It doesn’t matter whether we are on a precipice or a horizon. We’re heading in either way.
I wrote a different post that I intended to post today. One last rant about the election. I like the post, but I have never felt so sick over posting something I’ve written. Nearly every article I’m reading these days is about the election or about marginalized groups. I’m reading about protests, hate crimes, and pipelines.
I don’t want to add to this stream of words that are crashing on us in toxic waves. I’m certainly not suggesting they shouldn’t exist, for all that is fucking holy, we must be as informed as we can be. We must stay outraged. We must fight against normalizing hate.
I guess I decided that other writers have this covered for now. Perhaps, my time would be better spent crawling out of the bleak hole that is the 2016 election and telling you guys about something mostly not election related.
First, I am just now getting over being sick. The antibiotics totally fucked my stomach up. I have no appetite which is so much not me. Everything tastes like it’s gone over. On the plus side, I’ve been dropping weight like a champ. The downside is rapid weight loss makes my hypochondria flair up. I’ve had to talk myself out of a half a dozen fatal illnesses since Sunday.
Anyway, this morning we had a company wide meeting about insurance. There were donuts in the break room. I didn’t get any before the meeting because I haven’t felt like eating for days. Even donuts.
After the meeting, however, I went to heat my coffee up in the break room. There was a whole sleeve of cinnamon twist donuts. I love cinnamon twist donuts. So, I snagged one, returned to my desk, and ate that motherfucker like it was going through a wood chipper. I don’t think I’ve ever eaten anything better than that donut. In fact, I’m kind of kicking myself in the ass now that I didn’t go back for another one.
I wore a black dress that buttons down the front. The donut shrapnel was all over my boobs. I reached up to brush the sugar and cinnamon off and 
my pinky caught the top button of my dress. I popped open every button down the front of my dress with the first brush of my hand.
My desk sits behind a row of filing cabinets and I was able to get buttoned back up before anyone saw. So I have that going for me. It’s hard being me.
I made it through the rest of my day without disrobing in front of my coworkers.
When I got home from work, Randy and I decided to go out for dinner. We have both been bemoaning the state of the goddamn world since last Wednesday. Our plan was to go out, have a nice dinner, talk about our personal plan for the future, and forget about the election for a few hours.
We didn’t succeed, not really. I mean, it was nice to get out, but we still talked politics. I guess. Politics isn’t really the right word, is it? We talked about the current abysmal state of affairs.
Me: I called the representative for our district today.
Randy: For?
Me: To voice my dismay at Trump appointing Steve Bannon as chief strategist.
Randy: Who’d you call?
Me: I can’t remember his name. Warren Stevens maybe?
Me: Wait. That might be a Buffy villain.
Me: Although, I don’t know if they ever say Warren’s last name on Buffy. You remember Warren, right? He made the robot girl and then he shoots Tara and Willow flays him?
Randy: Yes. Yes, I remember Warren. Because you’ve made me watch Buffy a million times.
Me: Whatever, it hasn’t even been a hundred times.
Randy: Did you get to talk to him?
Me: Warren from Buffy?
Randy:…
Me: I didn’t get to talk to anyone. They kept saying I was being sent to voice mail, but then I’d just get the original message. I was in an infinite loop.
Randy: Kind of like the way you watch Buffy.
Me: Haha, motherfucker. Buffy comforts me.
Me: Don’t make me flay you.
We got home and I realized that I had a few moments today that weren’t engulfed in a hateful orange fog.
I didn’t think about politics at all when I was shoving that donut down my throat.
Randy and I had a nice time at dinner. We laughed. Life felt normal again, at least for an hour or so.
When we got home, I watched this video that someone posted on Facebook and it made me happy. Like, actually happy. I have been a bit afraid that happy was on an extended hiatus. Anyway, it was only a few moments. But they were good moments.
I hope all of you are finding moments where you can.
I don’t know if we are on a precipice or a horizon, but I do know that none of us are alone.
Remember to breathe. Then remind me to breathe.
Oh, and Warren Davidson is the representative from Ohio’s 8th congressional district. Warren Mears is the Warren from Buffy. I have no idea who Warren Stevens is. Maybe, Darren Stevens twin brother?
