Tweets: The magic 8 ball doesn’t work anymore

So, I’m trying something new on this blog. Hubs installed a nifty plugin which curates and posts tweets from the past week. We’ll test it for a bit and see if you like reading this stuff.

  • Can we go out for dinner. No. can we go out for dinner. No. can we go out for dinner. No.<–convo with my 14 yr old EVERY FUCKING NIGHT.
  • Cool! It’s nearly Kiss My Ass O’clock!
  • Things I am grateful for: I don’t have spider eggs in my ears. My name isn’t Prudence. I don’t have Dumbo ears and sugar free pudding cups.
  • I think I’m smart until I do something like put hand lotion on and THEN try to take the cap off the chapstick. ->
  • We’ve secretly replaced Michelle’s brain with a wet sponge…let’s see if she notices.. ->
  • Some people I work with are as annoying as that feeling of one sock rolling down your leg when you walk. ->
  • I hate to judge = I love to judge. ->
  • Remember that one time when you shut the fuck up? I love that story. ->
  • Robert Downey Jr says: STOP DOING THAT! ->
  • I only have one sided conversations with my jiminy cricket. ‘just dooooo it’ that’s what I hear. I think my devil killed my angel years ago. ->
  • It’s possible that I have an issue with getting irritated to easily when a ring tone can ruin my morning. ->
  • Daniel Dog Lewis #AnimalCelebs ->
  • Quentin Tarantula #Animalcelebs ->
  • Brad Pitt Bull #Animalcelebs ->
  • Every time I decide to NOT dislike people…they start talking. ->
  • Sad truth: two people don’t make a mob. Me, talking to my bored work friend when she suggested we make a flash mob at work. ->
  • Too many people are asking themselves: WWABD? (what would Archie Bunker do) ->
  • Today’s earworm is brought to you by Bob Marley. No Woman No Cry ->
  • Okay..I made it. You may resume. ->
  • Okay…I REALLY MEAN IT this time. I have to get ready. Stop talking to me. ->
  • The more I read of @stephenfry the more I adore him.  ->
  • okay..I gotta get ready. You guys can talk about what you had for dinner, relationship problems and the shamwow while I’m gone. ->
  • If I hear ‘happy hump day’ at work, I am just going to scream until they go away. So..it will be ‘happy scream and go away day’ instead. ->
  • I made it through yesterday without speaking many words at all. I’m hoping to beat that record. Just at work though. I talk a lot at home. ->
  • let’s all agree that if the right side of your hair looks good and the left is frizzy and stupid that it’s a hot look. Okay? ->
  • Laying in bed reading twitter with coffee propped up against my leg. This won’t end well…it never does.. ->
  • Good night…I hope you all dream of cheesecake and beefcake.. ->
  • related note: Someone needs to find me something to wear to work tomorrow. ->
  • Yeah, we’ve reached that moment in time where we are ready to admit we aren’t doing another goddamn thing tonite. Suck it, laundry. ->
  • According to my MRI, I have a duck in my shoulder. ->
  • In fact, I think I’ll set up shop. I can also read MRI images. It’s true. I read mine from looking it up on the internet. ->
  • I wish I was a therapist. Short sessions. I would just say: BE MENTALLY HEALTHY YOU FUCKING NUTJOB. I could see at least 30 people an hour. ->
  • Show of hands…how many of you are avoiding prison by releasing your crazy on twitter? ->
  • In fact…from now on..EVERY day is Michellerday. No one works on Michellerday. ->
  • Or your and you’re. I KNOW THE FUCKING DIFFERENCE…but my fingers apparently do not. ->
  • I can trip and fall over and not be TOO embarrassed..but misuse the words there they’re or their and I’m mortified. And I do it ALL THE TIME ->
  • It’s only TUESDAY….fucking TUESDAY! It feels like Thursday at the earliest. I think I should get to call the day from now on. ->
  • These clothes aren’t going to fold themselves, you know. Which is really too bad, because I would buy self folding clothes. ->
  • I’m having a recovery drink with apple cider vinegar. My kid is getting chicken and mashed potatoes. Don’t tell me I haven’t suffered. ->

So, what did you think about this first experiment? Did you laugh, cry, or yawn?  Let me know in comments.

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