I’ve always believed that there are more good than evil people. Mostly, I believe this due to self-preservation. To believe otherwise would necessitate that I completely change my view of reality in a way that is horrifying to me.
I mean, the fact that we are alive and kicking kind of proves it. Not that there aren’t atrocities being committed as I type this and as you read it, but still, we continue to exist. That has to speak to the good in the world, right?
What if I’m wrong, though?
When I was four years old, and still an only child, we lived in a small apartment in Northern Kentucky. I had this horrible little troll doll.
I fucking hated that goddamn doll. The doll freaked me out.
I threw the troll in the trash. When I woke up the next morning that goddamn doll was sitting on my dresser. I guess my mom found it in the trash and fished it out. I didn’t tell her I was afraid of the doll. It’s not like it’s unheard of for a four year old to throw something away that shouldn’t be thrown away.
I was traumatized, you guys.
Now? I would wear that troll doll around my neck on a chain every single day if it meant I never had to read another trollish comment on the internet. They scare me more than that troll doll. Even after it made it’s way out of the garbage with it’s evil, troll doll magic.
It’s become commonplace to read comments like “kill it with fire”, “too ugly to rape”, or “kill yourself”.
We’ve read these comments so often that we don’t bat an eye anymore. When someone types something horrible in order to wound another human, we are not stunned. We are not shocked. Shit, those comments might not even illicit a shoulder shrug anymore.
Every time I read something so filled with hate, I feel it in my center. I physically feel it and it feels like sadness with sharp, rusty edges.
What if there are more people who are reprehensible than good? What if our continued existence is only because we fear some sort of mutually assured destruction thing? What if goodness is not an overwhelming force in the universe? What if we are keeping our horribles in check because we don’t want any consequences?
I mean, not that there is no goodness. I know there is. I am just afraid that maybe there isn’t as much as I think there is.
This thought doesn’t just make me anxious. This thought rocks me and takes my breath away.
I’m starting to be afraid this is true.
Tell me I’m wrong.
Tell me that people are mostly good, because I need to hear this.
If I play devil’s advocate here and roll my eyes and say “Stop giving the bullshit thing that trolls say any weight. Don’t be a pussy. Nobody ever told you life was going to be easy. Be strong because only the strong survive.”
I actually believe this. We have no choice but to be strong. We have no choice but to fight for ourselves and what we believe in. But fuck, if I have to fight, I want it to be for a common good. I want to believe that we all want life to be better. I want to believe we want more kindness, tolerance, and understanding, because if we don’t, what’s the goddamn point?
What can I do about this? I guess nothing. I guess all I can do is try to remember the weight of my words.
Even so, there have probably been many times over the years that I could have been more kind when commenting on the internet. I never suggested suicide through self immolation or anything, but I’m sure there have been many times when I could have been more kind.
I guess all I can do is govern my own actions.
And find ways to continue to believe good outweighs evil.
I also should really stay out of the comments section on political articles. Perhaps even give up reading political articles for a while.
Anyone else besides me ready for this election to be over? For fuck’s sake, it’s really winding up the trolls.
I don’t trust people. It come from being single and too poor to buy a hot dog. We grew up poor. I wish my mother had talked to us about it instead of pretending every fucking thing was hunky fucking dory. I can deal with the truth. Don’t lie to me.
Those days are long gone. Don’t lie to me. Lie to me and we’re done.
Oh well, nice brisk day and it look like the sun promises to come out. Maybe I’ll run into that rare honest, pleasant person today.
I hope you do! Be sure to tell me if you do run into that person.
If you want an easy way to measure human goodness, just walk among strangers and smile broadly looking directly at people as you pass them. If they look back at you, most will smile back with a look of happy surprise. I have to make myself do this from time to time and it feels a little ridiculous, but I am always encouraged by the number of people who smile back. Kindness is contagious, just as anger is like jet fuel on the chronically frustrated. Pretty sappy stuff, huh?
I love it. My husband does this. He is truly one of the most pleasant AND curmudgeonly people I know. I have no idea how he pulls it off, but he does!
