I love search term Tuesday.
If you read my blog, you know that I often post conversations between me and my work friend who I have named Priscilla, Queen of the Cubicle. What my blog has taught me is this: People who search for ‘porn’ and ‘Priscilla’ are incapable of spelling ‘Priscilla’ correctly. Sometimes, porn isn’t a part of it..but still..Priscilla seems to be impossibly hard to spell.
Here are all the variations:
Pricella, Quern of the cubicle chicken I think I’ll start calling Priscilla a Quern. We should decide what quern means.
Priscalla pron I am only assuming that pron should have been porn. I think it’s a safe assumption.
Prescillia porn
Pricilia porn
That is nothing compared to the various ‘chicken porn’ searches. Chicken porn? I even said in my blog post that the words ‘chicken porn’ would yield some interesting searches, but I WAS ONLY KIDDING. Seriously, people? REALLY? Chicken porn is a thing?
fucking chicken porn
chickenporn
fuck the chicken porn Is this person just really tired of the chicken porn? Fuck the chicken porn!
I am having sex with a chicken porn How does a person get to this state?
chicken dick porn I am not sure what they want. Real chicken dicks? Humans with dicks like a chicken?
Randy is going to shake his head at this post. It’s like I am asking for unwanted traffic.
There were at least a few relatively tame yet bizarre searches:
Serial marrier issues Welcome to my tribe…you are home.
goag six garal I think that might be Klingon for ‘please take me to the best nonsensical blog in existence’. Or they were searching goat porn. I’m not even getting into the goat porn searches.
I’m subconsciously weird. Bring that shit to the forefront.
Narcissists don’t wear seat belts. I had no idea. In case you were wondering, here’s a test for you. Do you wear a seat belt? Yes? There you go.
Rubber shoes in the fridge. That’s right bitches…this blog goes in the fridge cause it’s cool…
I never get tired of the search terms. I love the raw glimpses into stranger’s brains. Although, some of you motherfuckers are weird.
“I’m not even getting into the goat porn searches.”
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You gave up just when you were ready to hit the jackpot.
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Hahahah…They were all a variation of ‘girl fucking goat video’ And there are a TON of them.
I really need to start using better tags on my posts so that people will get to my site through bizarre means. My search terms are pretty slim and ordinary. I am feeling much jealousy over your blog.
Hahahah…don’t be jealous…it’s just me.
This is hilarious! Such a good way to get a Tuesday morning going!
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Although…. I hate to burst your bubble but I think I MIGHT know why SOME of those people are searching SOME of those terms… There is a “dance party” orginization in Chicago called “Porn ‘n’ Chicken”. Don’t ask me what that means, but it is the truth. I have never been there and don’t care to go, but a friend of mine on Facebook shares their stuff all the time.
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Keep writing about it though! I want to see the how many more variations you can get!!!
Ahhhh…Porn N Chicken…
What the actual fuck?
How does Priscilla feel about this? Is the porn-fame going to her head?
Hahaha..she’s out today, I’ll have to ask her. I’m sure she’ll love it.
Thank god we have the internet. Otherwise where would we get our porn and cat videos? Sometimes I think the world isn’t so bad. Then I read the comments on any news article anywhere, or see some of the shit people retweet on Twitter, and I wonder how much a one way fare to some other planet would cost.
Some people are just astounding..I think a lot of us are broken or at least injured, but some people get broken and they lash out. I’m not gonna lie, those people disturb me and can leave me shaken.
Rule 34 of the Internet says: If a thing exists, you can find porn of it on the Internet. I learned this in a discussion of Care Bears villains.
Well…I can’t say that I’m surprised.
My soon-to-be-ex never buckles up until the car or I squawk at him. Hmmm…
Please tell us more about goat porn.
Oh god, you don’t want to know about the goat porn. I wrote a post about a goat quiz…but never goat porn…doesn’t seem to stop people from getting to my blog that way, though.
See, I can’t wait until my blog is popular enough to get ‘interesting’ searches……
quern – the bottom of an old celtic well that is now empty of water, but full of mystical beings.
Hmmmm…a mystical well…I like it.
*sucks a breath in through a grimace*
Disturbing. Blogger only has a link for “all time” stats where I can see these, but I haven’t seen anything there that would make me want to change my name and move to a gated community, yet.
