I’m not going to say the song stuck in my head this morning is the worst song ever made, but it’s still goddamn bad. I always have an earworm, also known as musical imagery repetition, involuntary musical imagery and stuck song syndrome.
Oh my god, you guys. I did research! It was only the first paragraph of the wiki page about earworms, but still. Go me!
Anyway, mostly, I don’t mind the music that plays in my head, but when the song is One Tin Soldier, then my brain is just being a dick.
If you are around my age, then you know the song. If you don’t know the song, then do yourself a favor and don’t listen to the song. Seriously. It’s horrible.
One Tin Soldier was on the soundtrack for the movie Billy Jack which wasn’t the worst movie ever made, but still fucking horrible.
When I was 10 years old, though, I loved One Tin Soldier. I knew every word. Which means I still know every word and, every once in a while, my brain insists on putting the song on repeat. Sometimes (often) my brain is a dick.
Since my brain insisted I listen to this song on repeat, I spent my morning commute considering the words. First, I realize it is an anti-war song. I get that. I get that sometimes when people write, they use symbolism, or they say one thing and mean another. I get it. But still.
I am in no way excusing the valley people. They were monsters.
The mountain people, though? I mean, they were stupid.
First of all, why bury the words “peace on earth” beneath a boulder? Why? How does that make sense? And when the valley people sent a message that basically said “Hey, we know you have riches buried under that big rock and we want it. Kthxbye” the mountain people could have cleared that shit right up! “Oh, I see the problem. You think we have actual riches buried beneath the stone. No…no, no riches here. We just buried words. I have no idea why. Seriously. I can’t find a single mountain person who thinks that makes sense.” Then they could have all gone about their business and avoided the slaughter.
The valley people did escalate the whole thing fast. They sent the one note and then immediately went and killed all the mountain people. No negotiating or anything. The disappointment of just finding the words “Peace on Earth” instead of untold riches probably would have been easier to take if they weren’t all tuckered out from the slaughtering.
Again, I am not condoning the slaughter. I’m just saying, the mountain people could have actually shown the messenger what was beneath the rock. But no, no, instead they tell the mountain people, and I am paraphrasing here, but they tell them “Fuck off. We’re only sharing our riches with each other. Go away.”
How is that a peace on earth message? How? If you want something to spread all over the earth then you can’t bury it under a rock and then tell people to fuck off. The planning on all of this was stunningly bad.
Okay.
I feel better now. Please continue your day. If you are humming One Tin Soldier now, then I’m sorry.
A little.
I’m not sorry. Misery and company and all.
Will. NOT! Go. There!
OMG, I HATED “One Tin Soldier” almost as much as “Kung Fu Fighting”…
Oh noooooo! Everybody was kung fu fighting – hyah!
Those chicks were fast as lightening – yah!
Now you’ve done it Michelle!!!
Kung Fu Fighting. Oh god…Randy sings that to me every once in a while because it sticks. Asshole. hahaha
Huh. I got all the way through your post and was congratulating myself because I don’t know that song so no ear worm and then BAM. Kung Fu Fighting. Damn it! Going to have to turn Elton on. He’s a good worm.
Hahahhahaha…Hold me closer tiny dancer.
Hold me closer, Tony Danza?
Hahah..that’s a good one!
First, off. There were NO sucky songs in the ’70’s.
Are you fucking with me right now???
*loudly – Skyrockets in flight… da-dum …Afternoooooon DELIiighghGHT!!!!*
Had to fix ‘Tin Soldier’ ….
I love your Wikipedia research and your wise use of your time on your commute.
It’s gonna be a great day!
(You gotta sing it like the sausage commercial!! 🙂 )
Hahahah…and there were some horrid songs. She’s having my baby?? GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH
THANK YOU for this Monday, much needed, coming back for more all day, post.
I fucking LOVE you!!!
YAY!!! Happy Monday. Or not. Because Monday.
But…..we had joy, we had fun, we had seasons in the sun! HAHAHA!!!! Depressing lyrics and total shit song at the same time!!! Bring on the ear worms baby!!! 😀
Seasons in the sun was horrible as well…Goodbye Michelle, it’s hard to die….HAHAHA
Oh, GOODY!!
