I never drink wine.
I love wine, but I don’t drink it. It gives me a terrible headache. You know what else gives me a headache? Trying desperately to recharge after suffering from introvert’s overload.
The Bloggers At Midlife conference was held this weekend in Nashville, TN. I bought my ticket right after the conference was announced and then waited all Winter to attend.
The hotel was amazing and huge. Randy and I only got lost a few times trying to find our room and barely even argued with each other over it which is amazing since we had been stuck in traffic for over 2 hours. Seriously, the trip to Nashville should have taken just over 4 hours. It took us over 7.
My plan was to get to the hotel early and decompress in the room for a few hours and then go to the cocktail event Friday night. Instead, we got to the hotel just as the event was starting and all I had time to do was change out of my stinky travel clothes and tart my face up a little.
You guys, I forgot mascara.
We got two drink tickets upon arrival, but those drink tickets didn’t involve bourbon, so I bought my first drink. I figured a bourbon on the rocks would be a good substitute for watching an hour or so of bad TV with Randy.
I introduced myself to a few people and they were lovely. No one spit on me or asked why I was talking to them. I got to meet a few women I’ve met online through blogging and felt that I was ready to move away from the bourbon and use those free drink tickets. Sure, wine gives me a headache, but one or two? I’d be fine.
I got a glass of wine and told another attendee that I was feeling anxious about all the people. She obviously wasn’t one who suffers from social anxiety at all and suggested I introduce myself to a group of women sitting at a nearby table.
HAHAHAAFUCKINGHAHAHA
Like that was easy. I couldn’t just walk up to a whole table of people and start talking. I would rather shove a hot poker in Randy’s eye than do that. I would give Randy’s left nut to never have to introduce myself to strangers again.
Then I thought I can do this. I can talk to those women. They look nice. They don’t appear to be carrying weapons and I don’t think they’re secretly robots or zombies. I got this.
So I walked over and gestured to the empty chair with the hand that was currently holding a wine glass and the cutest clutch in the history of clutches.
I’m sure you won’t be shocked to hear that I dumped my wine all over the chair and the ground.
I laughed it off and sat down and proceeded to talk with some fascinating and friendly women. They were kind enough to not mention the flop sweat that had broken out over my forehead.
The conference was awesome. I was well informed, well fed and truly enjoyed meeting the people that I met. I wish I could have met more, but I know my limits. I actually skipped out a little early to avoid the ‘goodbye’ part. I hate the ‘goodbye’ part. I’m hoping when my emotional maturity comes in, shit like that will be easier.
You guys, I learned a lesson at this conference.
I learned that I completely suck at Pinterest.
I will admit that I don’t totally get Pinterest. I think I’ve followed a few boards, but I don’t know why. I love Pinterest, but mostly because it’s an easy way to look up new recipes or to look at pictures of Nornam Reedus.
I learned at the conference this weekend how to use Pinterest as a valuable social media tool. I learned that I should have multiple boards and pins for each board that fits the theme of the board.
I have two boards, one that I ignore and another one that has 14 different banana bread recipes on it. My board also has a shit ton of Daryl Dixon pictures and Doctor Who memes and an abundance of gravy recipes. I obviously am failing horribly at Pinterest.
I better see if Randy will spruce that up for me. I should probably stop threatening his left nut.
Even with the spilled wine, the conference was great fun. Connecting with other bloggers left me feeling inspired and exhausted. A good exhausted.
I have to say, this year is shaping up to be a rather satisfying year. So glad that I don’t believe in jinxes. Although I still thought of jinxes when I wrote that the year is shaping up nicely.
The audition for Listen To Your Mother went great. I was accepted to the cast and will be reading my essay on stage May 2.
I plan to have a full body freak out about that at a later date.
Jen Mann’s anthology I Still Just Want To Pee Alone comes out March 27th. I am so excited to be included in this book with so many talented writers. I will be nagging you all to buy a copy in just a few weeks. 
I think now, I will spend the rest of my evening watching bad TV with Randy and promising that I won’t ever really give his nuts away or stab him with a hot poker. Probably.
Well done you, I’d have hated that as it would just be way too big for me to deal with.
If that had been me the chances are very high I would have tipped the wine all over one of them instead.
I went to a gig alone on Saturday and got roped in to sitting with some other people who didn’t like the fact that I was sitting alone. I liked my table, I was comfortable being sat on my own in a corner but I went and joined them. I did have a good time, but it also raised my anxiety levels sky high and I’ve been very happy to have a day of solitude today.
I think I like being alone more than I like groups of people, particularly women, so I guess I am more of an introvert than people think I am.
Weird huh.
That sounds normal to me. I heard someone say that extroverts and introverts both can enjoy being with people…but extroverts draw their energy from being with people while introverts draw their energy from being alone.
Poor Randy! We’re gonna need to get that guy some serious goggles and a copiece to protect himself from you!
Hope we get to meet in person — so excited to be a fellow contributor with you in the ISJWTPA book!
Hahaha…don’t worry..he’s safe. I adore him.