I think I still live in a little naive world where I genuinely believe that there are a LOT more good and nice people than there are trolls. It’s just that trolls have big mouths and that gets them attention. Maybe if we all deleted them, ignored them and made sure we said/wrote the nice things we think every chance we get, then the world would be a better place. And I agree with 4yr old you – troll dolls are fairly creepy.
I hope you are right…that is more good. I really do. I don’t like having my view of reality shaken like this.
Some people are mean if there are no consequences. Some people enjoy being mean, as long as there are no consequences. The internet allows for that. Trust that they will meet a real person who will show them kindness and they will change. It has happened. People are mostly good, just horribly scared and ignorant of their own power. This leads them to lash out then hide behind the tired old “it was a joke” defence. Call them out if you’re feeling strong, their bullshit thrives on good peoples’ silence. That is hard, and not good for you, I can’t do it online, only in person. Meantime, stay out of the comments section, no good will come from there! Your community (which you created) loves you.
Thank you for this. I need to read it a billion more times.
I have called people out online before and have been left shaken. It IS hard..and I will usually say something to people when they say ignorant/racist/misogynistic things..but it’s painful to me.
Repeat after me: I will not engage, I will not engage, I will NOT engage. This fuels the trolls and I have fallen prey to it myself. But I did give a troll a dressing down, then left. He could not talk back…ever! LOL But mostly I think it pays to picture some 12 yr old kid with nothing better to do but rile people. Most have a 12 yr old mindset. Not worth arguing with a budding teen. LOL Anyway, didn’t mean to lecture, but I once read an article about ultra-sensitive people and I saw myself. I stay away from anything that gives me that sick feeling inside. I think it is an over-developed imagination and flight instinct that overreacts. I knew exactly what you were talking about! Your readers prove there is more good. And you are more good!
I KNOW you are right. I do. And mostly, I do not engage…but I don’t ALWAYS not engage.
Not this comments section though
No..this section is awesome. I love this community SO MUCH
I truly believe that there are more good people than bad out there. I think that the trolls are just more likely to post something snarky than for a good person to say “you’re right! I agree with you.” Plus, the nasty ones validate each other, which just makes them meaner and nastier.
You have a good point. I think I’ll make an effort to comment when I agree with something positive, instead of just “liking” and scrolling on. That said, I am seriously considering giving up Facebook all together until after the election!
Cathy
Ps: I LOVE your blog.
You want my honest opinion? Well….I USED to think that people were mostly good. However, and a huge “however” because I don’t like to get political. But—given the way the Republican debates and the party in general has been as of late, I see there is an awful lot of hate spewed by these men. They don’t speak of what they would do for “We the People”–instead they continue to bash each other.
And..the WORST part about that is the crowds are cheering them on! WTF has happened to the population of our country? What happened to kindness and treating others the way you want to be treated? Huh?
I am convinced that the majority of peeps are evil. Oh yes. I am talking scary evil and I have a feeling it’s only going to get worse. It saddens me to no end.
This election has excited the lunatic fringe more than any in history. This is because there are lunatic fringe candidates. The LF is so excited to have some of their own running they have become more vocal than ever. The “normal” people look on in horror, revulsion and shame. They have nothing to say, what can you say to this ridiculousness? So they remain silent for the most part. This leaves only the LF dominating the comments, interviews, “news” pieces. So it seems that they are the majority. This makes them all the more excited. It emboldens them to be all the more vocal, crazy, nutty, whacko, evil… In short, all the more LFier?! Good, sane people are still the majority. Do not interpret the silence as evidence that there are few. There are many. They have merely stopped trying to have a meaningful dialog with the LF. They do not dignify the LF’s antics with any recognition or response. The silent majority sits back watching, waiting for the LF to implode. After which the SM will shake their heads and go on living their lives. (Or not, what the fuck do I know? Never mind. Forget everything I said).
I’ve been wondering… How come you require a website in order to leave a comment? I imagine that there are lots of people who don’t have a website but still enjoy your blog and sometimes are moved to comment. Just saying…
Nicely put. Thanks for that. And I don’t think a website is required, I think that’s just the blog template – I’ve seen it on wordpress and others. Here’s what came up when I pressed “submit comment: “Please enter a URL and then click the CommentLuv checkbox if you want to add your last blog post”. So it appears it’s a way for you to share your own blog with others. I’m purposely leaving that empty to see if it will post this response. Thanks again for your thoughtful comment!
