Or something like that.
I am sitting in a new place way too early on the Fourth of July.
Writing takes place in the bedroom. I write on my piece of shit laptop while laying amidst bunched up sheets, pillows, remotes, and sometimes, embroidery projects. The TV is playing and it’s either something Randy wants to watch or if he isn’t in the room, then something I find comforting and familiar is playing as background noise.
I can always tell when I’m most anxious or stressed when I choose to watch Buffy or Angel. Same with being sick. If I’m really sick then I want to read The Stand. For comfort.
Well, Randy and I talked about an issue I’m having. My issue is I’m not getting writing work done that needs to be done. I’m fucking around on social media, I’m avoiding writing my book proposal because I am still not sure what I want to say.
We decided that I needed to drag myself out of bed and sit at a real desk with a real chair and perhaps the change would help me focus.
So here I am. I have a plastic table, a folding metal chair and a big, blue paper Chinese lantern right above my laptop screen. The string of Chinese lanterns is draped across a poster of Elvis Costello that Randy retrieved from a dumpster behind Peaches record store back in the early 80s.
I don’t feel right. For one, this chair sucks. I need a decent chair.
I also miss Sam and Dean in the background. Or the doctor. Or Sherlock.
Plus I’m sharing this space with Randy. He keeps talking to me, you guys. Sure, he’s talking to me about my projects and helping me get material together for the reading I’m involved with on July 17th. Still, Sam and Dean Winchester never ask me questions when I’m writing a blog post.
He’s also bugging me. He turned in his chair and faced my back.
Me: Dude, really?
Randy: What?
Me: You can’t just sit there and stare at me. If I’m going to move in here to get more work done, then you can’t make this more difficult.
Randy: Look at the way I’m sitting. I have no other place to look. Should I stare at the ceiling instead? I’m just sitting here listening to music.
Me: Well, it feels like you’re looking over my shoulder.
Randy, swiveling around to his desk but leaning completely over the right side of his chair: There, is this better?
Me: Yes. And you are going to hurt your neck sitting like that in your chair.
Randy: I would turn around and answer you, but I don’t want to get accused of staring.
Me:…
Randy: Can I look at you later?
Me:…
Randy: Maybe you could make me a schedule.
Me: I am going to stab you to death and turn your skin into lampshades.
Randy: That’s a little harsh, don’t you think?
Me: Joey was just downstairs talking about The Silence Of The Lambs with his friends.
Randy: Yeah, I get that.
Me: Do not start making Hannibal Lecter noises.
Randy:…
Me: Cut it out.
Randy: What?
Me: I hear you thinking about making Hannibal Lecter noises.
The truth, though, is this: I am going to get more work done here. I’ll get a pillow for my chair. Randy talked to me in the bedroom when I worked in there as well, it’s not like anything really changed. Other than my location. I’m just anxious because I am changing and sometimes even small change freaks me the fuck out.
Plus, Randy controls the jukebox. Sooner or later, I’m going to call bullshit on this. That will be a struggle. Randy is a giving person. Randy is fair and sweet and usually puts the needs of others in front of his. Unless it comes to chocolate and music. If there is a dessert and there is only one piece left, he won’t split it and save half for me, motherfucker is gonna eat the whole thing. When it comes to music, he’s going to dictate the playlist.
He will vehemently disagree with this and say whenever he makes play lists he ALWAYS picks a bunch of songs I love. What he does though, is he picks bands that he thinks I like (usually right about that) and then randomly picks songs by that artist. Not the ones I like, just random songs. This is the extent to which I get to contribute to the music. For now.
So far, other than my ass aching from this cold metal chair, the change to the new space has been productive. I have written two blog posts and decided which pieces I am going to read at my event in a few weeks.
Now.
To outline that book.
Yeah.
If Randy’s desk and chair are way more comfortable than yours ? Swap when he’s not looking !!! A girl must be comfortable and you do need to be focused
Hell that’s Your excuse !
and your ass hurts,
no good for the brain xx
Hahah..he would notice. And I did give him his chair for Christmas…
…and I did offer my chair to you. You can have it anytime you please.
You know..when you’re sweet it makes it hard to bitch about you.
You can do it, Michelle! 🙂
I read this with amusement, because I’m also trying to write my book proposal/outline, etc. Carry on!!
Good luck!!
Thank you!!
I hate having to write in an unfamiliar place! When I travel for work it takes me 3 longer to get words down than at home …. ideas come more easily because there is so much new stimulus, but less focus. Good luck with the book outline!
Thank you!
Bless… I have outlined my book and every time I look at it i add to the already 7 page outline. Sooner or later, at this rate, all I will have to do is fill in with fluff. I write at work. Believe it or not… there is no time at home so I write at the only place I rest… at work.If I ever get published I will have to write my boss a check for all the time I used that he paid me for. If I could only nap here !
That’s what I did at my old job. This job>? Not so much.
Definitely make yourself comfy, I know this to my cost that sitting in the wrong chair at the computer wrecks my back and bugs me so I get less done.
I hate people being behind me so I totally get that. I feel their presence even if I can’t see them and it is creepy and distracting.
You will get there.
xx
I WILL get there! I finally just wrote some chapter titles..just redoing that helped a LOT. I have something to work with now.