Some people should have to pass a mental competency test before being allowed online.
Dude..you should see the searches I DIDN’T include. Holy hell.
ahhh no!
*rolls chairs violently back from desk*
Don’t worry, I won’t tell you about the one that said ‘I’m a girl will a goat fuck me’
Because that is just too weird to share.
I’m with Alien and Mary Anne….I would LOVE for my blog to get popular enough to get weird search keywords and spam commenters and all that good stuff. (Though if I look at my “all time” search keywords, apparently someone at some time stumbled upon my blog by searching “big, white ass”. I’m not sure what THAT’S all about, except I think the internets just insulted me.)
I think I get those searches because I write about weird stuff…
Oh…and this MAY just be a coincidence, but my latest post (that I posted on Sunday…before I even KNEW that chicken porn was a “thing”) is about a picture I took of an exit in Tennessee where you can see a “Boobie Bungalow” a place called “Show Girls” and a giant chicken all in the same shot….just click on the link below & you can see it for real.
I JUST read that! Great pictures!!
I’m quite certain that’s what “goag six garal” means. Quite certain. I get a lot of sickos looking to see moms pooping or Grandma’s pussy. Unless they are scatologists or Grandpa, it’s just wrong.
So very very very wrong.
On the other hand, these searches do make me feel a little more normal. Normalish.
I am apparently two years old, because I saw “chicken dick porn” and immediately thought, “Hehehe, chicken cock.”
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For reasons unknown to me, my photo blog has received hits from such search terms as “skeleton sex” and “studs in speedos”, which is especially confusing because I photograph mostly plants. (Again though, 2-year-old me cackled at “skeleton sex”, because I realized an equally alliterative synonym for that would be “bones boning.”)
HAHAH..boning. It would be boning, wouldn’t it?
Studs in speedos is horrifying just to think about.
So far the weirdest one on my current blog is “is that a salami in your pocket”, but that one’s entirely my own fault.
HAHAHAH…
I had one that was ‘eat my ass fudge’
No idea why
Love it!! Now, next time you do this, you will for sure get goat porn searches as well!!! Search term posts are always amusing!!
I get a ton of them already because I wrote a post about taking a quiz to see how many goats I am worth.
I just wrote a post about how to cope with teen drivers (http://dearannabler.blogspot.com/2014/07/dont-drink-and-drive-drink-after.html) and I would not recommend a Twitter search of #teens and #drive. Unless you are a fan of teen chicken porn or something. What a world…what a world…
*me melting*
Hahhah…going to check out that post now!
As always, you brightened my day – and it was in desperate need of brightening as the tears flowed nearly the whole way to work today !!
I must find out how to see what words people use when they find my blog !!!
Have a wonderful sleep !
Me xox
I am so glad that I brightened your day! Sorry it was a sad one…here’s hoping the next one is better, sister. 🙂
Yep, I think Randy’s probably right, I suspect a whole new wave of freakazoid weirdos will be heading this way shortly 🙂
I think once they see that I am not offering what they are looking for, they go away.
So the chicken porn gambit finally paid off in truly horrifying fashion? Perhaps thinking porn-y thoughts compromises one’s spelling ability.
Hahahah…yeah, that’s it..they are overcome and can’t spell
Sadly, and rather bizarrely, chicken porn is not only unsurprising, it’s something I was once exposed to…kind of. Actually, it was a porno centered around a dude wearing a little rubber chicken beak and strapped on arm wing things and big old rubber chicken feet. The couple who had rented this video (please do not ask me why, I’ve been tormented by that question for years) made everyone come witness the disturbing, yet awkwardly hilarious, creation. I won’t go into any detail, just know that it was the single most insane thing I have ever seen…
Shaking my head…I have no words.
Oh these were pretty funny. I need to pay more attention to how people find my blog. Currently winning is “Topless Turkish Women” but I’m sure there’ve been better ones….
Topless Turkish women is pretty damn good, though
Seriously. Fuck the chicken porn.
Fuck the chicken porn! I was laughing so hard at this! It is TOTALLY going to be my new motto – to be shouted out at random times to various douchbags. But I’ve got to get the inflection just right…Fuck the chicken PORN. Fuck the CHICKEN porn! FUCK the chicken porn – ah, that’s the one!
Oh, it is DEFINITELY: FUCK the chicken porn