Ohhh..okay! Yeah, I LOVE comment luv..I really want to promote other people in any way that I can! And Laura’s comment is awesome. Just what I needed to read.
Thank you for the explanation Cat. That makes sense.
Thank you…a voice of reason.
I didn’t know that I required a website! Hmmm..I will have my IT department (Randy) look into that.
I haven’t had to enter a website… I DO have to check the box that I’m not a spammer.
Laura?
Nice summary 🙂
Can you post that on the political websites?
And in public restrooms.
And on the High School’s public awareness announcements?
Bumper stickers. Letterheads for businesses.
Nuts. The list just gets longer.
And this is where ‘It’s the thought that counts’ gets it’s humble reputation.
Well…you never know with you. HAHAHAH
(just kidding)
The up[side is that we’re talking about anonymous people being rude online and not soldiers coming up to your house and demanding protection money or family members. That’s been common for most societies even during the period when mankind has been “civilized.”
Which is better than the time before that.
I guess. I mean, I think I read that somewhere…
If I can get cursed out online in place of someone in that troll’s life being beaten, then hey, it’s all working out for the best.
Right? (I’m not sure. It could be that we’re all actually potential mass murderers…)
haha..it could go either way. Although, I don’t want to murder people. Almost always. haha.
I, too, have always needed to believe that there are more good people than bad out there in this Cosmic Playground. Whether or not it’s simply my fantasy—-well, the results aren’t in yet. Of course, you apparently harbor the same fantasy, so maybe we can hope that there are many people in the world just like us who feel the same as we do. One of my favorite quotes: Be the change you want to see in the world. That’s what I try to do. No matter what else is going on or what others may be doing, I stick to my core beliefs and do what I know to be the right thing. Even in comments sections. I will come to the defense of someone who is being belittled and/or insulted. I was raised in a family of professional guilt-trip planners, scathing, biting sarcasm flingers, etc. and so learned from the best. Throughout the years, I finally tempered my sarcastic tendencies and use them for good now instead of evil. I defend those who don’t possess the ability to adequately defend themselves with one, carefully written sentence. Having said that, I also have not been on Facebook in several months, simply for the reasons you mentioned in your post. I don’t have the patience nor the energy to deal with so much CRAP. The worst part is when someone you have known for a long time posts something so nasty, so vile (and they talk about their Christianity all the time, too! HAHA!!!) that you are stunned into silence, wondering if you have ever REALLY known these people at ALL.
I just think it comes down to: life can be scary and so can the people in it. We just need to seek out the people who share our core values and who value their integrity above all else. And of course, we wait and see what happens in November. For the truly scary reality is, we COULD actually end up with a Trump—a-hem! I mean a TROLL—for a President.
God…that possibility scares the shit out of me. It really does.
Happy first day of your next year of life. May it be the start of true troll extermination. Or eradication.
Or maybe just vaccination.
I would wear a troll doll as a talisman against mean talkers and hateful political smear campaigners.
I would wear garlic and carry a silver cross, but I might be tempted to use the cross for stabbing, so….
Yes, I am ALWAYS ready for the elections and campaigns to be over. It’s too hard to distinguish truth and reality from what a paid speechwriter and an over-enthusiastic campaign manager will provide for a candidate to say. It seems like a better idea to just read a good book and one day soon, find out who the new president is.
But that would be unpatriotic and a disrespect to all those women who worked so hard for me to get to vote. Talk about a gift horse that bucks, y’all.
Yes, Michelle. There ARE good people in the world. We meet here every few days and provide encouragement and a safe place to solve the world’s problems and rejoice in our hard-won happy moments.
And if somebody sneaks in and tries to comment in public news-forum style, we are able to circle the wagons and protect the Queen.
These are the conditions and situations that occur whenever good tries to escape bad. Doesn’t matter if it is political, child-rearing centered, or taxable.
And nobody can kick your butt as hard as you when looking back on times you could have been nicer. Those ‘re-enactments’ (voices in my head going through the scene, line by humiliating line) can keep my therapist’s prescription pad light on pages.
So, yes, I weigh my words carefully and remain oblivious as to how the trolls sleep at night with all those snarky comments just waiting to be released on the innocent and unsuspecting happy people.
