He’s Only Trying To Help

A few weeks ago there was a wreck on I-75 near downtown Cincinnati. The bridge going over the Ohio river is a double decker bridge. Northbound is underneath and Southbound is on top. I’m not sure exactly what happened, but what I  heard is a semi knocked a car from the upper deck to the lower. Both directions were closed.

We are about 20 miles North of downtown, so we weren’t really affected. However, the main road by our house was backed up and there appeared to be an accident at the entrance ramp to I-75 by our house.

Randy: It’s a contagion. One accident happens and then 50 or 60 more pop up.

Me: You will just make up anything won’t you? I mean you don’t even try to make sense.

Randy: I am trying to help you. I am giving you the wisdom that comes out of my

Me: Anus

Randy, pretending to not hear me: The vast amount of wisdom that comes from my cavernous…

Me: Anus

Randy: Brain.

Me: Same difference.

Randy: I won’t be helping you anymore.

Me: You say that, but you don’t mean it.

Randy: You’re going to be sorry the next time I

Me: Anus.

Randy: Now who isn’t making sense?

Me: HA! You just admitted that you don’t make sense.

Randy: No I didn’t.

Me: You did. You said ‘now who isn’t making sense’. That statement only makes sense if you weren’t making sense in the first place.

Randy: Anus.

Me: Do you think we’ll ever have grown up conversations?

Randy: Butthole.

Me: Butthole is a funny word.

I’m sure the rest of the conversation was deep and insightful and full of ways we will collaborate with each other to make our lives and the lives of all the other humans more fulfilling and palatable.

I only remember the anus and the butthole parts, though.

 

 

 

 

30 Thoughts.

    • I am so glad we aren’t the only ones. I’m not spying on your life…only because I don’t possess that technology…if I did, I totally would. I’m fascinated by other people’s conversations.

  1. Sounds like conversations I have with my brother, only we end up making up new words half the time.

    Brother: “It’s not html5 supported”
    Me: “I don’t know what that means, but I assume it will bad for me in the future.”
    Brother: *texts me link to some “html5 for complete fucking idiots” website*
    Me: “Snertz”
    Brother: “S’whatimsayin'”

    It makes no sense, but we understand it.

    Also my brother will just shout “BALLS!” at random and inappropriate times, which usually results in uncontrollable laughter in inappropriate places.

  2. I swear to you…you and I may have been separated at birth. My husband and I have conversations like this all the freakin’ time! To the great amusement of our children – which I probably shouldn’t admit!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.