This summer will be the 8th summer we’ve spent in this house. This is the longest I have ever lived in one place and the first house I’ve owned.
I like here enough, but I’ve never been overly attached to the place. Honestly, I don’t get overly attached to most things, which has it’s advantages. I process change with ease. Well, I used to. Change grows harder as I get older, but I still can change without too much pain.
My mother in law kept a garden. I miss her like mad. I’m sad I only have memories of her backyard and that I’ll never sit in her backyard again.
My sister in law brought me some starts from her mom’s garden after we had been in our house for a year. Some rose of sharon bushes and a teeny little start of a lilac bush. This start was a twig with about 3 leaves on it.
The first year, the lilac twig didn’t grow and I thought after winter that I’d just have another dead plant on my hands. I’ve been the instrument of death for many plants. I’ve ceased to become emotional over the fact that I am a plant killing monster.
The lilac twig bush didn’t die, though. The following spring, the little lilac twig sprouted 3 leaves and stayed 
that way.
For three years.
For three years that damn little twig would sprout a few leaves, not get any bigger, and then not die over the winter.
I found myself rooting for the little guy. Holy shit, that is some tenacity right there.
The 4th year, the bush grew a second twig and actually had ten or so leaves on it. The little bush lived two years like that, not getting bigger and not dying in the cold.
Then last year, the twig bush sprouted more limbs and had a full set of leaves. It was still tiny, no more than a foot tall, but definitely looked like a bush rather than an anemic twig with three leaves.
My little lilac bush has never produced a single flower, but damn, it has worked so fucking hard to stay alive the past seven years. It’s tiny, but I think this year it might start growing. Maybe. Maybe, it will stay this way. I do know this, this is the first year I won’t be thinking “Surely the winter will kill it this year.” No way. That fucking bush is a badass and doesn’t care if there are no flowers yet. It still wants to live.
I’m writing this while sitting on my deck on a Saturday morning. The air feels cool, but winter has definitely left the building. I stoked up the fire from last night. I have coffee, the sun is creating a glare, and my fire is more smoke than fire, but I’m happy. I am facing my little lilac bush and feeling some kinship.
I just keep going. It doesn’t matter that winter is coming.
Game Of Thrones totally ruined that phrase, didn’t it?
I keep growing. Sooner or later, changes happen. They are subtle and sometimes I didn’t even notice the difference until we were already old friends.
Then a day came when I realized that I still don’t have any flowers, but I don’t care. I am where I am. I’m not giving up. The flowers will come or they won’t. In the meantime, I will continue to enjoy my new leaves and branches.
I never heard of Game of Thrones until yesterday so that phrase wasn’t ruined on me.
I like a good story of perseverance and your lilac twig filled the bill. Maybe consider a feeding stick for it. They look like a popsicle stick sharpened on one end. They have them for near every type of plant. Just follow the simple directions. You twig may appreciate it.
oooohhhh Thank you for the tip!!
a bag of manure (composted of course) would make your lilac very happy.
Awesome! Thank you!
I’m rooting for you both. (And given how much your writing is growing – I think I can see some buds).
Love this.
Thank you! I am not worrying about the buds right now (that is very nearly true). I am just appreciating the journey.
The only thing Game of Thrones has ruined for me is my bedside table because my neighbor gave me a copy of the book months ago and I haven’t opened it yet. Haven’t even come close to watching the show.
Maybe I should take a lesson from you and the twig and stop being intimidated and just dive in there. Maybe once I get into it I’ll get a firm foothold and just keep going.
So what I’m getting at is, can I borrow your deck?
You can borrow my deck. I have not read the books either, but I have watched the show. My son started reading them a few years ago at age 16 and he loves them. He’s been nagging me for years to read them.
Read the books, they are awesome…better than the series anytime!
My son has been nagging me for a few years now.
Grow lilac grow!
Right? I am so rooting for it. Haha..see what I did there?
*double clicks tongue against inside of cheek*
Ohh… where to start??
Analogies. Metaphors. Parables.
My FAVES!!
I refer you to the scene from Bambi.
The flower eating scene with Thumper.
If you have pretty and edible foliage, you may attract the wrong kind of adoration and get eaten or displayed in a vase. Either way, the flower fate is doomed.
Pretty.