And I try to make sure that at least one person I encounter a day, gets the chance to smile back. (Sorry for the other 8 😉 ) And if I can bring a hater around on at least one point of contention, I hear real angel wings flapping.
Good thing I’m a shit-talker as well as an ass kisser!! (I prefer to be thought of as diplomatic and talking to people like I’d like to be talked to, but a co-worker has informed me of my true title. I think she wears the ‘Troll-Bitch’ sticker pretty fucking well.)
Shit, Terri Lee, wanna just stay here at Michelle’s with me? Where it’s safe? It’s Troll Utopia out there and I’m trying to act happy today!!
It IS safe here…
and yes, I agree, it’s important that we vote..our long ago sisters fought so hard for us.
Years ago that I was surrounded by what was “the best and brightest of American’s future” (one of the US military academies) and a vast majority of my peers were wonderful, supportive, intelligent people in day to day interactions but it was the most BIZARRE and confusing thing to me that so many of them were what we now call trolls. Facebook was still in only for college students, but we had our own internal IT systems and so many of my peers were just awful. I think it came from just plain ego. Most wouldn’t dare say it out loud to your face, but anonymously within our online systems they were nasty badgers. I still don’t get it. But I have a better understanding of WHO it is online because of that experience. I’ve even been (no more) best friends with people that in real life are what I might I call loudly opinionated and negatively witty — but still wonderful and confident when it comes down to it — and that’s what translated to outright horrific crap online. Confounding I tell you.
I think being anonymous is a huge part of the problem.
There ARE more good people than bad. I do believe this and try to surround myself with them, in person as well as in spirit. I think fewer people comment the good things they’re feeling for any number of reasons. They feel vulnerable, they feel as though they’re being to “Pollyanna” or trite. Sincere compliments aren’t often as funny, or cutting, or clever, so they’re often left unsaid.
Or maybe that’s just me. I am more likely to keep my mouth shut unless I think I’m being clever.
I am sick about what’s happening in politics right now. I am sorry that so many people are letting anger and ignorance propel them. I think the angry and ignorant feel justified in saying what they feel because rage fuels their stupidity and vitriol, where as light and love feel like things to be guarded and protected. Putting the happy out there makes us vulnerable, because so many like to shit all over the shiny stuff.
I do not read the comment section. I read your stuff because I enjoy your perspective and Randy is a hoot.
There. That wasn’t clever or biting or sarcastic or witty. And I’m still standing.
I love this so much. Thank you. And I didn’t think it was Pollyanna at all!
When I was a kid and watched “2001” the part that freaked me out the most was when one of the apes killed another. And it wasn’t the killing that freaked me out. It was the other apes cheering because I knew they were saying “Fuck yeah! Now we get the water hole and we don’t have to share!” even though it looked like there was enough for all the apes.
I feel like I see that attitude a lot.
But I also see a lot of cases of people saying to someone, “Hey, I don’t need this, take it” or even “You need this more than I do. Take it.”
So there’s good and bad out there which I know isn’t a very comforting thought, especially since neither one seems to be a fixed measurable quantity that would allow us to say which way the scales really are tipped, but I try to hang on to the good and not think about the apes as much as I can.
I hope you are right…I mean, about as many good as bad. And fuck the apes. haha.
I am canadian and tired of the election coverage lol. If trump wins I need to start building my own wall. Ack!
Right? it’s really scary to me.
Amen sister.
🙂
Damn, I just wrote a hella long comment and my computer ate it. Here goes again:
First, thank you Laura for saying it so well that now I don’t have to. I find that it is sometimes helpful to just go ahead and say the nice thing you are thinking about what someone else has written. It feels like everyone wins when I do.
I think there is more good behavior out there than bad, because A) society wouldn’t work otherwise, and B) you just don’t hear about it as much when it happens. We’re sort of programmed to find and correct problems, so the negative stuff has an easier time getting our attention.
There is another (among the many) blog I have been commenting on for years, where the main subjects are race and politics. Thar be trolls there. But I still comment because I like the blogger and what he has to say, and I feel like I have things to say on those subjects. I know the trolls there will say mean, awful things about me and whatever I say, but I mostly don’t respond because it’s bait for an argument (that the trolls don’t really care about in the first place) and as such I don’t much care what they have to say. Sometimes I slip up and argue a little, but it almost always feels like a mistake later.
