So Randy and I have been binge watching Youtube videos. For a while, it was Watchmojo lists, but Randy got tired of arguing with the TVÂ (this is our version of watching sports).
We recently started binge watching America’s Got Talent videos.
I don’t watch reality shows because I think they’re dumb, but that hasn’t stopped me from watching the shit out of America’s Got Talent. It’s not the judges, I don’t give a fuck about them. I don’t know what the rules are, but I know getting the golden buzzer is a good thing and someone is getting a million dollars. I haven’t missed much, right? I don’t care about that part, either. I just love watching the people perform. I love seeing their passion manifest in so many different ways.
Anyway, Randy watched one that I didn’t see. It was an act were a woman shoots a flaming arrow at a dude. She missed and shot him in the neck. With a flaming arrow. I mean, getting shot in the neck with an arrow would completely suck, but a flaming arrow? Fuck that. I won’t watch it because, eww. Randy says it’s not as bad as it sounds, but I don’t know how you can make getting shot in the neck with a flaming arrow a more cheery story.
We talked about that act while eating dinner.
Randy: I feel sorry for that couple. I mean, they’re just screwed now. This will follow them for the rest of their lives. They’ll be known as the couple who fucked up on America’s Got Talent.
Me: Well, maybe they’ll have to just get a new passion.
Randy: Nope. It’s just ruined for them. They’ll be doing discount birthday parties and shit.
Me: I don’t think shooting flaming arrows into a dude’s neck is appropriate for a child’s birthday party.
Randy: Nah, they could shoot flaming arrows into Barney.
Me: Yeah, I’d pay for that.
***
So, anyway, I said a while ago that we are expecting our fifth grandchild. Baby Pickles is due on Christmas day. My stepdaughter and her boyfriend decided that they didn’t want to find out the gender ahead of time. She knew other people would really want to know, so she got this idea.
When she was pregnant with her daughter, she and her boyfriend were low on funds. The VA in Coshocton, Oh helped them out a few times with gift cards to a local grocery which made a big difference for them. She wanted to give something back to the Coshocton VA and asked me to write something up for a GoFundMe campaign. She doesn’t want to know the baby’s gender, but anyone who wants to know, can make a small donation (all proceeds are going to the Coshocton VA). Then, the administrator of the campaign (me and Randy) will send an email and tell them if she is having a girl or a boy.
Randy and I Â know the gender. Now, all I have to do is make it until Christmas without accidentally slipping up. Here’s a link to her gender reveal fundraiser. (There’s an ultrasound image there).
Here is my second article on Vibrant Nation. I got a massage and it was AWESOME…but also not quite what I expected. Haha.
Here are a few memes that I had on Rubber Shoes In Hell‘s Facebook page:
Sitting on my deck this morning reading this and got such a laughing fit that I am glad the neighbors are so far away. The dialogues with you and Randy are priceless. Thanks, Michelle!
HAHAHAAH…THANK YOU@@@@
I read about the flaming arrow couple. Would that make their act MORE marketable?
I mean, the thing with most acts like that you know the chance of something happening is pretty low. If there is a woman standing over here and a guy throw knives at her, no one really expects her to be hit.
But what if there was a chance that she would be?
I can’t watch acts like that at all, they make me anxious. I HATED going to the circus when I was a kid. The trapeze people freaked me the fuck out.
I saw you, but did not meet you at EBWW. You are hysterical. Your email is one that I click more often than not when it comes to my inbox and I’m never disappointed. Loved the massage story! Lou
Thank you so much, Lou! I’m sorry we didn’t get a chance to meet, honestly though, I was so overwhelmed by the number of people that I forgot most of the people I met. Next time. 🙂
Apparently, not ALL of America has talent! HAHA! I hope the guy is okay though. You and Randy are still Nick and Nora to ME! You guys definitely need to invest in satin pajamas and a smoking jacket (for Randy). Brandy snifters optional. 😀
Hahaah…I just can’t see him like that.
I heard about that whole flaming arrow thing. Well…. Susan Boyle famously got on some show after her performance on the British version, and couldn’t sing a note. I think it was GMA. She was so nervous, she panicked. She seems to have done pretty well… I myself was asked years ago to sing “Oh Canada” at a huge conference, with my proud father looking on. I had an enormous panic attack, and looked as if I was experiencing my own private earthquake. My poor dad… I got through it by clawing at the piano to hold me up. Stardom isn’t for all — those nerves will get ya! Thanks for another amazing post!
