That might be an exaggeration.

Priscilla, Queen of the Cubicle is finally back to work. 6 long weeks of toughing it out on my own was hell. I missed her terribly, but don’t tell her I said so, she’ll get the big head.

I walked in from the parking lot with her on her first day back and felt genuine sadness for her. It had to be hard to come back. On the other hand, HAHAHAHFUCKINGHAHA. Because I’m a good friend.

She came back in time for safety week. We had daily meetings in our lobby about safety which taught me a lot and probably changed my life.

Or not.

Priscilla didn’t come to any of the meetings, so I had to fill her in afterward. This instant message conversation had to do with the fire extinguisher talk.

Me: OMFG that was so worthless. Why weren’t you there?

PQOTC: I dunno. I didn’t even know it was safety week.

Me: Here’s my favorite piece of advice: The most important thing to remember if you have a house fire is the best way to exit your house.

PQOTC: …

Me: Because every fucking morning I run around the house yelling HOW DO I GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE? Sometimes, I use the window.

PQOTC: Sometimes I run to the basement and hide.

Me: I can’t come to work today. I forgot how to front door.

PQOTC: Shhh..I’m hiding.

Me: Here’s another one: After a few years, your extinguisher should be physically okay.

Me: But emotionally and spiritually, it’s in a bad place.

PQOTC: Bahahaha

Today was the last talk. It was about nutrition. Unfortunately, it wasn’t about how to not choke on donuts. We did get fruit, though.

I can’t complain too much. It’s Friday, Priscilla is back and the safety talks gave my eyeballs a good work out every day. Although, I’m surprised I didn’t sprain one or both of them with the professional level eye rolling I was doing.