And I am excited as well!!! I’m sure one day…I will run across a bunch of you awesome writers
Congratulations on the successful audition, and I hope you had fun in spite of your anxiety.
Thank you..I did have a really good time.
I was at that table and I had been searching for you since I got to Nashville. I’m so glad you leaped through your anxiety to come and be with us. I’m sorry I’m an obvious extrovert, but I think you’re the bomb! Congrats on Listen to your Mother!!! That’s fantastic! I will buy your book too! I love to laugh! Good times, Michelle!
I REALLY enjoyed meeting you and talking with you, Cathy!
I am just figuring out pinterest too. arg, By the time I post my blog to facebook, twitter, blogher, ravelry and pinterest I am exhausted.
I am glad you had a mostly good time,and I am glad Randy’s nut survived intact!
He’s glad it survived, too!
I love that you sat right down at that table even after spilling the wine! You are a rock star! I am getting better about approaching people in social situations, but afterwards I definitely need a good amount of time at home to restore the energy that is drained by being social.
I’m glad to hear of all these good things for you! Now I must go find out what this Pinterest thing is…
look at the rubber shoes in hell page for an example of how not to do pinterest. haha.
With all the nut talk, my left nut has now developed ascended social anxiety.
Haha…I promise…it’s safe.
For now.
Glad you had a good time! Omg about the wine spill! That is so what I would do. Only I wouldn’t bounce back from that like you did, so let me sprinkle you with admiration 🙂
Thank you! I think I recovered better than I usually do. The bourbon helped.
Congrats, Michelle! On both the conference, and Listen to Your Mother! I’ve bookmarked the site and can’t wait to hear some of the stories there. I’m an introvert, too. I hate social situations, especially when everyone else knows each other and I’m the newbie. It used to be like that when I had to attend my husband’s work functions, especially when he was a plant manager. They ALL knew who I was before I even got there, but I didn’t have a clue about any of them. Thank god for name tags, because I’m bad at remembering names as well.
Oh yeah…that’s bad..when everyone knows who you are..
I am bad with names as well..thank god we had name tags
I can relate. I’m a little awkward and introverted, too. I’m going to my first blogging conference in June. Oh, and I suck at Pinterest. I think we’re kin, somehow!
Oh, I hope you have fun at your conference! I really did….
So much good news!! Congrats on the conference, the book and the LTYM!!! Big things ahead for you my friend!!
Thank you so much! It’s been a little overwhelming, but in a good way.
Congratulations on all the good things that are coming your way 🙂
I have a long and illustrious history of social idiocy in such situations. The last incident was at an awards ceremony where my husband was due to collect the top award. We were at the ‘top’ table, right in front of 400 other people. I was trussed up in a cocktail dress and high heels. I do not do high heels! As the bloody things were pinching so much I slipped them off under the table, then had to put them back on again to scoot off to the ladies room. I thought the left one felt a bit tight, and assumed my foot had swollen up…as I stood to walk away from the table I took the table cloth, wine, glasses, dessert plates, table decoration, cutlery etc with me. Yep, had the table cloth stuck in my shoe. Shame there wasn’t an award for ‘biggest twat of the evening’, I would have owned that sucker!
OMG..that made me snort. I am laughing WITH you..not AT you…I promise.
I hope you and Randy both enjoyed your time here in Nashville. Sorry about the traffic. It’s usually not that bad. There was probably a backlog from the snow that shut everything down on Thursday.
And congratulations on the book and the successful audition. And for making it through your social anxiety enough to talk to some of your fellow bloggers. And try low-sulfite wines to avoid headaches. Yes, I am an enabler. Sometimes that’s a good thing.
it was road construction in Ky. And I had a great time…I really did.
Hmmm…low sulfate wine..I call that tequila.
You crack me up! I’m still laughing my ass off [don’t I wish] at ‘full body freak out’. Being one who suffers from anxiety & panic attacks I can relate. I am so glad I’m not the only wine spiller but I’m sure I’d have drenched the cute little clutch bag. Congrats on the audition! Carry on… As you do please.
Thank you so much!!
I’m sure I’ll be fine. at the very least, I have a few months to obsess over it.
Brava!! I have to give you huge props for getting out there and “just doing it”! At least you aren’t like me. When my social anxiety is in full throttle, I can’t eat! I lose my appetite and have a hard time choking food down. Then I get, “Why aren’t you eating? Are you okay?” Ugh! The experts tell you people aren’t thinking about you, they’re more worried about themselves. Apparently, they don’t lose their appetites under the strain. Ha! Congratulations on a successful trip and when you finally figure out the correct way to “Pinterest”, please post some instructions for us, too! I was never quite sure what the point of Pinterest was either, other than to spend a lot of time looking at pictures of clothes I will never be able to afford. 🙂
P.S. You forgot your mascara??!! Holy crap, if you have to forget something, let it be blush! You can always pinch your cheeks all night long! Haha!!
Right? Mascara is so important!
And thank you! It gets easier and easier (except for when it’s not) I only had a few moments of panic. I was so exhausted when we got home, though..I really need a few more days to recharge..
