Today is Saturday. It’s not super hot. We went shopping and Randy started a weird art project. We rode the Anderson Ferry to avoid traffic. I love the ferry.
Randy and I had a lovely morning at Findlay market. I love shopping there.
I love parting with my money and giving it to local people who bring food from their garden.
Also, I drank a vanilla latte that made me drop an egg. I mean, if I have eggs. I’m pretty sure I don’t. Maybe a straggler or two, but if there are any left, then they are mushy.
Anyway, as we were leaving, we saw a super old black man and a super old white man sitting on a wall listening to an old comedy bit on a cell phone. They were laughing so hard they were crying.
It was unspeakably gorgeous.
I don’t know what the bit was. It reminded me somewhat of Bob Newhart. It wasn’t Bob Newhart, but I think it was probably from that era. I didn’t hear any of the jokes. The phone was turned up loud and was audible, but all I could see were these two men laughing. I felt better about everything for a few minutes.
We came home and hunkered down for the day.
Joey is away camping at a music festival, so Randy and I are left on our own.
We’ve been acting up.
Joey has gone to this festival for years now. I used to freak out the entire time. Now, I just get a little anxious. Not the normal kind, the uncomfortable kind. This is still an improvement. At least my brain isn’t screaming and flashing red lights in my head the entire time.
Still, I have to check in. And Joey responded the way he does.
I texted him last Wednesday to make sure he made it to the campground okay.
Me: You make it okay?
Joey: No. We took a wrong turn, fell in with a bad crowd and now I’m in a gang.
Me: Dammit
Joey: What are you gonna do?
Me: I love you anyway.
But I digress again.
We came home and did what perfectly normal people do.
Randy got all my acrylic paint, went outside, and painted leaves and pine needles.
The acrylic paint ran out, so he resorted to spray paint.
We just wanted to take some interesting pictures.
We’ve been in this house a little over a year now. We don’t really talk to the neighbors and they don’t bother us. But I know how clannish this area is and most of our neighbors are related to each other. I’m sure they talk about us.
Now? I’m pretty sure they’re all a little concerned.
Who paints leaves and pine needles?
Crazy people. Awesome people.
It’s all good. We are who we are. It’s not terrible to be the weirdos.
Also, the pictures are amazing.
I’m sad, outraged and fucking tired that it’s normal to have mass shootings in our country.
I’m also grateful to spend my days with Randy. He’s fun.
We have to remember to have fun.
Edited to add: Okay, so Randy posted some pictures on Twitter and someone pointed out the type of plant that Randy painted.
We have a huge honeysuckle forest behind our backyard. We also had a ridiculously huge poison ivy growth in our backyard when we first moved in. The vines went 20 feet up the huge pine trees beside our deck. The leaves were nearly as big as dinner plates. At least dessert plate size.
Anyway, we paid a poison ivy remover dude to kill it. It was so big that we have to leave the dead vines wrapped around the 50 foot tall pine trees. The vines have grown into the trunks of the trees, if we removed them, it would kill the trees.
It appears we have another huge growth behind our backyard.
And Randy painted the poison ivy.
Now we have to call the poison ivy remover dude to come and kill this batch. Poor Randy. I’ll be at work. Randy will have to have the awkward “You appear to have painted your poison ivy leaves. One doesn’t see that often” conversation with the poison ivy remover dude.
I totally fucking love this post! Just FYI and shit.
Our neighbors think we are weird and we don’t even paint our leaves. But maybe we should start just to get them more riled up. I thoroughly love the text exchange. between you and Joey. Awesome! The shootings are so disturbing. When is there gonna be a change? It is so horrible. Sigh. Oh and the chat about dude you painted your poison ivy- hilarious. Oh to be a fly on the wall.
I love this post, but then again, you always make me laugh.
And painting poison ivy is something my husband would do IF he painted leaves. Instead, he just keeps replanting things in the garden bed to replace the last thing that died, only to watch THAT thing die, all the while saying “I think there’s just too much clay”. I’d suggest some viny plant that will just grow up the wall, but we’d probably end up with poison ivy.
Tell Randy that the poison ivy looks fab.
I love it that you take time for both the pain and the joy here. And the paint. And “Holy shit, Randy painted poison ivy” was one of my first thoughts when I saw the pictures and I assumed he did that deliberately because that’s the kind of badass thing y’all would do. Can painted poison ivy still make you itchy? I don’t blame you for not wanting to find out but from your description of your area y’all probably have a plant called jewel weed that can cure a poison ivy rash.
Joey should know about this plant too, just in case.
Anyway we need to take action to prevent more mass shootings–they now average one a day in this country–but thank you for the reminder of the joy in life we’re trying to preserve.
This is just the best. I just know there’s that one neighbor who’s saying,”My people!”. Hope they bring pie.
Thank you for the image of the two men laughing over a comedy bit. And the images of the trees. People can be so horrible (witness the violence and the political inaction due to greed). I’m overwhelmed, and it helps me move forward to take a break from intense analysis of the problem and considering practical solutions. Thanks for pointing out our shared humanity.
This was a wonderful, funny and disturbing post! It’s hard to explain how you can feel happy, amused and furious at the same time. I just want to kiss you! The trees & plants are beautiful painted – and if anything needed to be made joyful looking – evil bad shit should. Enlarge and frame the pictures for your walls!
I know I showed this to you before, but here is the video about how to avoid getting a rash from poison ivy.
I doubt it would work on Poison Ivy, but who gets a rash from The Cramps?
It’s all about grease cutting soap and a washcloth:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4oyoDRHpQK0
I’ve run out of things to say about gun violence, which is weird as I’ve exceeded the character limit on blog commenting software multiple times when writing about it.
I’m pretty sure Randy has found his calling painting poison Ivy to make it obvious for all of us to stay away from it!
I can’t believe Randy painted the poison ivy or that you even have it in your yard. I feel itchy just thinking about it. I agree about not normalizing this horror. We have to get that nutcase and his cronies out ASAP.
The painted leaves (Poison Ivy or not) are beautiful! What a cool idea. And I love Joey’s texts. What a cool kid. And I love that you still find beauty and joy when we are surrounded by so much tragedy and sadness. You story about the two men sharing their laughter reminded me of a scene I saw years ago, driving in New Orleans where I lived at the time. It was the day before Valentine’s Day, I believe. I saw these three young men, all about maybe 14 years old, sitting at a bus stop, holding aloft, each one, a beautiful Valentine’s day balloon, ribbons streaming off of them. It was so cool, these guys taking balloons home to their moms or sisters or girlfriends, or whoever. It gave me so much joy. These days it seems more important than ever to find the joy that still surrounds us. Thank you for sharing yours.
The painted leaves are lovely. I have the smallest yard in the world (really, it’s about a 8×20 back yard and 5×20 side yard.) In the side yard, by the street, is one of those big green electric boxes on a cement pad. Every once in a while I pour vinegar and salt under the thing, which temporarily kills the poison ivy that seems to creep out from there about once a year. Luckily, it’s not bad, I don’t need to call the guy.
Did you know you can buy chalk paint in spray form? it’s expensive, but good for temporary art.
I get wound up about the guns — El Paso, Dayton, Chicago, Brooklyn. What the hell, dudes? this is messed up.
That is the loveliest poison ivy ever.
Voting blue as always. Love from NYC.
You are my Muse.
*bows low before greatness*
If you can’t ever get RID of the poison ivy, then you should definitely always PAINT it. It’s gawjus!
Also, LOVE the youJoey text convo.
I’ve missed you!
I always think my neighbors are talking about me too.