George is up 🙂
*pets George’s fur the wrong way*
I MADE myself be patient and wait nicely for you to get here!!
Ready to …wait for it….
“Do the Hustle!”
*Bum -pum -bum-pa-dum-da pum da dum*
😉
*buzzing from the static electricity in my wrong-way rubbed fur* Haha!
Actually, I was a dancer for most of my life, so The Hustle and I have a relationship going WAY back! “Oooooooooooo! DO it!” 😀
Disseminating lyrics is such a fun and funny thing to do really. Like Journey’s “Anyway You Want It”, “she loves the lovin’ things” and “we sang about the lovin’ things”. WTF is that supposed to mean? What are “lovin’ things”? Is that the state of being in love, making love or are those the particular body parts for “lovin'”? HAHAHA!!!!
I’ll just be over here in the corner LOVING that song. And the movie.
So, go ahead and hate your neighbor. Go ahead and cheat a friiiiend.
I’m going to put this foot and whop you on that side of your face.
That’s good stuff, man 🙂
MacArthur Park. That’s the worst one. Cake out in the rain and shit.
I am standing by that it is HORRIBLE…and I will try to dodge the foot, but I’m old, soooooo…and yes MacArthur Park is also horrible.
MacArthur Park wasn’t so bad, it was just so fuckin long.
Yeah..I mean, not In A Gadda Da Vida long, but still..
I’m with you. I loved One Tin Soldier. McArthur Park was weird to me, even as a child.
I just assume MacArthur Park was written by very very stoned people.
I also loved that song when I was kid, but yeah, makes me cringe now. But if you want a real golden gasser from the Seventies, I give you”Ma Belle Amie” by Tee-Set. https://youtu.be/Bioah3q7JOk
Oh man…yeah..not good. Not good at all.
But who IS that one tin soldier? And did he turn his back on the whole sordid mess because he was disgusted with the lot of them? Or was he pissed off? Or just couldn’t be arsed?
WTF us the moral of the story we obedient children listened to and were forever condemned to suffer as en ear worm ?
I have no idea who the one tin soldier is. I’m guessing it was Billy Jack
“Tin ROOF! Rusted!” We need to pull everyone’s minds away from the ear worm of B.J. and that other “song”!!! I’m not even gonna say it. I had to “soldier”–har, har– through it when I was in middle school, dammit. Admit it, wouldn’t you rather have Love Shack, (or ANY B-52s song for that matter) embedded in your brain pan? OMG, I love the B-52s! HAHA!
I LOVE the B-52s!
Somehow I escaped the ’70’s without ever hearing “One Tin Soldier”. The only reason I know it–and I’m not listening to the whole song–is from the commercials for the Freedom Rock album. It was one of the few songs on the album I didn’t recognize, and one that, weirdly, I’ve still never heard even though a roommate had the album and played it incessantly.
Still from your summation it makes perfect sense. If you’ve got love and peace and kindness you wanna keep that shit buried under a rock and not go giving it out to some weird stranger.
You’re so lucky you don’t know it. Part of me is jealous.
Ear worm I like that instead of saying ‘you know when a song gets stuck in your head and you end up humming it all day and you don’t even like it’? So succinct!
With the Olympics in Brazil, you know one of the worst ear worms will be happening, The Girl from Ipanema.
I LOVE that song, though. I LOVE it…it feels like Summer and smells like the beach.
I am not of an age group that was subjected to this originally, and I made a decision not to press play.
I KNOW I am prone to ear worms, and I don’t want to be humming this next year because of one bad decision today.
You chose wisely. Trust me.
No, no, noooo! I am now humming that at work! Try to block it out by going back to my earworm of the last couple weeks, “Little Red Corvette”!
Oh man…yeah, I’ve had Prince going quite a bit..but mine is Take Me With You.
Sorry about the earworm. A little.
WInchester Cathedral . AAAUUUGGH !!!! From the first time I heard that song I knew it was going to be with me forever. It SUUUUCKKS !!! Makes me want to do a Van Gogh but even that wouldn’t stop it. Crap, now I’m gonna have a bunch of shitty songs running around in my head all day.
Which brings us to the Don Mclean song Vincent..also a horrible seventies song.
