Five Ways Menopausal Women Are Like Daryl Dixon

I’m upset with The Walking Dead writers at the moment. We haven’t seen enough of the emotionally unavailable badass with a crossbow since the Winter break.

I call bullshit on this.

I already know from my comic book geek people that the series deviates from the graphic novels, so there is no excuse for not having a little more face time with Daryl.

Then I thought, you know…menopausal women are a lot like Daryl Dixon.

1. Daryl is volatile. You just don’t know what you’re going to get with Daryl. Shoot him in the head? He might dismiss it with a hand wave and a tiny little threat. He also might get drunk and burn a house down. Same with menopausal women. For instance, suppose you decide it’s a good idea to behave in an annoying manner to a menopausal woman. It’s possible she will find the humor in the situation. It’s also possible she will burn you down. Best advice? Shhhhhh.

2. Daryl isn’t afraid of tears. If shit goes down, we’re going to cry.

3. If Daryl is eating, then he’s eating. It makes no difference to Daryl where he is, he’s licking his fingers. Perhaps, we menopausal women will behave polite in public. If we are home and by ourselves and there is no clean silverware? We will eat that pudding cup with our fingers.

4. Daryl’s coping mechanisms. Daryl may not deal with stress in the best possible way, he has his limits and when he reaches that limit, Daryl needs down time.  We menopausal women have our limits. At the end of our rope is a cocktail glass. Or maybe a cupcake.

5. Even if when he’s crabby, Daryl gets shit done.  He kills the zombies, he hunts dinner and he comforts the baby. All while being slightly sweaty. Menopausal women? Exactly the same. Except for the zombie part. We’re also more than slightly sweaty.

Okay, you bloggers who are always using gifs in your posts….this is fucking exhausting.

Fine..menopausal women are nothing like Daryl Dixon. This was just an excuse to look at Norman Reedus pictures all evening.

 

 

 

84 Thoughts.

  1. If only we could face menopause with a crossbow. Having one of those on prescription would probably be a lot more helpful than HRT! I’m fairly convinced that repeatedly stabbing zombies in the head might be quite therapeutic too. Thank you for sharing the opportunity to gratuitously look at Norman Reedus, it did me the power of good.

  2. Not menopausal yet, give me a few, but I can attest PMSing women are much the same. Why just this past week I wanted to kill something and burn something down.

  3. I can believe menopausal women kill zombies. In fact I believe the reason there are so many zombie shows and movies these days isn’t because zombies can be fairly cheap to make and also play on our darkest fears about death. It’s because there really are zombies out there and there’s an army of menopausal women out there keeping us safe.

    Also I would never want to argue with a menopausal woman, but I don’t believe they eat pudding with their fingers. I believe they use Ghirardelli chocolate squares as utensils.

    • It really was…

      Randy: What are you doing?
      Me: Writing a blog post
      Randy: It looks like you’re just looking at pictures of Daryl
      Me: Well..it’s for a blog post.

  4. When I was going through menopause, one morning I had a sudden urge to throw my (full) coffee cup at my husband’s head. I seriously considered doing it. Now I sit here and wonder . . . How awesome would that same fantasy be with a CROSSBOW?!

  5. LOVE W/D! Love Daryl too *swoon! Your comparisons should be considered educational imo. Print ’em up and send ’em out to all the poor unsuspecting men out there. It could very well, single-handedly save the marriages/partnerships threatened by men not recognizing the signs and how to approach said threats. 😉
    Don’t worry about the gif’s…put your energy into saving marriages. *I dislike gifs…they are distracting…but for him I can make the excuse 🙂

  6. Thanks for the yummy Daryl gifs. I think poor Daryl is still getting over the loss of Beth, plus he feels really uncomfortable in Alexandria–he’d never have been in a place like that before the apocalypse. I’m just waiting for him to relax enough to take a shower and maybe get a haircut so we can see his handsome self again. It’s hard to fantasize about him when he’s so dirty and probably has opossum guts on his clothes. It’d be awesome if we got to see his ass while stepping into the shower the way we saw Rick’s, wouldn’t it? I’m sure it would do my menopausal hormones more good than giving me a crossbow.

