And then starting going down a hill because she is goddamn over the hill.
Okay, before anyone starts waving their arms and telling me I’m not over the hill, let me just say this: calm your tits. Hear me out.
In the past, when something new would come along, I either participated or followed. At least, I understood what was happening. New being anything that became part of our pop culture, whether it be music or fashion trends or scandals.
I have reached an age where I am just a teeny bit out of touch. Maybe, more than a teeny bit. I am not entirely sure. Learning about trendy shit is so often met with my “what the fucking fuck is this shit?” look. Then I dismiss it and move on. Or I just miss it entirely. When I’m forced to acknowledge something’s existence and know nothing about it, I fill in my own blanks. For instance, I thought Duck Dynasty was a cartoon. I found out it was a reality show when the one dude with the long beard started showing up in the news for being a racist twat monster.
Admitting one is out of touch is at least a little over the hill, yo.
Here’s the thing about the hill, though. I don’t give a fuck about the hill. The hill doesn’t mean shit. 
I like looking at life from this perspective. Do you know how much anxiety goes along with worrying about having the right clothes, shoes, car or house? It’s an anxietyfest. I love being over here, not caring much about this season’s “It” bag. If “It” bags are still even a thing. I love not worrying about advancing my career. I am happy to say “I just want to do my job and get a paycheck” and it’s totally acceptable for me to say that.
Younger people can’t say that shit. If a younger person said that they didn’t want to advance and grow in their career, that would be met with disdain. Or, at the very least, some severe side-eye. Not when you’re my age! Nope! I can say that and people say “Oh, yeah. Good for you.” I love the drop in pressure one gets for free with age. You don’t even need an AARP card for these benefits.
I can also ignore most of the trendy stuff. I did my time. I wore jackets with humongous shoulder pads. I wore ripped up jeans and off the shoulder sweatshirts. I even dabbled in acid wash. Now? I can just watch what other people wear and criticize and emulate and never have to get out of my sweatpants. What’s not to love about that shit?
As I am still an active participant in life, I can’t help but know about some of the trendy shit. I am pretty sure I’ve rolled my eyes more in the past five years than I have all my other years combined.
Here’s my over the hill take on shit I didn’t know existed until five years ago or less:
Lady Gaga – My friend at my old job, Priscilla, Queen of the Cubicle, was a huge Gaga fan. I knew nothing of Gaga. I wasn’t even sure what she looked like and I had no idea what her music sounded like. I know that I used to love hanging shit on Priscilla for liking her. Then one morning, I am driving to work and this song comes on the radio. I thought, damn…I like this. I loved the singer’s voice. The tune was catchy. The song gets to the ra ra ah ah ah part and I thought, Did she just say gaga ooh la la? She said gaga. Fuck. This is Lady Gaga. I had to go in to work and admit to Priscilla that I liked Gaga. It wasn’t easy.
Justin Bieber – I still know nothing of Justin. I know he has a song where he says “baby” a lot and he used to date someone named Selena Gomez. I also have no idea who Selena Gomez is. Priscilla forced me to know more about Justin Bieber than I ever wanted to know. On my 50th birthday, she decorated my cubicle in all Justin. Including a life size cutout. She also had my face photoshopped over Selena Gomez’s face so it looked like I was cuddling with Justin Bieber. And she posted those pictures all over the entire building. That’s how I found out about the whole Selena Gomez thing. I also, just now, had to google Justin Bieber because I wasn’t sure how to spell his name.
Shawarma – I ate shawarma last month for the first time. I have never heard of shawarma. Now, it seems that shawarma is all anyone wants to eat for lunch. If someone told me that shawarma was a new trendy name for babies, I would have believed it. I mean, I would have instantly sent a prayer to the universe that I never have a grandchild named Shawarma, but I would have believed it.
YOLO – Hell to the no. (I thought that one was dumb as well) I have lived my life in a mostly irresponsible manner. I’ve married three times. My credit score was nearly good that one time. I didn’t stop living paycheck to paycheck until early this decade and that has since changed. So I know about being irresponsible. The first time I heard Yolo, was the first time I felt my inner old lady rise up and shake her fist. What the fucking fuck you stupid motherfuckers? You can’t do stupid shit like rob a bank and claim “yolo”. That is the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard. You want to only live once in a cell? Apparently, my future old lady self is as foul mouthed as current me.
