has me nervous. Maybe I’ll let you do it first. 😉
Well, it’s gonna take a while. My hair takes forever to grow.
This is the third non-shampoo thing I read today! Do you really think it’s improved your hair? Or, I guess the question is, what was your hair like when you used regular shampoo? Hey, apple cider vinegar is a nice smell.
Sounds like you are on a great path. I think grey hair can look very attractive on some women, and if you have patches of pure white it might look very distinctive rather than odd. Good luck on your journey! Post pictures, tinsel lady? 🙂
Yes, I think it’s improved it a lot. Much softer and less fly away. I LOVE it.
My hair is longish and it grows really slow, so it’s gonna be a while..all I could post now are some gray roots.
I went shampoo free in June of 2012. Previously, I had horribly oily hair and my scalp was constantly breaking out in incredibly itchy, bleeding sores. Mega gross, right? That was with any type of shampoo, even Rx ones.
I ditched the shampoo and while my hair is still oily, no more sores and minimal itchiness. The downside is my hair tangles horribly now. Like one day is like f I didn’t brush it for two weeks (I may have had grooming issues as a child). But I don’t care because I’m a ponytail girl, and no itching bleeding sores all over my scalp!
Okay, done grossing you all out with my weird scalp!
shooot…it takes a lot more than that to gross me out. My hair has always been oily as well, and I didn’t think this would work, but the vinegar and baking soda do a fine job of keeping it in line..
I just wandered in from the Bloggess, I stopped dying my hair about 5 yrs ago, omg it was so liberating! and mine is mostly tinsel it turns out which is fantastic in the sunshine. It also improved my hair texture back to soft from chemical. I’m half way through fifty and feelin’ fine.
YAY!!! This is exactly what I’m hoping for!!!
How about this? Most of those anti-aging product, all they really do is tighten your skin temporarily to make you look less wrinkly, but in reality they’re leeching the moisture out of your skin and causing a reliance and addiction to their product, which makes you wear more that makes you look older, LONG TERM (same goes with many of the greasy feeling moisturizers, they may contain mineral oil or petroleum jelly which just dries you out while FEELING greasy). I don’t use anything on my skin any more, except sometimes coconut oil (kitchen grade).
hmmmm….coconut oil. I think I’ll try that. Might as well since I’ve gone full on hippy with my hair.
I’m not brave enough for that
>
I let it go for a couple of weeks longer than normal last month and made the mistake of having some ID photos done…some unrecognisable old woman staring back at me from those photos sent me hurtling, at great speed, to the bathroom and my hair dye
>
As for shampoo and moisturisers etc. I’ve been using none petroleum based products for years as I’m allergic to all those nasties. Making the switch made a huge difference to my hair and skin. However the idea of not using any product, even my organic,non chemical ones…hmm, maybe I’ll get brave enough a few years down the line…:-)
I’m going avoid looking at my own image for a while. 🙂
I’m glad I’m not allergic..
I’m 75% silver and 43 years old. I’m terrified to stop dying. How are you going to do it without having a dye line? If it weren’t for that I might try. My silver hair is quite sparkly.
I’m not going to be able to avoid the dye line..I’ve already got that shit going on. I’m just going to have to wait it out.
I think it’s whatever makes us feel good about ourselves. If we feel confident, sexy and okay in our own skin, then dying our hair is a choice, not a state of denial. But there is certainly something liberating for me to just say “fuck it” to the whole hype about trying to look younger bullshit. I want to look the best I can for my age. I don’t want to try to look 20 when I am clearly almost 50. I love being the age I am. I have never been as comfortable in my own skin as I am now. I still have stuff I need to work on and shit I need to let go, forgiveness I need to do, but overall, I am loving this age. My kid is grown up and doing awesome, my biological clock has stoped ticking, I don’t have to pretend to be anyone I am not because I don’t care about pleasing everyone anymore like I used to. I can start to look at a career that is about ME and what I want to do instead of what is sensible and stable because I have a kid to raise on my own and a mortgage pay for a house in a good neighborhood to raise kids. I can start to be selfish again and think about what I want and what lights me up. I am still trying to figure out who I am exactly, but I have the chance to do that now. Now the masks can come off and I can put on my comfortable stretchy pants (figuratively and literally)and breathe comfortably. It’s awesome, gotta say.