Oh, yeah. We introverts drain out around an overwhelming crowd. You have to have that recharge station ready and waiting and then USE it. Wishing you relaxation and calm, soothed nerves! 😉
I am SO proud of you for your new book 🙂 And I hear you on the Pinterest shit. I work on it, but I can’t get the rhythm. Twitter is more for me.
Yeah, Twitter is my favorite social media site…but I’m sure I don’t do that right either. I rarely think about hash tags.
I had such a great time hanging out with you Michelle! I see we both skipped out early but I learned so much! I have alot of work to do! I’m so glad you came and that I got to meet you, you know before you get all famous and shit and only travel with an entourage!
HAHAHA…I think I’m pretty fucking far from entourage…
It was awesome meeting you! I think we are kindred spirits. 🙂
OH HELL YES, congrats on your casting!
That takes some balls (yours AND Randy’s) to go to a conference like that, and talk to a whole bunch of strangers. I’m glad you went, and had fun.
I have a Pinterest so I can find pictures on it without that stupid window telling me I need a Pinterest to see anything. I don’t pin things. I don’t have boards, other than whatever it made me set up in order to give me an account. I’ve also told nobody that I have one, beauase I’ve got a coworker who said Pinterest to me enough times in one day that I said “If I hear the word Pinterest one more time I’m going to pistol whip somebody” and she was smart enough to intuit I meant her.
HAHAH…yeah..I still don’t get it. Randy is cleaning mine up, though. He drags me kicking and screaming into all kinds of social media. I’m not doing google + though. Nope. And no Ello. That was dumb.
That clutch is fabulous! I love it! You should definitely pin it when you get Pinterest up and rolling. I met you briefly at the cocktail party and don’t think anybody would have noticed a lack of mascara. Can’t wait to read more from you and to get my copy of I Still Just Want to Pee Alone at the end of the month. I was overwhelmed by the amount of stuff I didn’t know and feel like my to-do list is a mile long. Wishing you the best at Listen to Your Mother. Congrats!
Hi Krysta!! Thank you so much!!
My list is long as well..it’s a good thing we like doing this. Right? RIGHT???
You were one of my absolute favorite women at the conference! So glad to have met you over spilled wine and the most adorable clutch EVER.
Hi Lorraine! So glad to see you here! Thank you so much.
And it is an adorable clutch, right? 🙂
I love when I come across a kindred spirit.
I loved the “I would give Randy’s left nut…” I have tears- I’m laughing so hard. I never though of exchanging my hubs left nut (or right for that matter.) Too funny!
Haha…thank you!!! I’d trade his right one for a Klondike bar.
I hear you on Pinterest. Really excited about the book, and I wish I had gone to the conference! Randy’s a very good sport, I must say.
Thank you! I wish you had been there, too!
Oh well…there will be other conferences on other days, right?
Randy is a good sport, he really is and he knows his anatomy is safe.
That is very nearly true.
HA, if you had sat next to me, I’d have taken the blame for spilling the wine—something I do all the time. It WAS a great conference. I think the lesson we all learned is that we all suck at something AND that it is OK!! I may have to now learn Instagram.
Oh man..I know NOTHING about instagram…
I think we would all be surprised at how many introverts there are among us (raising my hand). I think we got to speak for about a nanosecond but I’m glad we met and I hope to see you again!
We did get to meet briefly! I hope we run into each other again as well…maybe even have a few minutes to chat.
Your post is so funny! I wish we could have talked…next conference. Deal? By the way, I spill everything all the time. I consider myself talented that way. It’s a nice way to make a “splashy” entrance!
Deal!! and yes..it was quite the splashy entrance. 🙂
Hey there ratsass! I was so happy to meet you in the light that I went from extrovert to extreme extrovert just to counterbalance. I did notice we did not get a chance to say “so long.” So I will simply keep reading your blog so I can still tell people I know you. Oh, and I met Randy. You said look for the good-looking, tall, stud muffin, right? The guy wearing your mascara…… I hope it was the right man as I did not have all the descended, cut off testicle info at the time to be sure.
I LOVED meeting you! And I’m sorry we didn’t get to say goodbye..but I bet we run in to each other again one of these days.
Hey, congratulations on being accepted to Listen to Your Mother. I look forward to hearing what you have to share!
Thank you! We have our first rehearsal next week.
What do they say? No crying over spilt wine.
Okay. I have cried over spilt (spell check is telling me this isn’t a word, but I googled it. 🙂
wine especially if it’s all that was in the house. It relieve my headaches rather than giving me one. Love that clutch and meeting you. Look forward to your posts — you had quite the fans. Most impressive.
Thank you so much! It was so nice to meet you, too!
Look at you, being all social and shit! I’m glad you had fun and learned new things. PS – if I was on a deserted isle and could only bring one item of makeup, it would totally be mascara. I’ll have a natural rosy glow when my face starts to crack, swell, and peel from the sunburn I’m sure to get.
Hahaha. Yeah, I need foundation. I have uneven skin…I’m all blotchy. It’s attractive