How dare you! That’s going to be ringing in my head all day now. I loved the Billy Jack movies and remember thinking what a wonderful song this was. An anthem to peace and love to all the world.
It really does suck, doesn’t it?
It sucks so bad. And sorry about the earworm. Kind of.
Oh nooo! Now I’m going to have all of these songs stuck in my head! But maybe one will replace Stayin’ Alive, which would be a good thing. (I think?) That one comes back around every 2 or 3 days lately for absolutely no identifiable reason. Except maybe to compete with Raspberry Beret, which is at least not a sucky 70s song. Uuugh! Out, out damn earworms!
I think we’ve all have had Prince earworms lately. 🙁
OK, first I hope you had a good mother’s day, and second, you can’t blame the ’70s for one bad song. Even though there were some horrible songs on the radio (remember that?) back then. There are always truly bad songs that are popular, and I don’t want to think about that too much because it erodes my faith in humanity…
When I think of songs from the ’70s that have been stuck in my head for extended periods, I think of songs like Radar Love by Golden Earring and We’re An American Band by Grand Funk Railroad, not really that unpleasant at all. Then there’s most of the Elton John catalog…
One Tin Soldier did blow, but I always used to wash it out of my ear with some Led Zeppelin or Yes.
No doubt, the seventies produced a fuck ton of great music..but it also had it’s share of solid crap. Haha.
I had a lovely mother’s day, thank you! 🙂
First off, yes, not a great song. Especially the Kenny Rogers version that my class got in trouble for “imitating” instead of the music instructor’s version that didn’t have the “ooooh oooh” before the riding away part… but I digress.
I must take up for those mountain people, though. They didn’t say FO! They said they’d share! They’d SHARE! They tried to be nice and what did it get them?
Came the answer from the kingdom,
With our brothers we will share,
All the riches of the mountain,
All the treasure buried there.
I guess the mountain people had not watched Swiss Family Robinson. Maybe they couldn’t get signal up there? But if they had, they surely could have defeated the Valley people as the Family defeated the Pirates — from up high on that hill…
Again, I digress. This is what happens when you take me back to the 70s. Now where’s my bike with the banana seat?
See? Now I always took ‘with our brothers we will share’ as the other mountain people. And what about the goddamn sisters? Can’t they have peace on earth?
okay, now a song and the word earworm are stuck in my head. 😉
I’m a giver.
Just reading your title filled me with equal parts dread and itching curiosity, so I had to read on. Ugh. Now I have a noggin full of bad tunes…thanks everyone! Hated that fucking tin soldier song too, and so many more. I take offense to the bashing of Kung Fu Fighting. I had the 45 -cuz it was so weird and I was about 11 years old, people! It still makes me smile. It doesn’t get categorized with Springsteen, Genesis, Black Sabbath etc. Every decade has its share of groaners. Sometimes it takes another artist’s or group’s cover to save a song…but that’s a whole other post, right M? (Let’s all join hands and pray Tin Soldier remains rusting in its grave)
Covers…oh yes..that is a whole post. I am going to piss off the world now…but Randy and I disagree about a cover. Sweet Jane. I adore Lou Reed. Yes, he was a god. Yes, Sweet Jane by Lou Reed is awesome. But I will ALWAYS love the Cowboy Junkies cover of Sweet Jane more than Lou Reed’s original vision. Randy calls me a blasphemous..
Agree to disagree. They are both great.
It’s more fun to disagree. 🙂
I just had to click the fucking button! You should no better than to put that kind of pressure on your readers! I’m sharing it with my husband because of the old misery company theory. I’ll let you know if it works haha!
Am I horrible that I really REALLY hope it works?
I have resisted clicking play as I know I will hate it already.
One of my lecturers is partly responsible for Kung Fu Fighting and a couple of other horrors.
🙂
Yeah, if you don’t know it, then you don’t want to hear it.
it took me most of the 80’s to get that horrible song out of my head. You are a horrible person and I hope red ants invade your favorite shoes and torment you for all eternity.
Here’s my revenge: Billy, Don’t Be a Hero
Hah!
I shall swat that away with ease and counter with Last Kiss…
Okay, I didn’t swat it away. It’s playing as I type this. Actually, it’s a weird Billy and Last Kiss mash up.