OOh, brave, girl! I’ve been coloring my hair since I was about 26 because my mom bequeathed me her family’s “let’s all be grey by 30” hair. Plus my hair is past my butt, and looong grey hair…well, I’m not ready for that yet.
What I have found interesting, when it does grow out, is that I’d be totally Cruella DeVille and I don’t mean *sort of*. I mean–all-out: HALF MY HEAD (the right side), from the part over, is solid grey. The other half, from the part to my left ear, is more or less still fairly dark. wtf?
I think it’d be hilarious, and my friends think it would be dramatic and wonderful, to let it go. But I can’t. My face is holding up because I’ve slathered it with tons of stuff day and night for 22 years straight, but I can’t do the hair yet. I’m afraid I’ll look like my husband is out with his–mom–or something (He still looks 30s).
Hat’s off to you. Let us know how it goes and what you think! I love that it’s sparkly, too. I think if I had sparkly silver-tinsel hair, I’d probably thread some twinkle lights into it and definitely do the ornament earrings.
😀
hahaha..cruella…I bet that would look awesome though. I wish mine was doing that.
Long grey hair is so beautiful though! I hate when women go grey and then chop off their hair. 🙁
I am interested in this baking soda business. Although by now you’d think I’d have learned not to mess with my damned head. I did one of those Pinterest things with some eggs, and some apple cider vinegar, and maybe some other stuff…I don’t really remember, but it seems like I was out of something and used something else and it was just a disaster. My mom went all gray and it is long and thick and just beautiful. When I’m 50 I’m going to stop dyeing it. Maybe.
It’s simple..I just mix a few drops of lemon essential oil (for scent, it isn’t necessary) with a few tablespoons of baking soda mixed with a cup of warm/hot water (I’m not precise in these measurements). I work that through my hair and let it sit for a few minutes then rinse it out and follow with sulfate free conditioner. A few days each week, I mix about a quarter cup of apple cider vinegar with 3/4 cup hot water (again, not precise) and follow the baking soda with the vinegar and let that sit for a few minutes then follow with conditioner.
I’m 51 and quit dying my hair about 6-7 yrs ago…while it was still very short and it showed my grey prominently.
Best part of going natural grey with my naturally dark brown hair…I see my narcissist father visibly cringe every time he sees the grey, he can not stand it. I think it makes him face his own mortality but that’s his problem not mine.
hahaha…THAT. IS. AWESOME!!!
That is SO great!
When I moved to a new state seven years ago, I decided to cut my hair short and let it go back to natural color (whatever that might be). My mother had this cool gray streak in her hair and I was hoping I would have that as well. Not so much — my hair was totally salt and pepper gray (more salt than pepper)
Still, I decided to “grow old gracefully” — until I went to orientation at a new job. I sat at a table with two other women (who were several years older than me, but they both had no gray and were in great shape). They got to flirting with a 19-year-old boy at the same table and asked him to guess our ages. Poor thing…he guessed that I was the oldest one at the table…about ten years older than I really was.
At that moment, I decided “Fuck growing old gracefully!” I came home and dyed my hair again, let my hair grow out again, and started going to the gym. I may be over 50, but by God, I’m not old yet! I do it not for the people I work with, not for my husband, but for ME!
That being said — I totally support your decision! You have to do what works for YOU. That is one nice thing about being a gal in this day and age — we can try whatever we want and always change our mind later!
oh, trust me…if I hate it or it makes me feel bad..I will cover that gray back up without a second thought. 🙂
That IS the great part of being this age – we can do whatever we like. If we want gray hair, colored hair, green hair or no hair – we have earned the right to have it. No more needing anyone’s permission or approval. I can hardly wait to be in to my 60s, 70s and 80s. The older I get, the more freedom I feel to be as “me” (some may say odd) as I want to be.