Dane Cook – He’s not funny.
Taking pictures of food and posting them online – I’m not saying you shouldn’t do it, I am saying I don’t get it. I have been eating food for years now. I never had the urge to take my 110 instamatic and snap pictures of my meal for later viewing. I mean, maybe other than some birthday cakes, wedding cake or something. Now, we photograph our normal every day meals and show them to other people. That’s weird. Also, the food pictures piss me off. They look really good and I’m hungry. I don’t feel like cooking and then I get food envy.
Uggs – I actually love Uggs. I have a pair of purple ones and they are my favorite thing to put on my feet in the winter. Winter being the key word here. I did not get people wearing heavy winter boots with shorts in the summer. Why in the fuck would anyone wear heavy winter boots in the summer? It just looked to me like they weren’t smart enough to dress themselves.
So, that’s just a few. I’m sure I could come up with more, but it’s getting late and I need a little Netflix time.
You youngsters are going to like it when you get up here to over the hill. I’ll be here waiting. The view from here is endlessly entertaining and sometimes confusing. I like hanging out here. I am not planning on going down the other side for a while.
Photo courtesy of Sylwia Bartyzel
Its 4 in the morning and I can’t sleep. I’m having a shower this weekend and I’m having so much f****** anxiety over it. I could give a list of excuses why but none of them really matter. Anyhow I stumbled onto your blog while I laid here trying to put things out of my mind and get sleepy again. Anyway I just wanted to let you know that I really enjoyed reading your stuff. Sorry to buzz off but I’m getting sleepy…
Insomnia SUCKS ASS…I hate it! I am so glad I could entertain you for a few minutes and I hope you are sleeping soundly as I type this.
First…I can’t imagine you weren’t like this twenty years ago – but I only know you now…so there’s that. And ahhhh. Eighties fashion. Thank goodness that’s over.
I similarly know very little about Gaga. Except my kid told me a joke – how do you know whether Lady Gaga is sleeping or dead?
You
Po
Po
Poke her face.
HAHAHAHHAHAHAH!!!
Ahahahaha! I told that Lady Gaga joke to my kid just now and she called me a fucking dork. Lol.
THAT is awesome! HAHAHAH. I can’t wait to tell it to my son to get the exact same reaction.
Even after you explaning I still had to ask my 21 year old son what ‘yolo’ was. I’m over the Hill as well. Lucky me!!
I like it here on this side of the hill. 🙂
Monique: I didn’t have anyone to ask!!
I ALMOST had to ask, but I was praying for some itty-bitty-clue to retain my dignity and fell right over the curb.
“You want to only live once in a cell.”
YOLO
Of course, I will always abbreviate it as YWTOLOIAC
More appropriate for Hillies.
Uh-Oh… Hillie? Hillers?
Shit. They are all short for Hillary…
Fucking timing.
Hey, Lisa K.! Better a “Hilly” than a “Trumper”, not to be confused with Thumper, the adorable bunny in Bambi. 😀
I am definitely having an identity crisis.
Not to mention my horseshoer of 20+ years and I have VERY different political views and I was a very GOOD girl yesterday.
I DID have to tell him that it was a good thing we weren’t married cuz he wouldn’t be getting any 😉
Excellent way to dodge “Farrier Fury”! You don’t want him mad at you; good ones are so difficult to find. 🙂
But I still love to wear my 10 year old ripped jeans! I am fucking never gonna give that up, no mather what anybody says.
Absolutely! And I think you’re still in style. As long as they are not acid wash.
I’m pretty sure that Bieber inhabits one of the circles of hell no matter his beauty spot cross on his neck. I flip him off with the same regularity that I flip off Hillary when they are on my TV screen. (sorry)
Ugh.
Good post though. They’re all good. Sometimes can’t identify like the makeup biz but it was still good to read.
I’m going up to see my shrink in a few so maybe next time I won’t be flipping everyone off but don’t count on it.
I am a fan of flipping people off..it’s a stress reliever.
Still flipping people off. She’s not a miracle healer, I guess.
Oh well…there is always tomorrow.
I’m going to take the stance that flipping off assholes and bitches on the TV is therapeutic.