This was funny & well needed. One question: if it is Darren, pronounced Dehr-run, shouldn’t Warren be pronounced Wer-run? Or vice versa. Anywhoo, I am glad you are feeling better & hopefully your appetite returns soon. PS Warren from Buffy is one of favorite villains of all time.
He was a good villain. 🙂
My weekend job as a teenager was in a bakery making donuts (doughnuts). Every second Saturday and every second Sunday I made these donuts – jam, cinnamon and chocolate donuts. As a consequence I was unable to eat a donut for 15 years afterwards. Thankfully now enough time has passed, from those little bombs of fat and sugar, to actually enjoy eating one – very occasionally.
I worked in a restaurant that sold chili dogs and had the same reaction for years. I can eat them now, though. Just not from that chain. haha.
Sorry I haven’t any advice to help you through this. It’s making a good deal of the world’s population sick, so you’re not alone. People demonstrated against the orange loincloth’s win here in front of the American embassy. Not our president-elect, but we’re close enough to feel the undulating waves of sheer nausea. The humble donut makes me happy too. Thanks for the video link (I was thinking about all the cracking noises my ankles and knees would make if I tried dancing that way. Would have to crank up the music!) You gotta switch to the dresses with the fake button fronts – no risk.
Oh god..I really do. Buttons are dangerous for me. And zippers. Probably snaps. And shoelaces.
“I don’t know if we are on a precipice or a horizon, but I do know that none of us are alone.”
This is one awesome motherfucking sentiment.
Thank you. I’m glad you are here. 🙂
heck, yeah I needed that sentiment this morning!
🙂
Donut shrapnel!!! Excellent!!
🙂
At the risk of being uninformed, I have been avoiding as much news as possible lately. I flip to the news before I go to bed and the first thing I see is that hideous orange face. I wake up in the morning, turn the TV on and there’s the same hideous orange dirtbag. I can’t even stand looking at him, so I change the channel to a shopping network (I feel that I’m certainly safe from Satan on a shopping network). I do get some information trickling into my brain here and there—the newspaper headlines, news that I hear on TV before I have a chance to avoid it. Right now, I have to do this for my own preservation. I am on overload with everything going on in my life and in the world in general. Thank you, however, for that great video! It did put a smile on my face (although, having been able to move like that at one time myself, I couldn’t help but think “oh, you poor kid, you have no idea what’s in store for your knees in the future—HAHA!!—but hey, dance your ass off while you can! Go for it!” God knows, I would do it all over again!) 🙂
And Buffy RULES!!!!!! She’s a demon slayer….maybe she’ll be headed for Washington D.C. in January. The Hellmouth is about to open there, no doubt about it.
Hahha..we need Buffy.
OMG, Michelle!! I am going to be thinking about your wood chipper and donut eating comment all day and giggle every time!!! My oh my girl, you are hilarious sometimes!! I love it. Love it. Now breathe 🙂
Oh, thank you for the reminder. I just took a deep breath.
One day when I was in sixth grade a kid said to me, “Did you know Christopher Columbus had four ships? The fourth one fell over the edge.”
I thought that was really funny. That afternoon I went home and said to my mother, “Did you know Christopher Columbus had four ships?”
Before I could say anything else she started trying to remember the names of his ships and the order they went in and other minutiae and got so engrossed she didn’t even notice when I walked away.
There’s a lesson there. I’m not exactly sure what it is but I know it’s there.
HAHAHAH. When you figure it out, let me know. I showed my boss a programming cartoon and he spent too much time trying to figure it out that he missed the punch line.
thanks, Michelle! I needed a break too. But if you had posted the first post, I would have been right there with you.
Warren was good, but evil Willow was AWESOME. We knew she would turn good again sometime, and while she was evil she OWNED it. She felt her power, and even when she stopped being evil, she kept being strong as shit. I wonder if I can ever be that strong?
Do you think we can get a coven of witches to turn us all in to Slayers and we can cut that evil mess to shreds?
We can dream…
When I went to the video I saw this one on the side and had to watch:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u8rOmvwFfEk
Let’s be the zebras in all of this…..
I will have to look at that when I get home. I can’t get to youtube at work. 🙁
Oh I love the video of that boy dancing! He moves so beautifully, and I’m a huge fan of the classic tailoring on his suit. None of that sissy looking short jacket or pegged legs, or the dress shoes with no socks look.
