I had no idea there was such a day, but there is! I know it’s true because I heard it on the radio and someone mentioned it on Twitter.

I don’t want to dishonor the holiday by not being a lazy mother. I already kind of blew it this morning by making breakfast for my son before school this morning. So, in order to NOT waste the holiday, these are what I’m going to do (or not do) for my Lazy Mother’s Day celebration:

Disclaimer: The following were probably already going to happen or not happen. I will just not feel any guilt over it because..you know..Lazy Mother’s Day. 

• I will ignore the splotchy sticky mess that is currently peeking out from under the fridge.
• I will drink a little too much tonight and possibly be slightly hung over at my granddaughter’s birthday party tomorrow.
• I will leave the half deck of playing cards scattered under the kitchen table that have been there for a few days. Possibly 4 days.
• I will order take out for my son’s dinner instead of making him a healthy meal.
• I will stay up too late and watch bad TV.
• I will pretend not to notice that my bedroom is pretty much in the same state as it was when I was a teenager.
• I will convince myself that the slightly skanky smell coming from my bathroom will resolve itself.
• I will not look at the whole watermelon that has been sitting on my kitchen table and remind myself that if I don’t cut it up soon, it will go bad. Also, I will convince myself that it’s really working as a centerpiece. A centerpiece that is not so much center as it is sitting on the edge and is a messy accident waiting to happen.
• I will wait for Randy to get tired of the dishes in the sink and clean them up.

I don’t think my kids know about Lazy Mother’s Day because I didn’t get a card or anything which is complete bullshit. It’s not Lazy Kid’s day.