Which brings me to Nasreen Iqbal, who has also been commenting there lately. Her comments are always sane and on point and I admire her for her fortitude in such a toxic environment. After her comment in this thread, I feel like maybe I understand a little better how she manages to pull it off, and feel like thanking her for the perspective.
Did that make any sense? I really hope it did.
It made all the sense in the world.
I hate it when I lose comments..or blog posts. I’ve lost whole posts before and it feels like a goddamn paper cut in my eyeballs.
I don’t think I could read race or political themed blogs..I’d be agitated all the time.
I learned as a young teen that there are some very mean people in this world. We moved from the north to the south right smack in the middle of the civil rights uproar. And not just to the south, but to Birmingham, Alabama. And we didn’t start going to just any high school, my sister and I, but to one of the two that was desegregated, amid all the riots, the boycotts, the protests, the National Guard and all that. Yeah. And learned that people, even young people, can be very, very mean. Even though it was not our choice to move there, we were vilified, simply because we were from the north. We were hollered at, jeered, harassed, threatened with violence, had eggs thrown at our house and racial slurs thrown at ourselves – four kids just trying to go to school and adjust to a new life in a new city with a newly divorced mom.
These trolls on the internet are just an amalgamation of the trolls that were making our lives hell so many years ago. There will always be people like that in the world. Just as there will always be events and situations that stoke the vitriol and rage that seems to always be simmering within them. The best thing you can do for yourself is realize you are so so so much better than them, and remind yourself of that every day. Because you are. And so am I.
Yes. Yes we are.
I am appalled and sorry and saddened that your family had to go through that bullshit. Humans so very often just make me shudder.
I truly believe there are more good people in this world unfortunately the bad ones get most of the attention and the press. Acts of love, generosity, compassion and kindness are not newsworthy and not what the presidential candidates are going to be talking about although that is what would my vote!
And I’m a registered republican! I sound like a bleeding heart liberal! So far I’m not voting for any of those candidates. The Republican Party has been taken over by crazies!
Good post!! I still
Have my troll doll
I tend to be a cynic, but I fight it and try to give people the benefit of the doubt. It’s tough, but I believe some people deserve it. Others not so much.
I hate the comment section. The most ignorant comments will set me off and it’s hard not to engage. Seeing as I’m so sensitive, I usually avoid it.
Really, I think that most people are mostly good. Certain events bring out the worst in people (elections, Black Friday, post-Christmas sales) and certain people are so lost that they find it necessary to hurt others to give themselves a sense of the upper hand, which is less baffling than I’d prefer to admit.
But most people, most of the time, are mostly good 🙂
There IS more good than bad in the world. I am reminded of that every time someone does something kind for me that I cannot currently repay. Those things go on my list of karmic IOUs and I am very fortunate to owe so much. That wouldn’t be possible without a lot of good people in the world.
I suspect there are only a few trolls on the internet, each with a list of pseudonyms, spending every free moment bee-bopping from post to post, spewing hate and bitterness. These are not normal people and I truly believe they taint the sample. Try to keep that in mind the next time you read the comments. Most likely HalFuckedInTheHead is also know as JohnTwistedThoughts, KaraFuckYouToo, and LucyWantsToKillYouAll. It seems like a miserable life to lead. But it doesn’t have to make you miserable too. {{HUGS}}
PS – Cat stepped on the keyboard and deleted my “a”. LOL
Wow. It is very easy to get discouraged sometimes at our state of humanity. Especially during this particular time of “primary shit”, and potential presidential candidates that can’t even smile at each other and “mean” it. Sometimes I , a “new” 58 year old, can hardly believe how we treat our fellow human beings. It’s embarrassing and childish.
But thru all this, I do believe there is good and that good will, have its way with bad. The light will and does outshine the dark. I am determined to believe it so…..or as Captain Picard used to say, “Make it So!”
I’ve been ready for this election to be over since like, August. They started the hooplah far too early, and some of it just isn’t funny anymore. Granted, “Is Ted Cruz the Zodiac Killer?” has been a startling meme (is it a meme? I might not be using that properly), because I regularly forget that people other than me read about serial killers and stuff.
