I like booze as much as the next person; maybe even MORE than the next person.
There are a few times in my life that I relied on it more than I should have. Even so, I was never too hungover for work.
HAHAHA…that’s not true. There were a FEW times I was too hungover for work, I just went anyway.
When I was in my early 30s, I saw a therapist for depression. This was a time that I was drinking way too heavily and he was concerned. He sent me to a psychiatrist to discuss my drinking habits.
This psychiatrist asked me this within minutes of meeting me: Have you ever drank alcohol to alter your mood?
Me, wondering if this was a trick question: Ummm, yes?
Psychiatrist, with whom I would only have one appointment: Well then, you are an alcoholic.
What. The. Actual. Fuck? How does a professional diagnose alcoholism within 5 minutes based on the answer to one question?
So, that means every person I’ve ever known that drinks booze is an alcoholic.
I fixed the problem without his help. I just stopped drinking for a while. I had about a week of not being able to easily fall asleep and then I was fine. Since then, I’ve kept it in moderation. which means I only drink on the weekends.
This works for me.
The first time I drank booze, I was 12 years old and babysitting 4 boys. Joey, Ron Ron, Brian and Kevin. After they were in bed, my girlfriend and I decided to try a ‘mixed drink’. We poured a little from each of the booze bottles under the kitchen sink into a Flintstones glass. Bad Luck Shleprock.
It was horrible.
And before you get all judgy about my irresponsibility, you should know that the two sisters I was babysitting for paid us in weed. They also taught us how to do the Bus Stop to Gary Wright’s song ‘My Love Is Alive’. The irresponsibility really started with the grownups.
It was the 70s and that excuses a lot.
My taste was so much more refined when I was in my teens. I loved Mr. Boston screwdrivers which was like tang and vodka. I remember drinking most of a fifth while playing volleyball in the hot sun. The vomiting was SPECTACULAR.
I reached the legal drinking age in the early 80’s. We drank Bartles and Jaymes wine coolers. I didn’t LIKE the wine coolers, but it was the 80’s dammit and that is what we drank.
It was also in the 80’s that I actually spoke the word ‘orgasm’ out loud for the first time. Only because there was a drink I wanted to try. An orgasm with ice cream. No idea what was in that drink, but I loved it. Probably just because of the ice cream. It didn’t give you an orgasm though. Which is best…I was in a club at the time. Unless you are Meg Ryan, you just can’t get away with that shit in public.
It was during the 80’s that I learned about the dangers of Long Island iced tea and sloe gin.
The 80’s ended about the same time as my first marriage. By then I had settled into what would become my routine. Tequila. Shot glass.
That’s been it for me ever since. Give me a shot glass, a bottle of tequila, and I’m happy. I don’t need lime or salt….just a glass. The glass is optional.
Actually, I like bourbon more than tequila, but bourbon tends to make me feel a little ‘groggy’ in the morning. In case you can’t work that code out, groggy = hungover.
We’ve had a rocky relationship over the years, me and booze. We understand each other now.
Every Friday night, when I get home from work, I have a drink. I have this drink to alter my mood. If that makes me an alcoholic, well then…I am a content one. I suspect there are a lot of us out there. Like I said, I’ve never known ANYONE who drinks to not at least occasionally drink to alter their mood.
I’ll need one this week to get ‘My Love Is Alive’ out of my head because it’s been stuck there ever since I thought about writing this post.
Cheers, motherfuckers!
My name is Tonyne and I am also an alcoholic.
Cheers!
I feel sorry for those poor people who just drink for the taste alone…they’re missing out.
I like the taste of my dry red wine, but when I pour myself a glass after a long hard day it certainly isn’t for the taste.
I like wine, but I can’t drink it..it gives me a terrible headache..
I also think that psychiatrist was completely full of shit.
It took me 13 years of miserable sobriety at AA meeting before I took my first drink to alter my mood. For me, because of my mental illness, which is very much misunderstood by some, for me it was self medication. Trying to erase my memories for at least a little while.
Now that I don’t drink, mostly because of the medications I take, (I think) I am stuck with the memories. I jut handle them differently. No, “Oh Jesus save me” or any of that. I count how many years back it is that I’ve let something fuck me up. It’s foolish to live controlled by something 50 years old. Fifty fucking years!!!
If they ever come out with a selective memory eraser I’ll fight to be first in line.
Alter reality any way you’d like because reality often sucks.
