My old lady hormones are fucking with me so hard.
A year ago, I thought I cried over everything. That was an extreme exaggeration. Because I cry over every fucking thing these days.
I decided to write down every time I cried over something the entire month of July. I’m curious to see how this post will look at the end of the month. It will probably be my longest one yet. Y’all are going to get bored.
Anyway, here they are…things I cried over in July:
An America’s got talent clip of an 84 year old man who sang a song about penis. The song was funny, but then all four judges gave him a ‘yes’ and the old guy was all happy. I don’t even LIKE those stupid talent shows. Randy asked me to watch it because he thought it was hysterical. He even gave it a ‘no cry’ guarantee. Apparently, my hormones took that as a challenge.
That goddamn video about the elephant.
The Sopranos. Carmella is remembering Anthony Jr as a child on a big wheel. Joey never even had a big wheel. Which is making me all teary again, Why didn’t I get him a fucking big wheel?
My adult son lost his job. This one is hitting hard. He’s been through so much. We’ve been through so much. This is tears with some major anxiety. Like ‘taking xanax as it is prescribed’ anxiety. I can’t blame this one on old lady hormones.
I can’t talk about that one.
Or that one.
Doctor Who. I re-watched The Angels Take Manhattan. I miss Rory and Amy.
A Palestinian woman reading a poem in response to a reporter asking why she taught hate to children.
A mural of Malala Yousafzai that depicts her as Rosie The Riveter.
Adam Sandler. Love Reign O’er Me by The Who played on the radio and it made me think of the scene in Reign Over Me where Adam Sandler was sitting in the court room screaming that song because he was forced to remember that his wife and children were killed. Fucking hell, getting teary again thinking of it.
Joe Strummer. Randy made a CD for our grocery store trip that was just a bunch of different versions of Go Straight To Hell by The Clash. I love it when Joe Strummer pants. And now he’s DEAD. He’d only be 60. We could have gotten so much more from him. I’m very sad he died. In 2002.
Run you clever boy and remember me.
The video of the man whose grandfather was a Nazi.
A video of two young teenage girls, one Jewish and one Muslim, about religious stereotypes. You all need to watch this. I’m still leaking about the eyes.
Looking up all the links for this post.
Looking at a picture of my younger son from when he was two. I was on the treadmill. I see this picture every day.
A video of a little girl who sobs when she finds out her baby brother won’t always be a baby. I feel you little sister.
Now, here we are…the last day of July. This is list isn’t conclusive, but honestly, writing them all down would have been ridiculous. I would have had to include dust bunny incidents and a vibrant shade of blue.
Today is my older son’s 27th birthday. He found a new job that he starts tomorrow. We’re ending July on a positive note.
Which makes me feel weepy. Fucking hell.
Oh, Michelle, you old softie.
I cried when Joe died. And most recently, Lou Reed. For days. Then I read Laurie Anderson’s tribute to him in Rolling Stone and I cried again.
I have a song I listen to any time I need a good cry. I don’t know why exactly it makes me cry — the lyrics are heartbreaking, sure. Her delivery is powerful and anguished, and the noisy guitar is like a heartbeat pounding. I get chills and a little weepy every time I hear it.
http://youtu.be/Mu0kze2w5mc
Enjoy your cry, darling. It’s cleansing.
No way am I listening to that now…I’m at my desk. But I will when I get home.
The Tracey Ullman video..They Don’t Know About Love makes me cry EVERY. TIME.
No idea why, it just does.
And KD Lang singing Hallelujah…that makes me cry every time
Jeff Buckley’s Hallelujah does it for me… I miss him so much.
Yeah, that’s an amazing one as well. I miss a lot of them. I mean, really…ALL THE RAMONES?? All of them?
Well it’s a good thing you didn’t watch Sharknado 2: The Second One or else you’d be crying over the loss of those two hours of your life, too.
I was actually pleased to see Amy and Rory go away. They were around way too long (2 1/2 seasons) and The Doctor became a secondary character to the soap opera that was his companions.