  7. So true about the gifs! I know it’s all hip and groovy and I like to look at gifs separately, but if they’re all over a page like that it gives me seizures. Still enjoyed the post though 😉

  8. You are making me very, very happy that my menopause was relatively mild. While that statement might make you want to take a crossbow on me 🙂 I am grateful that it never came to ANY of this while I had the “worst” of my symptoms. And where do you live? I want to stay far, far away!!!!

  9. Hubby and I wish we could get into Walking Dead, but we’ve tried a few times and we just can’t for whatever reason. I think we were just super-jaded by zombies and the last good zombie-thing I saw was Shawn of the Dead (and 28 Days Later)…

    I think we’re on vampire-spoofs now… 😉

  10. I am not quite menopausal yet (give me at least another decade would ya?) but holy shit do I have my angry, hormonal moments. Hand me wine, a burrito from Chipotle and my laptop and leave me the fuck alone when I’m cranky and have had enough.

  11. I don’t think the world would be at all safe if I got a crossbow on prescription and I’ve not even hit the menopause stage yet. I wonder if that would make a good case for the defence, that you thought they were a zombie?
    I seldom wish I had a TV but I think I’d like The Walking Dead

  12. Crossbows are over rated. Briana has a compound bow she got from her dad that is so strong we’ve only found one guy who can bend it. It’s like a safety mechanism, you have to really consider whether it’s worth it or not while you’re trying to pull the arrow back…

  13. I LOVE Daryl Dixon and I totally agree with the comparisons, i’d happily kick some zombie ass at times, though I don’t think my fella would fare very well if I had access to a crossbow! *goes back to drooling at huge Daryl + crossbow poster*

  14. Yes to all of this, even if this was just so we could look at Daryl. Which I thank you for, by the way. I hope he showers soon, and cleans his hair. I would be a serious threat to walkers this week, let me tell you.

  15. I love this! I love Daryl. He does not give a fuck! He’s like, “today, I’m gonna be a sexy father figure,” then, “fuck that mess, I’m gonna eat a possum, AND I’m not gonna shower.”

  16. You know what you should do? Donate a unit of whole blood and THEN read the post with a bunch of moving gifs. You will not need that cocktail you were planning on. I’m going to go lay down now.

  17. Haha I fucking love you! It’s true. Or I also just want it to be because I love him so much. I actually own a “If Daryl Dies, We Riot!” T-shirt. The gifs were worth the effort, btw, because ARMS.

  18. HAHAHA I just actually used a gif in a post and just no. But I loved this one, and YES, on all counts. Especially the burning stuff down. I’ve had days where I feel like the crazy comes through right when you don’t expect it–Like:

    If one more person asks me for ONE MORE EFFING THING I AM GOING TO BURN DOWN THE KITCHEN AND POSSIBLY GO SIT IN THE SHOWER WITH THE WATER RUNNING WHILE I SIMULTANEOUSLY LAUGH AND CRY FOR AN HOUR.

    Thank you for always making me laugh!!

  19. I typically enjoy the opportunity to look at Norman Reedus picture, especially when he’s all got up as Daryl. It’s a shame I got done with The Walking Dead last season (a season ago? whatever). I finished the Woodbury season, then when the new one started, I watched twenty minutes of it and turned it off. Haven’t gone back, and I guess I won’t. I don’t even mind spoilers for it; that’s a definite sign I’m not going back. I HATE spoilers. They do, in fact spoil things for me, because when I learn one I wait the entire time to see/here the thing which was spoiled and it just ruins the experience.

  20. I can’t use gifs or see too many of them — gifs make my eyeballs all crazy. I’ll be “watching” like you would a TV show and then suddenly, things change and it repeats, and then it does it again, and again, and again – all in the space of 2.3 seconds or something. If that’s not a migraine trigger, I don’t know what is! Also, I’m a disgrace to menopausal women everywhere – I haven’t watched the last two seasons of Walking Dead and, from what I am told, they are the best ever. I feel a binge coming on.

  21. Heheheh*snarfGIGGLE*heheheheh*guffaw*

    I love this post with all my hormone-fueled snarkery.

    Now, I have seen exactly one and a half episodes of TWD, but I am an internet hain’t, and I know his memes.

    Thanks for the giggles, ma’am. I truly appreciate it. 🙂

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