Bosses suck, work sucks, the commute sucks and sometimes your own family sucks so you commute from suckage to suckage. I did it for over 30 years. I can’t do it anymore, can’t hold it together long enough and believe me, I am extremely grateful to the FSM that I don’t have to. Now, if those memories will just go away without me making them go away.
I have a little bit of cannabis Indica that I hope will help. My psychiatrist did not disapprove. It may be two more weeks before my first trial. I love the buzz.
Fuck your psychiatrist.
HAHHA…I agree…fuck that guy..and thank you for sharing!
Cheers from a fellow Friday night alcoholic!
Cheers! I will drink a shot in your honor
Does the fact that this post reminds me that I want to drink, mean that I, too, have a problem? DAMN IT.
I don’t see it as a problem..unless you spill your drink
I drink because my kids watch My Little Pony and I want to be able to stay in the room with them.
well..as we are related, I think you have a drinking problem by default
I don’t drink. I used to and one day I just stopped for no particular reason. I’m now thinking I’m the only person on earth who doesn’t drink and the biggest idiot on earth for not drinking.
Watch out kiddies…mommy will be in an altered state of mind tomorrow night…thanks to her twitter friend haha.
Great post (as always) 🙂
Hahha..nah..there is NOTHING wrong with NOT drinking..but damn..just because a person relaxes with some booze doesn’t necessarily mean they have a fucking problem..
And thank you!
Um, I think I would have to see a shrink if I didn’t have a cocktail every now and again.
Life can kinda be a bitch. Have a cocktail, sit back, enjoy the next couple of hours. Just not so much you feel like yarking at your kids game the next day. I wouldn’t know from experience or anything………….
well, I can tell you who NOT to see..unless he’s dead. It was a while ago. He might be dead now.
I’m one of those people who don’t like the taste of alcohol which means that for years the ONLY reason I drank was to alter my mood. Finally in my late 30s I’ve found a few wines that I actually enjoy. Now my reason for rarely drinking is that I don’t want the extra calories. But don’t get me wrong, I’m all for a Friday cocktail. Cheers!
Welcome to the fold, my fellow booze hound
I was told that I’m an alcoholic because my grandfather was an alcoholic.
I think this may top your psychiatrists comment.
wasn’t everyone’s grandfather an alcoholic? There was just no hope for me.
And yes, that tops it.
I don’t drink. But, that isn’t to say that I never drank. I started drinking beer and whatever we could smuggle from adults in high school. I had several very bad dates with a bottle of Jack that ended in spectacular vomiting on my friend’s shoes in a club.
Around the time I turned 21, I stopped drinking. No more challenge, I guess. I also started realizing how awful I felt when I drank anything. I would get super hot, but not in a good way. My face flushed and I just felt like ass.
Now, as I am getting older, I think I may have developed an allergy to most alcohol and get that Asian flush face thing.
But, I will also say that I never took a drink without trying to “alter my mood.” I think the people who drink because they like the taste are the actual alcoholics. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it!
Bourbon, gin or rum for me. It’s my understanding that alcoholics go to meetings. I don’t go to meetings hence I am not an alcoholic.
Hahah…me either..there are people at those meetings. And they don’t even have a cash bar.
Is there any OTHER reason to drink alcohol?! Either this psychiatrist has never had a drink in his life or he’s an alcoholic and was “projecting.” An alcoholic can’t stop drinking, they drink every day. Or at least that’s the definition I would use. If you can limit yourself to weekends, that sounds more like binge drinking. I love drinking but can go months without drinking too. When I start, I don’t like to stop. I love how it brings out the best in me. It’s also wonderful for stress relief.
I had quite a few years where I would drink until I was finished (which means we were out) But I don’t do that anymore..I almost ALWAYS know when to quit now. 🙂
Wow… welcome to my world. I’m currently going through some tough shit and I had been drinking to alter my mood from angry and scared to numb and forgetful. I’m working on it, and it’s one day at a time. I did go out and have a couple of beers last night, but nothing crazy. I prefer Jameson, but I know that the whiskey can perhaps alter me a little too much, so for the time being, I’m just sticking with beer, and limiting my consumption. And yeah, fuck that psychiatrist. Way to make a person who was already (I’m assuming) insecure about her mental health issues feel even worse.
Yeah, he was a real dick. I only went that one time.
I am a bourbon fan. I LOVE bourbon. But it makes me feel like shit the next day.
Here’s to you! I hope you find relief. 🙂