So far as the comments go….I read the comments. Typically. What REALLY bothers me is sometimes, there are outliers who actually get themselves so whipped up in their Internet rage that they take it to the Outernet.
There are still good people. Sometimes you even find them on the Internet. But it’s best to have them in real life.
I wrote an article recently at BLUNTMoms and the trolls came out of the woodwork. Not agreeing with what I wrote is one thing, but they said it was poorly written. I was hurt that someone would attacking me, not my opinions. I’m not able to say anything life-affirming for you this week Michelle except that I love you.
Thank you! Yeah, I got a ton of those comments on Huffington Post. That doesn’t bother me as much as it used to. And that is very nearly true!!
I love you, too!
People are mostly good. I really believe it. I have been hurt by horrible comments as well. Fuck them. They have no lives and have nothing better to do.
I hope you are right..
I think there are just as many, if not more, good people than bad.
But, as it has already been mentioned, often the evil is louder, or more pervasively damaging. A really shitty, “hope you die” comment burrows in a lot deeper than “wow, you are awesome!” comment.
Also, bad behavior travels in packs, in a mob mentality. That also makes it seem as though it carries more weight.
There is so much good in the world. I’ve experienced it first hand. This post reminded me that if I try harder to be a better person, I can fight for good. Like a superhero, only without a cape.
Now I want a goddamn cape.
Sister..we all need capes
“I guess all I can do is govern my own actions.”
If we all did this then there would be a lot less hatred and cowardice running rampant. I believe that every single thing we do and say matters and that no one truly gets away with spreading negativity, even if they think they do.
Thinking about the need to believe that most people are good, I try to remind myself that comments on a forum or an article are a microcosm, a small group that appears far bigger and imposing than it actually is. The internet does a great job of skewing perception.
It really does..
You know the only time I’ve ever been trolled ( is that a verb) was when I wrote about how I just do not understand the American ” right” to own a gun and how the stats for gun-related deaths per 100,000 population in non- gun toting countries is less than 1, whilst in USA it’s about 11. I was stunned by the vicious nature of the response I provoked. I’m an Australian. We’re a tiny population on a huge island at the bottom of the globe. Who gives a shit what we think? Trolls with guns do!
But hey, I get to laugh loudest.
Fuck me. Donald Trump as ” the Commander in Chief, and Leader of the Free World” ….
I’m staying down here on my island!!!
Fucking hell, if that happens, I kind of want to come and visit.
Hey, I started following you on Twitter. Now I know I need to follow your blog. Love this post.
I too need to stop reading the comments on controversial articles because most are just troll hate—the underbelly of the Internet. I think it’d be fantastic if people could state their beliefs or values in an unemotional state because maybe the trolls would have less to feed off. But that’s probably a perfect world.
And I grew up with the opposite kinda view—having a neurotic mom I learned to trust no one, then all the programs we had in school on stranger danger. I still to this day, probably because I watch a lot of Investigation Discovery, feel there are more evildoers so to speak than the intrinsically good.
Love this post and I look forward to reading more!
Hi Sarah! Thank you so much!
I’m glad you are here. 🙂
Thankfully I am not in the least bit politically inclined and so tend to not even hear the absolute rubbish that most of our politicians sprout on a daily basis – well that is until I pop down to see the old people and my Mom tells me about something stupid someone has said or done !!!!
I was quite intrigued with how the USA politics words – so different to here – but I still cannot, for the life of me, consider Donald Trump to be worthy presidential material !!! Sorry, but I just can’t.
I also can’t believe how long everyone campaigns for in trying to win an election – surely that time would be better spent actually trying to make a difference in the way the country is run – no wonder a standing president has to lose a year of their first term if they want to get re-elected – they have to spend too much time convincing people to vote for them again instead of making the decisions that would get them re-elected (at least this is my very limited understanding of how the elections work and I could be talking the biggest lot of rubbish about it) – nonetheless, it does amuse me.
I have always said that if I could find just one politician who would tell me what he/she could deliver without slandering the opposition and telling me what crap people they are and policies they have, I would vote for them for that fact alone even if I didn’t really buy into their policies !!!