It’s funny because I’m nervous SO MUCH of the time, but I’ve found if I have a stage and a microphone, I’m pretty okay. Hahaha
Ya know what I like? I like the little memes you post on facebook. Know why? ‘Cause you write them yourself!
(You don’t copy other people’s. You don’t take a quote by one person and post it on the face of another person and make like oh, this person said this shit. Some people believe that kind of crap. The internet is full of mindless stupid lies of crap and shit. You don’t use other people’s artwork and make like it’s yours.)
Wait, go back. Beep beep backing up. I like your posts. Because they’re yours. And their fucking funny as shit and they make me laugh.
Thanks! You’re awesome!
Okay, this makes my day, seriously. Thank you so much. 🙂
I love making memes… quick and easy…I love it.
I usually get the Bundys confused: Al, Ted, Cliven, who can keep them straight? Somehow I knew just who Peg was, though, and I’ve never owned a TV.
I worked with a trainer, briefly, when I was a kid and raced motorcycles. He was a side benefit of the fifty bucks we paid to use the weight room at Humboldt State, and he gave some “workout massages” to some “volunteers” (I think he was training for his certificate or something.)
It hurt.
The next day, though, I wasn’t sore like I usually was. Later on I fell in with some Judo competitors, who actually trained harder than we did, and they all knew how to work the kinks out of each other’s muscles. For them it was all about winning, and they won more without knots in their muscles.
I’ve always wondered what it would feel like to get a massage from someone who really knew what they were doing.
Congratulations on the grandchild, by the way.
Thank you! We are excited!
I sure do remember clamping a cheap pair of vice-grip pliers to the channel chamger. I haven’t thought about that in years. (cheap-ass knobs)
I saw the woman shoot the guy on TV and of course, Randy’s right. Sounds worse than it is.
I think that I’ve watched 100’s of ghost and UFO youtube videos. Try that! It’ll make you suspicious when something grabs your blanket at night and gives it a tug while something knocks on the desktop, clunk clunk. You’ll immediately think GHOST! when it’s probably just a minor demon from Hell that you could kick it’s ass. Ha!
I also subscribe to YT feeds of Instant Karma and Fails. Not many Wins vidayos out there.
Oh well. I sleep with the 72″ TV on so I can see. You would too if you were me.
I watch ghost videos, too. I have been fascinated with stuff like that since I was little.
I don’t watch the show because on weird talents all I can wonder is how did they realize they could do whatever weird ass thing they are doing on national TV?
Congrats on the newest baby in a Christmas stocking.
Haha…I like the singing ones the most. Although, I LOVE Tape Face. He’s awesome. And thank you. 🙂
Go fund me– great idea.
Baby Pickles– too funny.
I don’t watch the show. How do you have time? I’m always blogging.
Janice
I save time by not doing housework or other things adults are supposed to do.
If I contribute will you shoot flaming arrows at people of my choosing? You don’t have to bullseye them. Just stick ’em a little bit.
Hmmm…I’m generally non-violent. But I guess I could practice up.
I’m just wondering what happened to safety and censorship (of stupid people that shoot flaming arrows at each other while being aired on TV or even on YouTube). Honestly, what if she had killed him…who lets another person actually do that?
Having said that…yes I would so see them shoot flaming arrows at Barney. Sign me up!
b+
Hahaha…
Yeah, I can’t watch anything like that. I get really anxious and freaked out.
I’d pay to see Barney get shot with a flaming arrow and that girl from Big Comfy Couch. God, I hated that show when my kids were little! Congratulations on baby #5
Loonette! YES…she was horribly annoying. Hahahah..and thank you!
I’m glad I didn’t see the flaming arrow couple. It sounds like their act is great and I’m sure it’s gone perfectly thousands of other times. You don’t let someone shoot flaming arrows at you unless you really trust them.
It’s just sad to think that they’ll be forever saddled with being fuckups.
How much would it cost to erase history and give them another chance?
Maybe too much. I think it’s a worthy cause but I think giving to the Coshocton VA is a worthier cause.
I’m so pleased she is raising money to pay it forward. I am so proud of my family. 🙂
I couldn’t stop myself from googling the video….it wasn’t that great in my opinion. I was slightly disappointed and I’m not one who likes to see people maimed, hurt, or otherwise.
Yeah, he said it wasn’t bad, but I’m not risking it.