BTW_ apropos of nothing… My shrink is hot. Big H hot. I feel like a dirty old man.
Sorry to lay that on you but I don’t have anyone else to tell. 😀 Good to get it off of my chest.
Oh, Troll…. I feel for you.
But, I say get your money’s worth… I hope she dresses hot, just for you!
My last radiologist was drop dead gorgeous and I kept the sheet over my head the whole time cuz it wasn’t my boobs he was x-raying….
I can’t go to ‘Gentleman Reviews’ because it’s like watching my sons and I can’t *shudder* think about that… *shudder*
I’m glad you could get that off your chest so your next session is a joyful one.
I still won’t be able to watch 20-something stud muffins dance to near nakedness.
Ah Yes, The View from a Hill.
The Hill.
Maybe we’re more ‘mound’ people?
See, this is why I love small town ruralocity.
(I don’t KNOW how to spell it, Spellcheck. I don’t like how you spell a different word all together and think I might change my mind about the whole structured idea behind the made-up word, so fuck off Spell-Check. )
Ignorance due to proximity (or lack of) of young people is a luxury, as well as arguing with a computer software add-on.
I like the view from MY hill 🙂
I like saying, “Huh?”
I really like NOT knowing what Shawarma is…
Thank the Linguist Gods it’s phonetic.
*George is plunking her ass down beside Lisa on The Hill*
Spellcheck has no concept of “creative word play”, which annoys the hell out of those who revel in it!
Wanna play “Say Say Little Playmate” clapping game?
🙂
*holds up hands*
*raising hands to play*
Well,okay! But, promise me we can also do “Miss Mary Mack” afterward! Haha!
*delighted clapping*
*gleeful squeal*
Yes! and Yes!!!
Michelle? Got a jump rope handy?
Feelin’ a double dutch maybe coming on…
That makes me tired just thinking about it
Don’t make me separate you two.
I’m just kidding. I’d never want to break up the fun.
ruralocity is a great word.
That’s what I thought.
Thank You, Michelle 🙂
*holds hands up so Christopher can play three way ‘Mary Mack’*
Christopher? You any good at Double Dutch Rope?
😉
The world is very big and there’s a lot of stuff out there. With the internet and all these cable channels it’s impossible to keep up with everything. The other day I said to a friend “You could just limit yourself to watching really good TV shows 24 hours a day, 7 days a week and you’d still be missing stuff.” And that’s true of everything in culture.
The question, though, is, is it better to be trendy or cool? Being trendy means always pursuing something, always changing to fit a shifting ideal set by others. Being cool is finding what you like and being content with it. If other people like it they can hang with you. If not there’s plenty of space somewhere else.
Trendy people are always going somewhere. Cool people are already there.
You are cool and have been for some time.
Saying that really calms my tits. I hope it’s done the same for you.
Oh, I love this explanation. Christopher! You actually hit it spot on and I must say, you got my tits all excited! HAHA!!! This is the same way they describe the difference between someone with true style and someone who is a fashion victim.
Me, too, Christopher!
Calm tits, and all… nice defining moment!
Thank YOU!
Cool has ALWAYS been a COOL word 🙂 🙂
It has. I have very calm tits right now.
I love starting my morning by laughing out loud! I can relate to all of the above. I still have not heard ANY of Justin Bieber’s songs, but I do know all about the trouble he caused for himself down here on his visit to South Florida. It was “breaking news”, if you can believe that. This society is so fucked up!
I would see pictures of Lady Gaga and at first, dismissed her as “another attention-seeking wanna-be”. You’d never see her face. Then, one night, I decided to watch some special of hers on TV to see for myself what all the hoopla was about. When I realized she was actually a classically trained pianist and heard her sing, I was a convert. I have a lot of her stuff on my playlist and I like her a lot. I think she’s great!
Okay, when I got to the part about the pictures of food, I burst out laughing! It makes you wonder, will these people be looking back and saying, “Ah, there’s the fried egg I had five years ago! I remember that egg!” HAHAHA!!!! What a fucking waste of pixels! But, it isn’t just food! I remember how many times when I worked down in North Miami and I’d be stuck almost every day in bumper to bumper traffic. Never once did I feel the need to take a picture so I could show everyone the traffic I was stuck in. Shit, of you live down here, you were probably stuck in the same traffic somewhere, too. No one needs to relive that! I suppose that if you post your traffic pictures immediately on Facebook, that actually could serve a purpose. It would help others realize what’s happening on a certain road and they could avoid it.