Yeah, he made me happy. 🙂
Antibiotic recovery tip – eat some Greek Yogurt with honey. The probiotics will re-populate your stomach and make it less queasy. Antibiotics kill all of the bacteria – including the stuff we need. If you hate yogurt, you can get some probiotic caplets, pop them open and mix the innards into some juice or other tasty drink. It really does help!
I wish I could! But I loathe yogurt with a fiery passion. I cannot gag that down. I have tried because I know it is good for me, but I just can’t.
I recall about 11 years ago when a Krispy Kreme shop opened in my town. I purchased one dozen which I ate in the time it took me to drive 2 miles. I knew I could never return again and that was the first and last time that I ever frequented a Krispy Kreme.
Oh man..those fresh Krispy Kremes are like crack.
You’re right, Michelle, we have to get back to some kind of normal. I am limiting my news intake for my own peace of mind. Of course, we know there will be no peace until he’s gone forever but, whatever the new normal is I’m ready to move on. Glad you had a nice day and evening.
b
We do..whatever normal is now. And thank you. 🙂
Hurray for donuts! Find peace wherever you can I say.
We’ve been listening to music a lot. Music is always food for the soul. We listen to music and remember moments in time. Music, TV, and reading. Mostly non political–a bit of politics so we don’t become mindless idiots, but other than that…it’s a nice cocoon.
I’m glad you’re starting to feel better! Great post as always 🙂
Thank you! Yes, music is always our saving grace.
Maybe you were thinking of Wallace Stevens. Laughter and poetry are needed.
Of the Surface of Things
Wallace Stevens, 1879 – 1955
I
In my room, the world is beyond my understanding;
But when I walk I see that it consists of three or four
hills and a cloud.
II
From my balcony, I survey the yellow air,
Reading where I have written,
“The spring is like a belle undressing.”
III
The gold tree is blue,
The singer has pulled his cloak over his head.
The moon is in the folds of the cloak.
very nice!
You are right on target. Today I saw Holocaust survivors giving advice on tolerance and it was basically do not hate anyone.
That’s just good advice.
According to Wikipedia, Warren Stevens was an actor who did a lot of TV, was in The Forbidden Planet, and was a founding member of the Actor’s Studio.
The cat just walked onto my keyboard and stood there while lots of t’s and y’s were appended to my email address…
I’ve been doing my best at writing about what this shitshow of an election is going to mean to us humans, but last night was Neko Case at the Fox Theater, and at for at least about four hours oops I’m about to lose my internet I’ll be back in about an hour.
I want to know about that! Did you get to your seat okay?
Yes, I did! The Fox Theater is fully ADA compliant, and what’s more, when I asked them if I would have any trouble, they told me to talk to their special ADA usher, who switched our tickets (which were for the back row in the mezzanine) for seats in the special ADA area one set of stairs up from the main floor. It was really quite an upgrade, and she (the usher) offered to let me use the special lift to get up and down the one staircase, but I didn’t need it. It was one week shy of a year since I saw The Joy Formidable at the winery in Sonoma, and as good as they took care of me there, last night was better.
Jon Rauhouse and Eric Bachmann, Neko’s multi-instrumentalists (guitars, steel guitars, keyboards and banjo for last night’s show) opened up with a sometimes hilarious set that was mostly about animals, and Kelly Hogan gets my nod for musical goddess.
They played 22 songs, including a kick-ass version of “Man” from her latest album right before the encore:
–
And if I’m dipshit drunk on the pink perfume
I am the man in the fucking moon
‘Cause you didn’t know what a man was
Until I showed you
–
So, yeah, there still are things in the world worth hanging around and fighting the good fight for. So please do remember to breathe.
The internet interruption was a crew sent by the landlord to upgrade our electrical outlets to new, shiny, GFI’s with built-in surge protectors. So that was sort of nice.
I hope you are feeling better today, because I would feel somewhat guilty for feeling this good otherwise…
I am GLAD you feel good. Positive energy my friend, we all need it. 🙂 I am so glad you were well taken care of and enjoyed your show!
Definitely trying to keep on those moments. They’re few and far between, but they’re slowly coming back. They tend to make more appearances when I block Facebook and Twitter, so maybe that might help.
Yeah…I have been spending less time on social media and it helps. I get so stressed by all the stories and vitriol.