I loved Rory and Amy. I missed them terribly…but things do need to move on, don’t they?
Hahahah..I can’t imagine watching Sharknado..but if I did, I don’t THINK I would cry. But you never know.
The songs will get you every time. There’s a whole long list of songs I can’t listen to without tearing up (Wildfire, Brandy, Lonely Boy). (Yes, I am a child of the 70s).
Wishing you a less teary August.
I don’t think it’s going to be less teary. But I’m getting a little more used to it. I’ll take the tears over the goddamn hotflashes any day…if I had a choice.
I’m glad it’s not just me that’s such a softie, most of those videos had the same effect on me. I’m not menopausal yet allegedly, but I just cried at this blog and the Samuel L Jackson (every MF) video you posted….which is hardly sentimental but obviously it is to me 🙂
I’m so glad this month has ended on a good note for you and your son.
HA! WHY??? Why would we cry over motherfucker? I got misty as well…what the fuck?
fucking Mr Rogers’ remix on my iphone made me lose it last week.
He was a damn good man.
HAHAHAH…I swear I am NOT laughing at you.
I’m kind of laughing at you. And I’m not gonna find it and watch it because I will have to laugh at me too.
So, you’re telling me that I’m going to cry MORE as I get older? I don’t even know if that’s possible. Wtf.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news..but yes..the tears do become a frequent companion.
I was a sloppy mess for Hallelujah (by almost any cover) until my daughter sent one of her comedy sketch team’s videos. (She’s the writer.)
http://youtu.be/PpWBSfk23qE
Have to admit that I just can’t squeeze out the Hallelujah tears any more…
Oh my! I LOVE this!!!
Crying is cleansing, but sometimes it’s easier to cry from laughter.
I decided I was going to watch all the videos you posted, but I shouldn’t have started with the elephant video. Elephants are one of my passions, and I don’t have a lot of passions.
Might have to wait until the tears dry before watching your other videos.
Yeah..that is a tough one!
Wow… I thought PREGNANCY was bad!
I still get weepy when Connie Valenzuela (Rosana Desoto) loses her shit when she hears on the radio that her son Richie Valens died in that plane crash. Kills me every time… since 1987.
NOT MY RICHIE!!!
Oh man…I lose it when I see that.
I used to cry all the time when I wasn’t medicated. Now that I am medicated I understand that things are very sad and meaningful, but I have trouble crying. It takes a lot to make me cry now and part of me misses it. I’m still in the process of knowing what my new normal is now that I am medicated. Is it normal for it to be hard to cry? My mom was out and out sobbing in front of me the other day and I felt nothing. I was actually happy but a bit uncomfortable with her display of emotion that I couldn’t express.
Could it be menopause? Is it something deeper? Or are things very stressful, like job dissatisfaction and job loss? My husband lost his job last year and I cried and screamed for hours after finding out. I was so scared. That lasted for a long time. I think that’s normal. Yes.
I have a weird relationship with crying. There is NOTHING wrong with crying…yet the thought of crying in front of people who aren’t my closest people is mortifying to me. It gets harder and harder to keep that shit in check. I think there is something cathartic about crying, I just wish it didn’t end in a thumping headache every goddamn time.
Sheldon crying always makes me cry, and Sheldon was crying yesterday and today.
.
I need vodka. *sigh*
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I still cry over that damnable Folger’s commercial where the big brother sneaks home for Christmas and makes the coffee.
.
My mother was a crybaby so I figure it’s genetic. Yeah, that’s my story and I’m sticking to it.
.
Get used to the tears. I’m no longer ‘peri’ menopausal and the hormonal thing still sucks.
🙁
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DAMMIT! If only I had an attractive ‘cry face’…
First, I am doing this. August. The month of my crying all the time and telling people about it. I cry ALL the time. This could be good for me.