If you think the UGGs with shorts in summer is strange, I have to tell you about a pair of flip-flops I purchased about 6 or 7 years ago. At the time, the oddness of them didn’t hit me, so maybe menopause played a part in my eventual “coming to my senses”. HAHA! They’re this Australian brand, EMU—which probably explains a lot (UGGs are Australian, too)—and the flip-flops are tan leather, but the straps are lined underneath with faux shearling. It took me quite some time before I asked myself why you would need a shearling lining on FLIP-FLOPS! Does that REALLY keep your feet warmer if you wear flip flops in the winter? Okay, maybe down here it does! HAHA! But, a place like Vermont? Uh……not so much. Oh, well, what the hell! YOLO! HAHAHAHA!!!
I admit to having to look up “shawarma”. All I could think of was that wonderful song by The Knack again. I think of “My Sharona” a lot when I’m reading your posts, do you think there is some cosmic element to that? Is your blog being watched over by the spirit of Doug Fieger? (May he R.I.P.)
HAHAHAH..fur lined flip flops? That’s hilarious!
They sell them in the UGG shop here too 🙂
And Randy is ‘making’ (strongly advising a twice a week regular activity log) her post on Thursdays!
I was already looking forward to this last night!!
Fair warning: My friend looked up Shawarma… you don’t want to know… anyway I didn’t and I am accepting my role as ‘Protector.’
♪♪ ♪♪ Na-nanah na nah-na… My Sharona ♪♪ ♪♪
Hahaha..now that song is stuck in my head
I recently found your blog through a friend. I love my friend.
I was highly entertained but mostly relieved to know that I’m not alone and there is someone else in this world who thinks like me. That could be scary though.
I love the freedom that “Over the Hill” brings, but sometimes I’d like some “youth” back with my “hill” wisdom. However I realize the perils a “wise youth” would encounter. The Hills would probably kill it. I like where I am. Thank you.
Keep up the great work!! Can’t wait for the next one!!
I dunno..I don’t think we’re scary. I haven’t taken a poll, though. hahaha
My thought on the fuckin hill is I’m on top of dirt and not under it so kiss my ass youngsters! My piss me off trend is Victoria’s fuckin secret! Who put this bitch in charge of how are kids dress! Fuckin PINK words plastered on there asses down there legs, big VS signs across there chests which are pushed under there chin because Wah la it’s a push-up. Don’t get me wrong I could use one of these chin enhancers, but not $112, I will just wear compression socks to do the same! Victoria’s Secret is probably a dude and he designs all this shits to torture us!
That would not surprise me at all.
OMG! I found you through a post of your “what to wear in your 50’s” article and I freaking love your blog! I’m 46, I dye part of my hair blue (not old lady blue, electric blue), rock whatever I want to wear and recently moved into a 55+ community because I wanted the villa with the beautiful pond view for an awesome price and a pool without tons of screaming kids. My SO and I plan to get a golf card and pimp it out and drive around with the dogs shaking things up. ;-D You are awesome and exactly the kind of person I need to remind me as I head toward 50 that I can just keep being me and enjoy the stuff that come with that.
I have to admit, I do know everything you posted, but then, I teach design for college and HS so it keeps me more plugged into all that crap. 😀
I am so glad you are here!!!
Yup, the view is pretty good from the hill. You do see farther because the air is different. It’s thinner and cleaner, I believe, due to its dearth of fucks, as the residents of said hill have no fucks to give. We’ve climbed out of the valley of “I gotta keep up” where you constantly look over your shoulder and stress about imagined judgement. I’m up here watching my kids down there, and despite my shouts of “It really DOESN’T matter!” they are in no position to begin their ascent. It’s not their time, you see. And anyway, sometimes I have to yell down to them, “WTF does YOLO mean???!” and other similar inquiries. Being “over the hill” should mark achievement, an earned place; it’s a privilege to be here. The “hill” of course, is the mountain of crap you’ve experienced/endured all through your life up to this point. Every one of us conquering that hill is much better off in so many ways, we just don’t always look it cuz that climb can be a bitch. When I look at younger people, I secretly hope that, for their sake, they get to make the climb one day too. I prefer to think of myself as “up the hill.” I don’t like to think I’m falling down into an abyss. I’m gonna hang out too; maybe we’ll party a bit, commiserate now and then. Maybe we’ll binge-watch Grace and Frankie (nope, did that yesterday). It’s not perfect, but the company’s cool.