I think I love you. Hah! Sucky song from David Cassidy AND my feelings for you. I found you through a Fb re-post of “What not to wear after 50”. No shit! I lived through it with enough brain cells left to know better than to tell the stories! (Not really sure about the statue of limitations or now ex-wives wrath!) House dress = hubby’s flannel shirt and underwear if I have any clean ones!
Hahah…thank you!! I had such a crush on David Cassidy. Sigh.
And yet no one has mentioned the one song that I have to this day not heard all the way through. Midnight at the oasis, send your camel to bed….
This one time I rocketed through 3 rows of seats in a commuter van to change the radio station because the driver refused to change the station. I endangered all of us in that van just so I would not hear that suckiest of all suck song.
HAHAHHAHA…I think I still know all the words to that song as well.
Hmm, we should move on to MondeGreens. … Wrapped up like a douche, another rumor in the night. … I’ve got, TWO CHICKENS TO PARALYZE …… yeah, get THAT out of your head.
HAHAHAH…two chickens to paralyze. THAT is hilarious.
Yikes. I remember that song. Already stuck… help.
I can’t help you…you just have to wait until that one tin soldier rides away.
I think this is one of your best! Your answer to Laurie@Musings, Rants and Scribbles was way too deep for sobriety…
Ann of David Cassidy Comment: Oh! You are gonna LOVE it here!! Glad you found Rage-M. I do recommend that you DO NOT have a mouthful of coffee while reading, especially if the title seems to good to be true… Rage-M is sneaky like that. You WILL wipe your screen.
🙂
Beth – ‘Two Chickens to Paralyze’ is my new favorite singing comeback. I will be using it for the answer to the next un-answerable question I get.
I can now officially retire ‘Because because because because because…. because of the wonderful things she does… bum – pum – pum – pum.’
(You have to sing the ‘bum – pum – pum – pum’ part just like the orchestra)
I first heard “One Tin Soldier” at a midnight showing of Billy Jack at which everyone was high. I thought the song was stirring and Billy Jack another Casablanca, only more heroic. So don’t burst my bubble! ” Go ahead and hate your neighbor ….”
Yeah, I am pretty sure if you watched it again you might be seeing it through different eyes. Unless you get high first. Even then, I bet you’d still hate it.
Oh my …literal tears from laughing out loud . You have perfectly and eloquently unraveled the legend of BillyJack in 3 short paragraphs . Brilliant .
Next let’s tackle the delicate art of memorizing song lyrics in the 60’s and 70’s. Not for the faint of heart.
HAHA…Thank you so much! I just couldn’t STOP singing that song and when I really considered the lyrics I thought…what the FUCK mountain people…just turn the fucking stone over and SHOW them..sheesh.
You got it wrong. The mountain people said “with our brothers we will share” – and they meant the valley people were their brothers, but the valley people were so evil they attacked without reason.
I assumed they meant the mountain people were their brothers. I can accept I misunderstood that…but they STILL could have cleared it up by just telling them there was no riches. I mean, if we take the song as an event that literally happened that way.
Otherwise known as ‘brain sabotage’.
I used to play it with my friends during the days of answering machines. It usually involved singing ad jingles (e.g., Campbell soup, oscar mayer) or old tv shows (Adams Family, The Lone Ranger) into someone’s answering machine. No caller ID back then, so they heard the taped message blind when they came home from work. And the next day (or 3 days) they were humming the tune… GOLD! 😀
It really sucks though when you do it to yourself.
Good luck with that. 😉
BTW, just stumbled upon your blog… thanks! It’s well done.
GENIUS! And thank you! I’m glad you’re here!
PEOPLE….have you forgotten about “Feelings” by Morris Albert. Should be in the suckies song hall of fame…at the very top.
Oh god…that was horrible. HORRIBLE. And She’s Having My Baby…holy hell, what a horrible song.
Just found your blog, rolling around like a drunk puppy. Been reading this to my hubby and he’s laughing his ass off too. Although we both sort of loved Innagoddadavida. I’m just gonna roll with everything ever by Elton John. Then the earworms are happy and soothing. Even if I have no idea what the deal was with Captain Fantastic and the Brown Dirt Cowboy.
Awesome! I am so glad you are here!