It was a lovely weekend. I’m sitting in my bed and wondering what is smudged all over the sheet. It looks like motor oil. More likely it’s chocolate.
Oh well, laundry is Randy’s gig.
Today is my last day of five days off. I should be out on the deck and enjoying the sun before it gets too hot, but my bedroom is cool and dark like a cave and it feels too good to leave it quite yet.
When we were sitting outside yesterday, Forest Whitaker came on our play list by Brother Ali. I hadn’t heard it in a while and had forgotten how much I like it. Whatever comes up, comes out…we don’t put our hands over our mouths.
HAHAHAFUCKINGHAHAHA.
Yeah, not so much. I really don’t say everything I think. But really, should we?
This is my favorite song about self acceptance.
I also sat for a while and contemplated my sun. She’s been with us for about 15 years now. I bought her at a yard sale in Northern Kentucky along with some glasses from the Kentucky horse park. I don’t know why I bought the glasses. I probably had a good reason at the time. They’re all broken now, but my sun survived. And very nearly intact.
She’s not perfect and she is broken, but she isn’t in pieces. Just missing a part. She’s a bad ass. We had a hurricane in Ohio. We did! Hurricane Ike made it all the way here in 2008. We lost power for 4 days and my sun was blown down. She was broken, but she survived. It would take more than one little Ohio hurricane break her beyond repair.
When I first got her, she was all one color. The years and the weather changed her face. She became more colorful and more interesting. Even the lines that developed added something beautiful.
It occurred to me yesterday that one day she will be nothing but dust. When we’re gone, who would want a broken sun? They won’t see how she’s evolved over the years. They won’t look at her face and remind themselves to be calm and to not panic. I have to assume she will be tossed out.
I can live with that. We all have our time. Even my sun.
Her time isn’t over quite yet. She’s aging, but she is strong and beautiful. Years settle on her face and add dimensions that make her more interesting. The fact that she’s broken doesn’t make her any less whole.
She is exactly where she is supposed to be.
The coming years will change her more and the changes will settle on her face gracefully. Perhaps one day another hurricane will come along. She’ll survive if it does.
We slid into unofficial Summer this weekend and it was perfect.
I am exactly where I am supposed to be.
Sounds like you had the perfect stay at home break – and I love your “sun” and what it represents. Wear and tear makes things (and people) more interesting and implies a story. Blank and perfect slates are boring.
I did have a wonderful break. And thank you. 🙂
xxx
🙂
So your sun is acquiring more beauty and meaning as it ages? Just taking after its owner, no doubt. Somewhere in my storage I have a little plaster sun, that I colored with felt pens because it didn’t look right the color of milk. I had to look up makeup ads online to figure out how to color the face. It ended up mostly that day-glo yellow-green that highlighters use with dark red accents. And as I recall, one of its rays has the end broken off a little.
Mine is changing all on it’s own..I’ve never painted it or anything..which is odd, because sooner or later, I paint everything.
Beautiful words. And I absolutely adore your sun (you).
Thanks, sister. 🙂
Wow. Loved this…
Thank you…apparently when I escape my cubicle for more than 2 days, I can be at least a little positive. 🙂
You made better choices with your weekend than I did. Summer came rushing in without my acknowledging it at all. Somehow this piece just reminds me of the value of being still, letting a thought roll around and take its own form… aging in its own way. Thank you.
I’m so glad you liked it. I really did have a nice weekend. I so badly don’t want to go back to work tomorrow. Hopefully, it won’t be horrible since it’s a 3 day week
ahhh and lately Ive just been trying to figure out where Im supposed to be.
Well..that was then..now I’m back in my cubicle and I feel very much like I’m not supposed to be here.
We’ll figure it out because we’re amazing. 🙂
Oh how lovely to wander over to you from the wonder that is Vikki Claflin. Loving the “fact that she is broken doesn’t make her any less whole.” So true. And yes, we do all have our time – here’s hoping that it’s l o n gggggggg for all of us.
I’m so glad you wandered over, too!!!
And thank you. I hope we have a long time as well…
I want your sun. And clearly I’m not the only one. You took her when others had passed her over. While I hope you and she have a long and happy time together if there must someday come a parting of the ways perhaps someone else will see her strength and beauty too.
Maybe! It’s nice to think so.
Out of our 4 kids, I have one who is VERY sentimental. I put my money on her.
This was so beautiful. I wish… I had this kind of peace. This feeling of being exactly where I should be.
I feel like I should feel like I’m exactly where I should be.
Does that count?
Thank you and yes, it does count.
I wish I had that kind of peace, too….for more than an hour in one afternoon…
But I guess I should be grateful for the hour.
I had a long lovely weekend like this, too, and am just getting back. I may write about it, but first had to unclutter my head by writing a random post about nothing.
I love your sun and your beautiful evocative analogy. The phrase about taking time to smell the roses comes to mind…why don’t people realize how true that is?
I dunno. I forget it All. The. Time.
I’m trying to remember though.