I love this comment so much that I kind of want to lick it.
Was just talking to the son about this…getting over the hill and not caring what other people thought. He cant wait to get to his 50’s…..
i agree with you on YOLO and food pictures and facebook posts and everything else….but as I work with a bunch of young people I do get loads of updates on whats happening out there in the ‘young’ world
yeah, I know what I know from my kids or younger people at work.
What the hell is shawarma?
Mediterranean food. It’s pretty good.
Thank you! Me too 🙂
omg! I don’t know what yolo is……I am that far over the hill.
(off to google).
Hahah…You Only Live Once.
I am here to help.
It is a pretty groovy hill! I talk a lot about women sitting on the banks of the river D’Nile about menopause and getting older. There is only so long before a big ole tidal wave comes and reality happens!
The waves ALWAYS come, don’t they?
I like being over the hill better than being a flatlander… Just don’t call me a hillbilly. Your picture of the hill with the fence reminds me a lot of where I used to ride motorcycles when I was a kid.
Hahah..nope..no hillbilly for you. We have all the hillbillies in my part of the country.
I had a similar awakening about a week ago when I blurted out, “who the fuck is Brie Larson” in a pizza shop–someone on a gossip TV show going on and on, my frustration boiled just at the moment of one of those infamous lulls. Nothing like mortifying the children, but seriously–do I need to google this bitch?
Schwarma is good but you would have to have known some Syrians, or patronize a Syrian restaurant, until a certain once drug-addled actor in a robot suit craved some while fighting aliens side by side with a God from Australia. So don’t feel bad, this culture is cryptic as hell.
YOLO was already past being a thing when my kids told me about it. I thought it was inspiring, having grown a little complacent of late, but when I nodded grimly and curled my bottom lip under my top lip and muttered, determinedly, “that’s right, motherfuckers, YOLO!” they just said, “no, dad. it’s over.” Well, shit. I still think it, though. They can’t take that from me.
GAGA is extra hot because when you look at her you see she’s not really that hot but then, wait, she’s just some normal chick beneath the make-up and the meat suit, except that she’s got this “aura” of hot. Hot meaning sexy and hot meaning “of the moment.” She’s undeniable.
Bieber. Shame on you.
As for the Uggs, well, I’ve proven in a hundred ways that I can’t be trusted with nice things. I’d spend all day fretting about getting all that suede muddy.
Finally, you’re not old. It’s just that THEY are pupal. Blind, wriggling worms.
Who the fuck IS Brie Larson?
Omg this thread is so funny! When I turned 50 this year, not gonna lie, it stung a little, but what the hell can I do about it! I would like to join this awesome Hill People tribe, you all seems to have a great outlook on it. I also have no clue who Brie Is!!
40 was the one that bothered me. I FUCKING LOVE my 50s. I think they’re great. Other than some physical stuff..that part sucks, but the rest is awesome. Welcome to the tribe!!
YES YES YES – I love the view from the hill I’m on too. Especially after getting 8 hrs UNINTERRUPTED sleep last night – man I think I died and went to heaven !!!!
YAY for Friday – best day of the working week xox
I am not quite to Friday yet, but I am right on your heels, sister. XOXOXOX
Eye brows.
What’s with the obsession with them?
I know! Eyebrows are such a thing now.
Not having a TV makes me really out of touch with all that is trendy and that suits me just fine. I think I’m sliding into grumpy old womanhood with great ease! 🙂
I have managed to avoid the Bieber and didn’t know what a Bruno Mars was until I was at college and forced to listen to it for production study purposes. Truly horrible, I don’t like either of them but I’ve also discovered there are worse things…Slipknot for a start. If I never have to listen to them again it will be too soon!
I loved my Uggs, they were a much loved present which I wore out so now I have fake ones, which are almost as good, but am I wearing them in summer? Hell no, summer is for sandals, in my case Birkenstocks in a variety of colours and stuff people who don’t like them, I don’t like being uncomfortable, so it’s Uggs in Winter and Birkies when it’s not freezing cold or raining.