Second, now I think I have to watch Reign Over Me. I should, right?
it’s really good…but fucking hell….sad sad sad
I love to cry…and to talk about crying. After my Dad died I wrote a post about crying called The Quality Of My Tears. If it’s okay with you, I’ll share the link.
absolutely! Any time, sister
http://www.kclanderson.com/the-quality-of-my-tears/
Oh my, so many of these things would make anyone cry. And then there are those commercials of children phoning parents from university, or old couples dancing at a beatles’ tribute, or videos of my 65 year old sister swimming the English Channel.
Drat, off to get kleenex..
There is nothing wrong with your hormones. You are fucking human and have feelings and that is a good thing.
Great news about your son, btw!
Thank you so much…I am breathing so much easier…It kills me to see him struggle.
Your 65 year old sister swam the English Channel?
I’m 64, and proud of myself when I walk or ride my bike to work! 🙂
That IS impressive and something wonderful to cry about.
That is pretty fucking impressive, right?
dammit. now I’m at work at my desk trying not to have all the sads.
Ohhh…I should have put a disclaimer to NOT watch the videos unless you were free to cry…
First. Tears of JOY for your son getting a job. WOOT!
I cried in July…hmmm…mostly all at once, for like 24-hours straight, right through a WHOLE NIGHT, because of, well, money. Or the giant stifling overwhelming lack of it. But they make that stuff every day, the world’s not going to stop turning, and we have our health, right?
I do cry more easily at stuff than I used to (which was never), so I just don’t even open those links to stuff that could make me cry.
I also try to strictly avoid: The news. Emails with fluffy kittens and poetry. Looking at the stuff I haven’t gotten done in the garden. My scale.
Other than that, s’all good.
I know!! I am so pleased that particular crisis passed. And don’t look at ANY OF THESE LINKS..
except maybe the penis song. You should be okay with the penis song.
Don’t feel alone, Michelle. I’m right there with you. I’m either laughing like a loon, crying like a baby, or really, really pissed off. Hormones are awful. I couldn’t watch that elephant video. I had my day, right smack in the middle of Panera, reading the post about the last day of a dog’s life. Don’t look it up…..
Oh..I will NOT look at that. I’ve seen it posted all over facebook and I’m like…fuck that..no no no NO
I wish I cried over stuff that actually matters, but I never do. I’ll get super angry or sad or determined or inspired, but I’m always dry-eyed. When tears do threaten, it’s only over the absolute stupidest things. I’m really tired of losing my shit over So You Think You Can Dance. Travis Wall is the reason I’m always out of Kleenex.
HAHHAHA…I cry over the mother/son dances at wedding receptions. It’s like I can’t NOT watch them.
There’s a Rilo Kiley song called I Never where Jenny sings:
…And all of the beautiful things
That make you weep, but don’t have to make you weak.
It’s not really a weep-inducing song, and last I checked there were some good live versions of it on youtube (the live versions have better guitar).
Glad your son found a job, that really is good news.
Thank you, Doug..for turning me on to that song and congratulating my son. You have no idea how much him starting this new job has improved my mental state. I know that I have to stop letting other people/influences dictate my mood…but I have not mastered that yet..and until I do, I will be grateful when I feel light…
Hmmmm…I think this is a blog post.
Good call. I’m known to wipe my eyes after watching (or reading) something online quite often, but since I can’t watch videos on this computer, I’ll take your word for the affective nature of the links you provide. Until, that is, I get on a different computer and go straight to them.
The penis one is really funny..and the poetry is amazing
fer Chrissake your whole post made me cry! Of course I had to hit the links on all the stuff I hadn’t heard of. Hang in there doll – lady hormones (or lack of them) suck but YOU fucking ROCK!
Hahaha…thanks, Eva…sorry I made you cry! BUT..it’s good to not be alone..and I am hanging in there..I am. I always do!
I always cry at some point during those talent shows that I shouldn’t be watching. I cry randomly over memories. I cry because I miss my kids…I just cry for no reason. Yes, hormones are out of whack. Thanks for letting me know I’m not a freak.
