You know how there are days when no one wants to make dinner so you just go out?
That happens at least once a week for us. Key phrase: at least.
On a recent evening, after we determined that no one was going to make dinner, we got in the car with no clear idea where we were going. We have the standbys, but after 8 years, I guess we were ready for a change. We usually bounce between a franchise Mexican place, a franchise chicken wing place, or perhaps fast food if we are not in the mood for peopling. The joys of suburban living. You can always find an Applebee’s when you need one.
We decided to go to a new shopping area. They had franchise restaurants that we weren’t used to! Woo hoo. We drove past the Cheesecake factory, the Kona grill, and ended up agreeing to try The Rusty Bucket. It turned out to be a good idea because they have half price appetizers for happy hour. The inside is what one would expect. High top tables around a bar. Sports playing on big screens. Trendy beers.
Randy and I have been there three times in the past 7 days, mostly because we can get a bucket of peel and eat shrimp for 5 bucks. Throw in
a quesadilla for another 5 bucks and we have dinner for less than what we would spend at a drive thru.
I can see this is going to become a thing for us. I hope I don’t develop an allergy for shellfish.
While we were eating, Randy told me about an article he read about stunt journalism and how places like Buzzfeed are getting people to do shit like eat nothing but burritos for a week. And they’re doing it for very little money.
Me: I don’t think I need a byline that bad. I wouldn’t eat nothing but burritos for peanuts.
Randy: Would you do it for peanut burritos?
Me:…
Randy: Do you think there is such a thing as shrimp dogs?
Me: I don’t know. Probably.
Randy: Would you eat shrimp dogs for a week for a byline and a little cash?
Me: No.
Randy:…
Me: Yeah.
I also came up with the idea of having two people, who know absolutely nothing about sports, do an ESPN talk show or be announcers at a sporting event. They would play it straight, like they know what they are talking about, and just make shit up. It would be hilarious. It would be like MST3K except with sports. And no robots. Well, and they wouldn’t be talking over anything. I guess it’s not really like MST3K at all. Never mind.
Anyway, we were making the short drive home and I was jamming to Kid Rock on the Lithium station on Sirius. (mostly because Randy hates kid rock, especially the Bawitaba song) and picking the shellfish seasoning out from under my fingernails.
Me: You know how they say everyone has a natural talent?
Randy: Yeah?
Me: Wouldn’t it suck if you natural talent was being able to tell what a person had for dinner by smelling what was underneath their fingernails?
Randy: NCIS: The Fingernail Squad?
Me: Wonder what that pays?
Sure, it’d be disgusting, but still better than a cubicle.
Also, I’m pretty sure no one is going to feel like cooking tonight.
Sometimes, you just gotta be ‘Good to go.’
I could live on peel and eat shrimp for quite awhile at that price…
But I don’t mix my whiskey to save on pee breaks… so.
I’m a cheapskate.
hahahha…so true..sometimes you DO have to be good to go. 🙂
I am totally down with the sports show. I would watch that. Hell, I’d be in it. I’d love to announce a cricket match, or game, or pitch, or whatever they call it. I’d make up some rules that actually made some damn sense.
I don’t know much about any sport, but I can make shit up…my rules wouldn’t make any sense, though. haha. It’d be fun.
Wow, I wish we had that here in the UK. A bucket of shrimp would probably cost a week’s food budget here, if we had such a thing.
I couldn’t buy that much shrimp at the grocery for the same price. Well..maybe around that price if they were on sale.
That would be the only cable sports channel I’d subscribe to. I’d get me some cheap resto food and park my butt in front of the TV for a week, if someone made me an offer.
I think that could be hilarious, honestly. Just make shit up but use the same mannerisms and voices that you see the “serious” sports people use.
I love the “sports announcing but not knowing squat about sports” idea!! That would be hilarious. Especially if you watched it with someone who knew the sport but didn’t know about the made up shit!!
You are always good for a laugh Michelle! ♡
It would be hysterical! Hahahah…and thank you so much! 🙂
Oh for fuck’s sake, I was eating lunch.
So that’s a no to the NailSniffingSquad. Although, I could help with a logo if it ever comes to that.
Hahhaa..I should have put a disclaimer at the beginning.
OK, apparently shrimp dogs are a thing:
http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/patrick-and-gina-neely/ginas-shrimp-corn-dogs-recipe.html
In 2008, we bought digital rabbit ears for the TV in our warehouse space so that we could watch the broadcast of the Olympics. I like watching the Olympics, but watching my housemates watch them was almost as much fun. They would listen to the announcers explain the important parts of the events, and immediately begin tossing around the technical terms they had only a minute before been unaware of. Any of us could have faked the announcer job with only a couple of technical terms leaked to us beforehand.
I love quesadillas, but am only sort of meh about shrimp. I think some of them made me sick once and now I don’t trust them unless they’re battered and deep fried…
Hahaha…Randy sent me that SAME LINK for shrimp corn dogs.
In my old age I will get a migraine if I eat the same food for more than 2 days. I used to be able to make a chicken and eat off of it for 4-5 days and enjoy it! Sure I may have smelled like chicken and might have had chicken under my nails but….
Oh man…food related migraines. Mine are weather related and I’ve had a cluster headache for over 24 hours now. It sucks ass. 🙁
We rely a lot on breakfast for dinner when we can’t decide. Our kids are too crazy to take out to eat too often.
I loved MST3K when I was in high school! I would totally watch your ESPN show…..especially since all of the major station s do the same thing with their morning show hosts during the Olympics.
We rewatched MST3K episodes a few months ago. I forgot how much I loved that show.
You should pitch NCIS: The Fingernail Squad to a network. Hell there has been every other type of NCIS and Law and Order. I would make myself a dang quesadiLLa and watch it!
props on the Napoleon Dynamite reference!
We have nights like that although we have to drive a little further to civilisation as we stay a little ways to Whoop Whoop !!! LOL We have found the local watering hole which has the BEST steaks in the world at a really reasonable price so that tends to be where we go before anywhere else because it’s the closest.
Have the best day xox
Yeah, we always end up going someplace close by….
I’m hungry for shrimp steamed with Old Bay seasoning! Can I hitch a ride? 🙂
Yes! That would be awesome
I think the only song I know by Kid Rock is the duet with Sheryl Crow. It’s awful and sort of clunky.
I”m probably not Kid Rick’s target audience, though.
I”m not a fan…I was just playing that song to torture Randy with my terrible singing.
I’ve had this idea bouncing around in my head of serious sports commentating for games like croquet or going down a slip-n-slide or people playing “Monopoly” but obviously I’ve been thinking about it the wrong way. Your idea sounds so much better.
Although I think your idea could be even more hilarious combined with actual MST3K commentary. Imagine being able to extract JUST THE COMMENTARY from, say, the short “Out Of This World” and playing it over a football game. Lines like “Just puttin’ the salmon balls away” and “It’s the circus of the devil!” would become even more surreal and even funnier.
You are totally hired!