Delicious.
Doomed.
That about sums it up? ‘Eh?
Better to be a sturdy, non-attention seeking, reliable little twig with consistent growth and perseverance!
That is worthy of admiration and a cheering section.
And, you won’t get eaten or displayed like so much frippery.
(Yeah, typing it made it even more metaphorically hilarious 🙂 )
I haven’t watched Game of Thrones or read the book, either. WAY too many storylines and hard-to-spell names to keep track of…
I didn’t get the reference, either.
But I’m OK with a little ignorance and that winter is over.
😉
Consistent growth and perseverance (I had to look at your comment again for the spelling of ‘perseverance’) haha..anyway..that seems to be my path. 🙂
Yeah… I thought it had another ‘r’
Go red squiggly, save my spelling face! (Yay for right click! )
😉
HAHHAHA…that is EXACTLY what I did
From one plant killer to another, congratulations on your twig bush.
Which might also sound a lot more exciting if taken out of context 🙂
HAHAHAH..yeah, it does. I’m going to try feeding it. It might help..it might bring about it’s demise. You never know
Beautiful “story”! Reminds me of myself. 🙂
Thank you so much!!
See? There you go again…
I have a deep fondness for lilacs, as one grew just outside my childhood bedroom window and I will always remember lying in bed at night enjoying the lilac-scented breeze. I grew up there and returned throughout my adulthood for several “time-outs” of various duration (out of necessity and, yes, desperation). I’ve never lived anywhere else for longer than five years. My mother sold that property at the end of 2014 and moved out west to live with my sister. A couple of weeks ago, my younger daughter and I happened to be in the area and drove by “grandma’s house” just to – I don’t know- just because. The house is for sale again. So later that day I checked it out on the MLS and saw photos of the backyard. My 60 year old lilac was gone. Someone cut it down. Motherfucker. This, I think, truly finalizes my break from that house. My apartment is situated in a very old part of the city, next to rail yards. A neighbour has rescued a plot of land around the corner that was formally a dumping ground. Over several years, she has transformed it into the loveliest garden one can imagine, with benches, statues, picnic table, and a wonderful variety of perennials and flowering shrubs, and yes, purple lilacs which are now budding. Yesterday I visited them. Soon they will open and release that familiar scent. Anywhere I find purple lilacs, I find that old memory of home; of my childhood. They are indeed very hardy plants – ours survived so many brutal winters in Quebec. Whenever you finally make that move M, you must take your lilac with you. Thanks for this one 🙂
Thank you so much for sharing this touching story! Yes, I DO need to take it with me. I will try. I might kill it, but I will try. I miss my MIL’s garden so much. I am glad I have some of it. The rose of sharons are fine..but I am also partial to lilacs. I love the scent so much.
I stumbled across your post of “What Not to Wear After Age 50” on Facebook and fell in love with your writing style and personality! I too, am a lilac fan. I despise that I can rarely find it in scented things for my home~until recently!! Walmart has decided (for how long I don’t know) to carry Lilac in its jar candles. It is so rare to find that having purchased the smallest one (we live in a motel room~have since Halloween of 2014~and it fucking sucks!), I haven’t even lit it up amazed that I found something lilac scented! My future in-laws have 2 lilac bushes in their backyard along the back wall of their home.
Thank you so much! I love lilac scent as well, it’s one of my favorites. I will have to look for that candle. I am glad you are here!
Had to jump in here – I’m a gardening freak. The kindest thing you can do for that lilac is to pull the grass off its feet (by hand, so you don’t chop up its roots). Then, if you’re feeling really helpful, put down a couple layers of newspaper and some mulch to protect the lilac’s personal space a bit. With less competition, it’ll get bigger and badder faster. 🙂 Other than that, as you’ve already seen, lilacs are cast iron. I’ve got seven big ones in Chicago and I don’t water them or feed them ever – I just prune them when they get so big I can’t get by them! (Super Important Tip – do NOT prune lilacs except for just after they bloom. Otherwise, you whack all of next year’s blooms off.)
Ok, I’ll shut up now. 😉 And as always, thanks for making my day a bit brighter. I read all your posts!
V
THANK YOU THANK YOU!! I am a terrible (but earnest) gardener. I will take your advice this weekend!