He scares the shit out of me.
Darling,
Don’t despair. Many people are flat out dicks. They are self-absorbed, insecure twats who raise more of the same.
But those people don’t have to be in your sphere. You cultivate a world that attracts people who are kind and smart and creative. Those are the ones worth getting up for every day.
So as long as I can avoid the dickwads and the douchebags and fucktards, I am good. After four decades of wondering if a stranger likes me, or whether my issues with someone were mine or theirs, I chose to live in Pleasantville. Pleasantville, where the only faces I see regularly are familiar, dear or welcoming and smiling. Pleasantville, where people get one chance to impress me, and if not, I jettison them.
Sadly, you cannot always steer clear. Sometimes those fuckshits are in your own family. When I have to interact, I meditate, take deep breaths and visualize myself in a luminous bubble that deflects the toxicity they spew from every pore.
Then I come home and take a shower. And pull out the voodoo dolls and stickpins. 🙂
As for the trolls – well, I have had experience with that heinous species. Enough that I find them laughable and sad and twisted and sometimes, simply having a bad day.
Buck up, little pony. Age gives you great perspective. Time is short. Spend it on the ones who make you smile.
Very good advice! Thank you!
I’m so sorry you’re feeling like this and thank you so much for sharing this blog. I think most of us will relate to how you’re feeling. Which, of course, means that most of us are good. Whenever I start to feel down like this I remember a saying “All the evil in the world can’t stop the good.” It sounds a little trite, but if you think about it a minute, it’s so true. The problem is that we notice the bad and it hurts, but we don’t notice the good or the neutral as much because it doesn’t hurt. When things start to get to me like this, I turn off the internet and get out of the house and meet real people, or at least call a friend. The truth is, even if you and I are the only good people out there, we still are going to keep being who we are, and that’s a great thing!
You know what? You make an excellent point. Even if we are the only good people out there, we are going to keep being who we are. yes.
I cannot wait for this to all be over! They’ve been all over my state for the last 2 weeks and my phone has not stopped ringing and the commercials. Good God the commercials please make them stop!
This is why I’m glad we just have netflix. I forgot what it was like to watch a shit ton of commercials until Randy was in the hospital. How annoying. And screw the political ones. gaaaah.
Elaborating on the comment Jane left (and sorry for the days-later comment…I’m just catching up on my blog reading):
I struggle with the same terrifying thought that perhaps there is more evil than good in this world. That’s a common drunken question…….”Do you think people are inherently good or evil?” My answer is always “good,” but I do at times have a gnawing sense that I could be delusional about that. Back to Jane’s comment, a couple years ago, I woke up feeling, shall we say, crusty. At that point, I lived in a neighborhood in San Francisco that was a combination of aloof hipsters and homeless people (the city’s typical up-and-coming combination of people as the neighborhood is in transition…ya know, right before they force all the people who have been living there for generations out into the street….gentrification is an ugly word to me…but that’s a whole different matter). Anyway, I was determined to NOT be crusty this day, so I set out on my 2-mile walk to Trader Joe’s and decided to smile and say “good morning” to every single person I encountered, no matter who it was. Take note, that I’d MUCH rather converse with what is known as the city’s “undesirables” than with hipsters; but I decided to give the hipsters a chance, anyway, skinny jeans and all (isn’t that a Tim Robbins book?). So here I go, out into the street on my mission. I’m going to guess that I encountered 40 people on my way there and back. And exactly TWO did not reciprocate my greeting with a smile and a “good morning” (and I’m pretty sure both of those people had their own conversations happening in their heads). Most were visibly shocked, then pleased, that I was addressing them in a positive way (a sad testament to how we treat our homeless). Even the hipsters shocked me, with what I can only describe as almost a relief that someone had activated their personalities and they got to lift the veil and speak to someone. In summation, by the time I got home, I was no longer crusty, and my faith in humanity had been restored. I realized that some of us are all so used to being afraid to interact with other humans (especially in this tech-spoiled world of cell phone zombiism (I settled on that spelling after much thought)), that it’s easy to lose faith in the goodness of people. Sometimes we just need to activate them.
Thank you for this reminder. Yes..we have to be the change we want to see.