Wonderful. I love the idea of your Christmas tree head. I may have to try the baking soda and acv. My hair gets so brittle and flyaway in the winter. Can’t hurt!
It’s working out so much better than I thought it would. I also use the no lather shampoo (Wen) but only once or twice a week. In any case..no lather at all.
I am 37 and have not dyed my hair in a long time, and I call the grey my tinsel highlights! I am not convinced that I will never dye it again, but I am happy with it for now. I do wish it would come in as a grey streak instead of the randomness I have going on, but it is what it is, I guess.
! I’ve heard about people using this concoction on their hair– it really works?! How do you do it??? Do you put dry baking soda on your head then get under the water? Or do you make a paste in your hand? Teach me…
Okay, it’s easy and I don’t do precise measurements. Approx. 2 tablespoons of baking soda with around 7 drops of lemon essential oil (mostly for scent) with about a cup of hot water…mix it up, work it through your hair and let it sit for 3 – 5 minutes, then rinse. I follow with sulphite free conditioner. about twice a week, after the baking soda, but before the conditioner, I mix about a 1/4 cup of apple cider vinegar and 3/4 cup of water and work that through my hair and scalp and leave it on for a few minutes. You would not believe how much that softens your hair and it makes it super shiny. My sister in law gave me some of her Wen product (lather free hair cleaner/conditioner) which I use when I don’t feel like fucking about with the baking soda and vinegar. I’m not precise at all. And if it feels kinda extra oily, I do make a paste out of the baking soda and work it in around the scalp. I learned to definitely follow with the vinegar rinse or it dulls your hair up a bit with that much making soda.
I don’t think I’ll ever go back, it’s feeling better than it ever has.
Go for it! I stopped dying my hair years ago. My husband also thinks the grey is sexy. It also makes life so much easier because I could never manage a suitable coloring schedule anyway.
And frankly, I think its pretty.
My husband was disappointed the last time I dyed it…he said he was really digging the gray..
Michelle, I just LOVE this whole thread! I am about to be 54, and stopped dying my hair about 2 years ago. I was dark blonde/light brown (I thought) but had gotten pretty heavy highlights for YEARS. I was sick of the chemicals, sick of the cost and wanted to simplify my life. Turns out my hair is actually a really nice dark brown, who knew?? But I have silver mostly around my face, which really looks great. I also have gone really short, which works for me. I have dry hair in 2 1/2 minutes. 🙂
As you mentioned, my husband LOVES my letting my hair go natural. He thinks it just projects my self-confidence and to be honest, I have lost weight naturally, gotten fit, and haven’t looked better in years.
I really think that with a certain age comes the desire and the confidence to be your authentic self, and though I still have issues to work through and life changes I still want to make, I am more comfortable in my own skin than I have ever been.
Cheers to being naturally *hot*, at any age!
It’s great, right? I didn’t think it would take turning 50 to finally start digging the person that is me. I still have a way to go on body image, but I’m making some pretty impressive strides. 🙂
You go girl! 🙂 It IS great!
Oh I SO meant to mention…my narcissistic mother is 87 and STILL dying her hair blond. In the assisted living…as if anyone thinks that’s natural. Sigh…I continue in my quest not to be her.
My grey hair is not the pretty silvery kind. It is a flat, lifeless grey that makes other people say, “are you feeling alright? ” If it reminded me of tinsel i would give up the hair coloring in split second. Based on you and Deb, I’m going to try the baking soda thing instead of shampoo. Thanks for the idea, and the how-to instructions.
Cool! Let me know how it goes. I love it. I also use some latherless shampoo a day or two each week. My SIL gave me some Wen product to try, but I think there are other cheaper products out there. I use that when I’m too lazy to mix baking soda and water. Haha.