What goes around most certainly does NOT always come around. Karma is a bitch. Karma is also an unreliable bitch. One could say that Karma is downright random.

I know we’re supposed to be something other than what I am going to admit to, I KNOW we are. I’ve read the trendy books, or at least the dust jacket that tells me all I need to know about visualizing and making good things happen for myself. Or the power of forgiveness. How to want what you’ve got.

That’s not me though.

I don’t think that I deserve a mansion on a beach. One with a ocean extension looking pool and waterfall.

I also am FULLY aware of how fortunate I am. Just having access to clean drinking water and knowing I’m never going to be outdoors at night puts me in an elite group.

Even so, I hate that Karma is bullshit.

I hate that certain blowhard radio entertainers can be opiate addicts yet talk shit about people with addictions. Or they can mock people for being fat while their own shirt buttons strain. And he can shove femi-nazi up his ass. Yet here we have this horrible, hate-filled gas bag living a lifestyle that we’re never going to have.

I hate that. I hate that basically decent people (me) will never live a life that will provide what they (me) would deem the minimum for living a privileged lifestyle.

Michelle’s list of necessities to live a barely privileged lifestyle:

• Optional daily massages.

• A chef.

• Daily Housekeeping.

• One walk down the red carpet.

• Attend Cannes film festival more than once.

• Travel to secluded tropical islands where you are pampered beyond belief and the shrimp are huge. There are also hammocks.

• A cushy car with a driver and a 1969 rag top Mercury Cougar for when I want to drive myself.

• A bathroom that houses the perfect bathtub and shower. A bathroom that is so perfect it actually brings tears upon entering.

Those are just the basics.

I’m sure if it weren’t for the fact that I’m already a little bored coming up with luxurious things that are unattainable, I could come up with a hundred or so more.

Perhaps instead I should question the emotional maturity of a woman who believes that asshole people really don’t deserve nice things. Not only that, one who thinks she is qualified to decided WHO the assholes are that don’t deserve nice things.

On the other hand, if Karma were real, that conservative radio douche twizzle wouldn’t have them either.

If Karma were real, then no employee anywhere would have to put up with a sadistic or spiteful boss for very long.What goes around comes around, right? Nope. In reality, most of us keep right on dealing with these asshats for YEARS.

People who are mean and spiteful continually get away with being mean and spiteful.

Bullies keep bullying.

I’m far from perfect, but that doesn’t mean that I’m not a nice person. I am.

I do nice things for people because that’s who I want to be. I am genuine with people because I am me and I will only be me. I was a reflection of what I thought people wanted me to be for far too long. Most of my life. Now, it’s all me, baby. And that is very nearly true! I will continue to be a decent human being even though there is nothing material in it for me. I’d rather live in my shabby little house in the suburbs and be nice than live in a mansion on the beach and be a dick. I am also almost POSITIVE that is true.

I’m also going to have to at least CONSIDER adopting that whole ‘wanting what you’ve got’ thing.

What’s on your barely privileged list?