I did it.
I had a new experience in that I bought my first pair of orthopedic shoes. I bought purple ones, because if there is anything women my age love, it is everything purple.
To be fair, it lacked the rush of scoring tickets to a Tom Petty tribute band or a nice pedicure but, at least, it didn’t make me as pouty as having to get bi-focals did.
I wrote a brief post a month ago about taking an improv class. I have two classes left. I’m not sure what I was expecting the class to be like, but it wasn’t this. It has been amazing. I love the people, the class is fun, and I can feel myself loosening up my expectations of myself. I think I’m going to keep going and take all the classes.
The downside is my feet.
Fucking hell, I cannot be on my feet that long. So, I did the thing. I cracked my knuckles and commenced to research old lady shoes. I don’t like researching things because it’s mostly boring. I did learn that orthopedic shoes can be very expensive. And there are a lot of choices.
So, I used science and picked the cheapest pair with the highest rating on Amazon.
Me: I bought orthopedic shoes.
Randy, who loves to research and would have been happy to research for me: Where did you get them?
Me: Amazon.
Randy: When will they get here?
Me: I don’t know. It was kind of a long shipping date. Probably 2 weeks.
Randy: Do you know their origin?
Me: Like their back story?
Randy:…
Me: No.
Randy: They’re probably coming from China. Why did you pick those?
I explained my method.
Randy: They’re your feet.
I did at least switch up my shoes with ones I already had for the next classes and it was better, but by the end of the class, my feet and back are pretty squidgy.
Then, they came! My purple old lady orthopedic shoes.
I am not going to lie, they were lighter weight than I expected. A little stiff. But still, they would save my feet. They had 4 out of 5 stars!
Cincinnati Improv offered a work shop with Luke Null, who was on SNL between 2017 – 2018. I decided to take his workshop this past Saturday. What a perfect time to try out new shoes! At an event where you will be on your feet for 3 hours.
There were more people in the workshop than in my 101 class and everyone else in the workshop had gone through the entire improv program. Some of them had acting gigs. I was older than all of them.
I have never wanted to run away from a group of people more in my entire life. And I could have, because I wore my super fast orthopedic shoes.
Turns out, I could hold my own. Everyone was kind and generous. Everyone laughed. I haven’t watched SNL in years, so I wasn’t familiar with Luke, but he was engaging and made the afternoon a lot of fun.
Also, my orthopedic shoes, not only didn’t make my feet feel wonderful, they actively hurt me. I felt new twinges in my back and hips. The balls of both feet swelled up. And they wouldn’t stay tied.
I don’t know how much one should pay for a good pair of orthopedic shoes, but I can tell you that it is definitely more than $59.99.