No..I doubt that you are a freak. Unless we’re both freaks.
Oh man..we’re probably both freaks.
Oh I love you. This is awesome. And you know, he’s probably almost over that Big Wheel. Wait? He’s the 17 year old, right? Sorry–it’ll be another 30 years before he’s over that Big Wheel (well, that’s how long it took me, but maybe he wasn’t as bitter about it to begin with. Some people aren’t, I realize).
I’ll have to write up the massive anxiety attacks (plural) I had on my recent vacation (which caused me to cry because I wasn’t sure I could remember how to get to the airport–the one NEAR MY HOUSE, and I got lost taking my kids to a museum they wanted to go to, and added an extra 20 minutes onto the drive EVEN THOUGH WE HAD NOTHING ELSE TO DO THAT DAY). Ah mental health issues. What fun you are.
The things we do to ourselves is..well….it can make like difficult.
Yeah, he’s the one, but he just turned 16. So…31 years.
I think a major source of your problem is that you watch too many damn videos, girlfriend. My secret is that I avoid, avoid, avoid any video that remotely looks like it might tug on my heartstrings. As soon as I saw that the elephant video was about animal abuse – I was all, “Hell no!” I just can’t handle stuff like that – there is enough sad stuff on television and in books that make me fall apart. Just last night, I was reading a book where the vampire husband of the half-human/half-vampire rouge vampire killer wife died – and I sobbed and sobbed. You would have thought the vamp was MY husband – except there are two problems with that – I wouldn’t cry as much for my current husband (and you know why) and the vampire is technically ALREADY dead – so that plot twist doesn’t really make much sense.
Oh, I know! I dont know WHY I watch them. I KNOW how I will react, but then I do it anyway. I worry about my sanity.
And you told on me about crying over a dying baby bird.
That was a great story though. At least you didn’t chop up a dead lizard.
Visited the grave of a little friend of my 6yo son who died in March in a car accident. She had no stone yet, so there was just kind of like a boulder with her name put on it in those mailbox stickers… you know? They’re like gold and black? That killed me. My son was fine, but those stickers fucked me up.
Oh hell…okay, now that is worth sobbing over..hormones or no.
I can’t even imagine keeeping a log of everything that makes me cry for an entire month! I think I’d have at least one entry a day. I know I cried yesterday and today. Fucking mid-life crisis! I won’t even click on the links you posted because I know that I would have to say I cried over multiple things today and then I will curse you.
You SHOULD be okay with the penis song…but the other ones? No way. Especially the Adam Sandler one.
I cry all the damn time. Every single day something chokes me up. On the other hand, every single day something makes me laugh, so I can also say I laugh all the damn time. I always figured it was me, that I am all about emoting all of the time. Maybe it’s hormones?
I don’t watch those stupid shows, though. I’m going to make an exception and click on the penis song link, because. Old man singing about his penis.
Anyway, good post. I really came here from The Bloggess to say that the name of the movie is Somewhere in Time. Cyndi Lauper did sing Time After Time. Love both the movie and the song. Any ideas on the watch? It bugs me.
I laugh too…I need to laugh more. 🙂
Somewhere In Time…THAT’S right! Hmmm…no real watch ideas.
This makes me think of my little ones growing up and that makes me sad, but not weepy. I’m glad I don’t have old lady hormones!
I’m glad you don’t, either…
the cool thing about them growing up is you get to be with them as adults and they are facsinating.
July is a really hard month for me. I can’t even talk about all the things I cried about. But I’m grateful for your list. Thanks for talking for me. xoxo
Any time, gorgeous! I’ve actually been relatively tear free so far in August..like 4 days in a row! I’m sorry July is hard for you. I hope August is better.
I just found your website, thanks to your Huffington Post article (which I loved). Thank you for your insight, sharing your insight and for your use of the word “fucking”.
I just love your writing!
Thank you so much!!!