I absolutely loved this, Michelle. I’m a garden addict, so I appreciated being able to sit beside you on your deck and see this through your eyes.
I waited for ten years on my lilac. We actually bought him to memorialize a dear friend who had passed long before we were ready.
This year, it was finally plump with purple blooms and leaves. It makes me happy every time I see it.
Game of Thrones? As if I could love you any more than I already do!
This season rocks…though I’m pissed at Ramses…
I haven’t seen this season yet, but I am looking forward to it!
I’m pretty green fingered but I never had much luck with lilac bushes so you just be doing something right 🙂
Keep on keeping on, that’s all we can do!
Hahah..I dug a little hole and shoved it in. That’s about it.
Never grown a lilac, but there are some night blooming jasmine in close proximity to this house, and the scent of them is beautiful at night. They remind me of when I used to have a motorcycle and on warm nights I would run into the jasmine scent like a beautiful smelling brick wall in some neighborhoods. And yes, I would plan my routes through certain neighborhoods so as to pass the maximum number of jasmine bushes…
It’s getting a little late in the year, but we’re thinking about putting in a garden in the back yard here. We’ll see whether or not it actually happens.
Inspiring post, and Lisa K is hilarious.
Lisa K IS hilarious! And the Jasmine sounds lovely..just lovely! Go for it..the worst that can happen is you kill all the plants. I am here to tell you, that is not the end of the world.
You guys just get me before the meds kick in…
Beautifully said.
Thank you!!
Lilacs just smell like Spring! When you move dig it up and put it in a big pot. It might go into shock the first year but the second year it may even bloom?
Oh I am taking it with me. We’ve stuck together this long. 🙂
I am so cheering your little twig on…for you too.
Thank you!!!!!
When we moved a few years ago, I accidentally left a potted cactus out in the garden. Then it rained a lot. When I found him, he was swollen and purple and looking rather miserable. I thought I’d lost him. But after a couple of weeks in the house and rainless rehab on the kitchen window sill, he shrunk back to his original self. It made me oddly happy. Now my kitten has taken to uprooting him and tossing him in the sink. Perhaps your mighty lilac has some advice?
Hahahaha…my lilac would tell you to keep me away from your cactus. I’ve killed them before.
Somehow, I have managed to keep the hanging planter on our front patio alive. I’ve remembered to water it regularly. I have some bougainvillea bushes you can practice on if you want to! HAHA!
I’ve never seen Game of Thrones (or Walking Dead) other than in magazine articles and pictures. Am I the only one? 🙂
I love both the game of thrones and the walking dead. I don’t think you’re the only one or anything, but you do make me kind of sad.
Yay!! And another good reason to call you George, George 🙂
I HAVEN’T seen either of them, either.
We can make Michelle sad together… because I don’t want you to carry that burden alone … Lil Buddy, Ol Pal.
I tried to watch the Walking Dead, Michelle, I swear…
Hahah. Okay then, you both make me sad.
No Terri Lee…not the only one on either of those….as mentioned in a previous post up there^^, I live in a motel room with my boyfriend so I have access to basic cable tv and internet, yet live on Netflix to watch tv when my favorite shows are in off season (Face Off ~a special effects make up competition show) and the now defunct American Idol). I suppose I will eventually give in and watch these two shows, but it will be awhile!
I love that Michelle. Had to laugh because I am not allowed to step foot in our gardens. Whether it’s flowers or tomatoes apparently I am the grim reaper of plants. Oh well, I never have to pull fucking weeds. I’m not as dumb as I often pretend to be.
Hahaha…I know you aren’t. 🙂
I don’t know why, but this story reminded me of The Princess Bride. The part where Wesley is telling Buttercup about the dread pirate Roberts and how each night he would say good job today Wesley, I’ll most likely kill you in the morning.
I love that so much.
I have a lilac that my grandmother brought to me 26 years ago. It, too, was a stick with three leaves on it and two of them fell off. It was the saddest little Charlie Brown lilac you ever saw. My husband used to make fun of me for watering and feeding “my stick”. It takes a while, but it’ll get there and the scent will be so worth it! The best part will be when I make my husband transplant it in the yard of our new home! Haha
Yes! I LOVE this! I am glad to know there is still hope. And yes, I too have been made fun of. Haha