I’m torn on this. On the one hand, objectively I know that I write better when I’m sitting at a desk or table. But I’m also far more comfortable when I’m sprawled sideways on my bed, and I have more fun writing that way. Either way, I could totally get behind turning certain people into lampshades. (Yeah, I’m making Hannibal noises.)
Hahah..and human lampshades go with EVERYTHING!
I want you to give yourself permission to be successful…and comfortable…find a better chair and everything will fall into place.
Yes…That is what I need. To give myself permission to be successful. I struggle with that.
I thought Focus was a Will Smith movie … And you’re being way prolific, numb bum or not … Now just write the damn thing already… More than your arse will thank you if you just bite the bullet and do it…
Thank you..just what I needed!
Why is it so hard to sit and write? Ugh. With social media, there’s the quick fix of interaction. Someone read me and got it or didn’t get it but that need for immediate feedback was satisfied. Writing a book takes so lonnnnggggggg. Good luck to you and good luck to me.
That is it EXACTLY!
Yay! Another step toward getting that book into my hot little hands! I’m excited for both of us!
But get a comfortable chair…for reals, you can’t be too kind to your feet, knees or butt.
Yeah..I have to get a chair. And THANK YOU!
You’ve written two hilarious blog posts at your new desk. Well, that pretty much gives it away. I would have said stick with what works, but the new desk works. Just remember what Virginia Woolf said about writers needing a room of their own. You need music of your own too.
I do! I do need music of my own. 🙂
If physical discomfort brings focus then why don’t you go lean against an old telephone pole along the highway? A plastic table and a folding metal chair. Really? They just scream “temporary”, don’t they? You are already a writer, M. I think you’re way past temporary. Don’t just make do. Respect your ass, girl. Get a fucking great chair.
HAHHAHA…respect the ass. Yes. I really do need to do that. 🙂
I thought I was the only one who read The Stand more than thirty-thousand eleven billion times.
Nope..you are not alone.
I used to do exactly the same thing; I sat in bed with the TV on in the background. It was either some reality show or MSNBC. Rachel Maddow always got my creative juices flowing. That don’t sound right. Last summer I took over the upstairs office, got a desk, a chair, and surrounded myself with all my goofy nerd shit. It’s helped. I like having a defined work space. But I still waste toouch time on social media. 😉
Yeah..you can see in my picture that I had FB up. I am getting better, though.
I love your conversations with Randy so much! The spinning in the chair with the head leaning out…omg… lol
No matter where I sit lately, I seem to be out of stories. Worst of all, today I’m having one of those weird days where I FEEL like writing, but when I sit at the keyboard with my fingers hovering…I get…nothing. zip. pleh
I gggguesssss I could go work in the yard/mow the lawn/spray the roses/pack the camper/organize next week’s yard sale/clean the house, but I’d way rather sit here waiting for something to write. Or maybe I’ll just read blogs until “Oh look, it’s dinnertime”.
hashtag no motivation
Dude…we ALL have days like that. Or at least that is what I tell myself. haha.
Actually yesterday I had a whole DAY where my brain didn’t feel connected to my body, so I just kind of laid around and stared at nothing, but today I feel normal again…
I am so glad. I’m looking forward to feeling normal.
Yes, I definitely vote for a desk and a comfortable chair to do my writing. I can’t even IMAGINE writing a word sitting on my bed with the TV on 🙂 And I completely agree that husbands talking OR staring make it impossible as well. Good luck. It sounds like you are on to something!
Thank you!!
They say that Cleopatra was the queen of that river, and they also say that she could really be a bitch sometimes… It’s hard to get just the right distractions, and sometimes when you do spectacular work, it turns out that the distractions had little or nothing to do with it. I’m a big believer in just getting on with it, but I know that’s easier said than done. I have confidence that you will succeed at this endeavor.
Thank you. I did get a little done and I feel better about it. I have a fuck ton of work to do, though.
Don’t be getting all crazy! Before you know it, you’ll have your very own office, with a real desk and an actual padded, swiveling chair that rolls! Seriously though – you deserve all of that – and even more (maybe a filing cabinet or some shit).
That’s just crazy talk!
I write from my bed sometimes but it never feels as good as my spot. I have a spot. On the couch. Call me Sheldon. I have a desk, too, but I really like my spot. I say whatever works for you and if it seems to be working, then go with it. I get the change factor. I despise change but it might be the kick in the pants you need to get working on that book thing. I’m looking forward to that one!
Thank you! I was wallowing in misery on what to do next with the book, but I think I worked through that shit. It’s just going to take a little while to redo the proposal right this time.
well I mean…you could play music too 😉 You could find random covers of songs you know he likes. Or just put the Hurra Torpedo video of “Total Eclipse of the Heart” on repeat. That’ a song I like writing too.
A book proposal, though….that’s awesome! And the idea of sitting down and getting to it is anxiety ridden, I’m sure. I mean, I’ve put off subbing my book to an agent on my list because he wants a bio too. What on earth am I supposed to put in a query bio? Srsly.
I know exactly how you feel. Who the fuck am I? I’m struggling with that whole thing as well
I need NOT TO BE COMFY when I write.
Ive started writing BENT OVER at my kitchen counter…it rocks…NOTATALL.
I get a stiff neck when I write in bed, but I really hate the cold aching ass from the chair. I got a pillow. It helps.
I can vouch for Ikea office chairs – the tall ones. And they’re way cheaper than “official” office furniture. Plus, they come in cooler colors. 🙂
ooohh…and we have an IKEA close by!