I heard someone say TBH in conversation the other day and it irritated the living daylights out of me…I’m definitely getting old,
As for clothes, I don’t care if they are trendy or not, as long as they come in black or purple and covers up the bits I don’t want to flash to the world, if they have skulls on them all the better 🙂 I’m so not a girly girl
I love your style.
Ooh and I forgot my fab DMs, my aunt bought me some for my B’day last month, they have goth girls on them, stuff being 50! 🙂
Hahahah that is awesome! I have no idea what DMs are, though.
I don’t think he’s funny either.
I tried. I really did. He bored me.
This is sincerely, genuinely, most assuredly my favorite, most relatable post of anyone’s in a long long time. I felt you on most of this (but I still don’t know what shawarma is — what the hell?). I think that was Ross’s real last name on Friends, ha.
The best feeling in the world is not giving a shit — not that thing where you’re trying to pretend you don’t, but when you really don’t. I have arrived 🙂
They were talking at work about this big promotion for me that involves a lot of overseas travel, and all I could think was, dude, I want to gear DOWN.
Oh man..yeah, I am so glad the job I am in offers no chance of promotion. I’m the only programmer there. What are they going to do? Promote me to be the boss of me? Although, if it involved a raise, I guess I’d take it. I don’t think I would be a dick boss to myself. I’d definitely give myself more vacation. But I digress. I’m glad I have this job. I just have to write code and not worry about anything else. I love it. And thank you!
I was about to have my feelings hurt by you not liking hills – I mean my whole blog is about sitting at the top and enjoying the view……but then you finished with the fact that you’re sitting up here too! So I guess we can share the view and laugh at all those little people down there doing weird stuff and thinking it’s important (when we know it’s just a load of bollocks and will fade into the ether). And I don’t even know, or want to know, what that schwama or whatever stuff is – I still can’t pronounce quinoa (and have never eaten it either!)
I am so glad I didn’t hurt your feelings!! I LOVE being up here. And it’s Keen Wah. I actually like it. Haha. I only know know how to pronounce it because someone corrected me as I pronounced it the way IT FUCKING LOOKS… Quin Oh A.
Well, crap. I’m way over that damn hill but I knew every one of those things on your list. I think I’m being influenced by my twenty-something kids. They’ve been dragging me down their celebrity/fashion/music rabbit hole for years. If they ever move away though, I’m screwed. Who else is gonna help me polish my twerking skills? Never mind—-I don’t want to end up in a hospital bed after attempting half the stupid shit they do.
I twerk, but it’s entirely involuntary. Hahahaa.
Our last name: Biebel
Yeah, we get Bieber all the time. It’s just awesome.
And I totally don’t get the Dane Cook thing. NOT funny. NEVER was.
Oh man…yeah, that has to be annoying. And I tried giving Dane a chance, I just don’t find him funny at all.
I much enjoy your “view from over the hill” perspective! Being 55 and now my 4th year out of a devolved fairytale marriage, fucked by gas-lighting, I too am enjoying the “view.” It’s so nice to unhook & deprogran oneself from people-pleasing, a cruse of being raised a southern female. Now, I can just say, no. I’m working on not having to give an explanation why, though. Being strong and independent and stating the obvious is under valued. As a kid, I loved the book about the Emperor’s New Clothes and I often think of it now when I see people buying into the stupidest shit. When I’ve spoken up to state the obvious at work, fellow female teachers look at me like “stooooop, don’t rock the boat!”
But I’ve always been a boat rocker. I’ve always asked questions, frequently – why? I’m thrilled with blogs & the Internet because FINALLY I can find my “tribe.” Crazy ass, wild women, nature-loving, mistake-making learners are out there — willing to be vulnerable and be seen, thank goodness. And I’m so freaking grateful I’m not alone anymore !
You are NOT alone! We have a voice and we’re using it. People need to take heed because we shop. It’s time for midlife women to come out from behind the veil.
Sorry about the gas lighting. That is horrific and no one should have to live through that shit. 🙁
Fuck, now I have to Google Shamarara or whatever the hell it is. I’ve never heard of it so I must be behind you somewhere.
It’s really not bad. I had shawarma with hummus.